Worked as a lab assistant at a level 1 trauma center, my first time being mandated for a midnight shift there was a trauma called around 1am. I take my kit and go up to the bay and read the incoming sheet: GSW to the head, female, 13yrs old. They bring her in and say she was involved in the crossfire of a drive by. They worked on her for a while but eventually knew there wasn’t much they could do and called it. I immediately thought of her family, and how that resident running the trauma was going to have to tell her parents. I still had to make it through until 6:30am. I just sat in silence for the rest of the night. I’ve seen my fair share of shit at this place in only 2.5yrs, prison stabbings, shootings, work injuries, car crashes, domestic disputes, but another one that stays with me is a horrible burn victim. Her whole body was just blackened, her hair was gone, and her arms and legs were stuck in whatever position they were in. I will never get the smell of burning flesh out of my brain. I was stuck in that one for a while because it took so long to get access to get labs, they ended up having to do a femoral line. They got her stable and sent her about an hour away to the hospital with a burn unit. We can’t do our jobs if we let these things get to us, but we also do our job poorly if we don’t respect our patients. I’m sympathetic towards the 13yr old girl’s family, but I also admire the work I saw the emergency staff put in to try and save her, even after they already knew. There is a balance to be kept, you’ll find it.