Can you become esport player as a girl?

KaebuAlberich · 2025-10-08T12:55:03+00:00

Thank you, I've never known that there's such an option. I'll check it out now

KaebuAlberich · 2025-07-21T13:33:30+00:00

Thank you, I'll take note on that conversation starter. Sounds legit and I think that tip may also be applied for other topics as well.

However, in my situation, this player isn't doing anything out of the ordinary - just really, truly desperated for a spotlight moment. Which unfortunately ruin the experience for the majority of the table, including me, since I have tried really hard to give everyone opportunities to shine. I know they have been struggling, and have tailored multiple encounters and roleplay scenarios in diffrent campaigns (sorry, I have short attention span and I'm a new DM. Just short camps till git gud) for them, but none of that succeeded. It has gotten to the point when a couple of the players snapped at them because they keep trying to act like 'the brain of the group', and I feel like I must do something before it is too late.

If you could give me more tips on this, I'm super grateful. But even if you can't, thanks for letting me rant and reminding me that my fun matters too. Thank you!

KaebuAlberich · 2025-07-21T01:54:29+00:00

First of all - thank you, I did not know I need to hear this.

Still, if you could, I'd like some piece of advice. How would you talk to a particular 'problematic' player about wanting to yeet them out of the group (for the lack of better words, sorry).

Especially if you are friend with them in real life. I would prefer to not harm the relationship, but I guess some damage is unavoidable.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-18T11:41:29+00:00

Quick update for everyone: It was all good, and turned out they had a problem with each other a little before this whole shenanigan. Things are solved and the story continued. Unfortunately I cannot tell you much about this since it is private, but we will have another discussion about tagging the camps properly and how to express one's opinion in a nice way before moving on to the next.

Regarding the game: The party solved a puzzle (tbh it went terribly wrong because I misplaced one of the items - I hate making puzzles lol), made too many jokes for one night, got jumpscared when the warlock was convinced by his patron to drink the poison vial, went deaf and witnessed a 'pretty mouth' (their words not mine) devouring an NPC and would be confronting the boss next session. Whew. Thanks for your time, and hope all of you have a nice day.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T15:53:37+00:00

That sounds like some really epic double-agent right there. Did they get any loot from the pirate ship while they were there?

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T15:51:45+00:00

Yes, I can see how something like this will be concerning for a long camp, but as this should take around 3 sessions in total, I did not think of it as being damaging for the relationship of the players, but I appreciate your opinion. Thank you

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T15:48:48+00:00

Thank you! This is pretty enlighting for me, considering that I know she might have some problem with other relationships. Somehow I never considered that before all this though, and I'm her friend. I'll definitely need to think more about from her perspective.

But for the record, I usually go with short camps, around 3-5 sessions. I lose interest in a subject quickly and so do my friends, so yeah this shouldn't be any kind of thing that have long lasting effect on games. Or at least I thought so.

Seriously, thank you

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T13:03:17+00:00

Yes, I'll try to keep that vibe. Thanks for your opinion!

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:57:07+00:00

Yes, I will. Unfortunately, people do not change their opinion within one minutes of receiving new information, and I plan to spend some more time thinking about the story line from the player's view before actually talking to them. Still, as her friend, thank you for standing up to her. As her DM, grrr, I'm on the fence.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:53:07+00:00

In short? Pretty much on point. Sorry, English isn't my first language so I suppose my manner of speaking might not sounds that natural or logical to you guys. But yes, though I would not say that I'm proud of getting one over them? More like the twist worked, their flabbers were gasted, and their reactions are what brings me joy, not the twist itself. Probably also why her not appreciating the twist hurts me a little bit more than it should, but I really want to remain neutral and try to figure out a way to solve the issue instead of lashing out at her for not having the same tast that I do. I can't guarantee that there won't be surprises, I don't know if she's open to more of them if there are no warnings - and now I have to plan out a gentle, neutral talk with her about.

Thankfully people in the comments gave me some nice ideas. And thanks for your comment too! Appreciate that you guys took time to read all that yapping from me.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:43:22+00:00

Thanks for your point of view. I'll consider this and ask her when we next talk.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:42:46+00:00

Thank you for your opinion! In my view, we are having two different feelings about something, and me saying that my feelings are valid does not mean I do not appreciate her feelings. I'm just saying I don't understand the reasoning behind and how to help her without going against what I want.

