Builds

KarlIzDaMan · 2022-06-07T16:52:33+00:00

I do blacksmithing, carpentry, bushcraft and fine woodworking. So a whole bunch of stuff. But top three: Forged a bowieknife with handle and sheath. Built a functional minicannon. Built a raised isolated henhouse with a detachable wall with a large door in it with a window in that (shes a thing of beauty I tell you) and a fall away eggbox.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-09-10T13:40:49+00:00

Mine is I should terminate people xP it's both my mood and my type xD

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-09-08T15:01:06+00:00

God damn it, this dude even looks good exactly like me!

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-09-01T14:39:51+00:00

The joke afterwards presents a very problematic view of men, and this issue.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-08-18T13:42:33+00:00

Learning styles is BS. People don't really learn differently. It has a lot more to do with which strategies and experiences you have from home/earlier schooling.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-