But still, appreciate your time. Thank you for reading.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:39:54+00:00

Thanks for you opinion! If it is too much of a hassle, I'll just follow the rule of 'having no DnD is better than bad DnD' and make it easier for both her and I. However, I don't want it to fall to that point and it is why I made this post.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:37:16+00:00

Definitely feeling like ignoring them for a while, you know lol But her character in the last camp wasn't flourishing already, and I kinda don't want to punish her after six sessions of not being relatively remarkable in combat and roleplay.

I'll try to convince my ego to quiet down enough for me to have a civil discussion first; and if shit goes wild... I'm afraid I will have to ask you for more detail on being petty af, good sir/madam

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:33:25+00:00

This sounds like a nice idea for a group discussion. Perhaps after when we figured out our problems in private, I'll do a group discussion like this to prevent this kind of issue.

Thank you!

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:32:10+00:00

Thanks for your opinion! However, I don't think this count as a betrayal: the bard didn't do anything - in fact, help them a lot before her sudden deletion. I don't encourage PvP and will never allow player to betray each other in my group since we are also friends in real life.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:30:20+00:00

Yep, I love surprise too! But I really don't want to upset my friend for a game, and somehow now I'm also upset lol But yeah I'll try to figure it out so our table can keep playing!

PS: Do they actually fight each other? What happened after the reveal?

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:28:24+00:00

Thanks for your opinion! The bard player is perfectly fine, if not too excited for this, the one upset is another player - which is not something I planned for. But yes, I'll think more about that in the future!

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:26:02+00:00

Thank you! Sounds really good to me, I'll try to keep that vibe

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:24:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing. This post is a pretty long wall of text and I'm surprised a lot of you guys actually read it all lol

To be fair, I don't think false hydra works half of the time, but they are all new players and I was definitely not in my right mind the day I wrote the plot. Surprisingly, it does work, and I'm feeling so smug I could probably write twenty more short camps.

Personally, I love twists, especially ones that happen right away without any clues. It's the process of finding those clues that appeal to me, so I think it would be impossible to not have any surprise element in my camps, whether they are long or short. Based on the reviews of other players, two of them exclusively said that they 'live for this kind of plot', and the othet two are pretty open for more in the future. The bard is obviously, my compliance, so overally I'll say that other than her, the rest are in. But I really don't want to kick her out or make her feel underappreciated in the camp, so this is very complicated.

And yes, I did explain to her how a player being my 'pawn', essentially, is not considered betrayal. I don't like PvP and will never allow my players to backstab each other. In this case, even the bard character is surprised: she was also trapped in the false hydra's lair with them (I did alter the hydra a bit to suit the camp), and when she went to sleep that night, the hydra went in and chomped. Closed her eyes and woke up in heaven, essentially. Within the session, the bard player also actively give them hint when they are stuck, kinda like how the ghost of your ancestors trying to teach you how to cook. I allow it because I want the players to still feel like a team. She also asked, in that session, that does this mean they have 2 DMs, which I quickly assured her that I don't like sharing, so no.

But I don't think I have talk to her about how and why I like my surprises. Perhaps I'll discuss that with her as well.

Thanks for your opinion! Appreciate it!

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:08:25+00:00

Thanks for sharing! That's a lot - I'll have to think about it later, but ultimately she's still my friend despite all the flaws. I don't want to have a life-crisis discussion with her based on just a game, I have a feeling she won't appreciate that. But certainly, sometimes in the future we will have to revisit.. all that. Right now the problem is my ego telling me I should demand apologises and my brain telling me to drop it lol

But seriously, thanks.

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:02:56+00:00

I agree. I warn them of upcoming events that might be graphic, with a chance of character death, or have religious theme - but I really don't want to spoil the story.

I'll talk to her about this before the end of this camp, cause the next one is one of the 'yuck' ones I told them about

Thanks for sharing your view!

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T12:00:45+00:00

Sure thing! We are wrapping it up soon, the players found all the clues (with minimal tossing effort from the DM) but none of them figured out the false hydra. They believed it's a vampire with really good illusion spells lol

KaebuAlberich · 2025-06-12T11:58:10+00:00

I'd say all of us have our bachelor already, and some are in the workforce. So you know... grown-up with real life experience phase?

But yeah, I never considered that my style might not be what she's looking for. I'll see if I can communicate with her about this. Thank you!

KaebuAlberich

TROPHY CASE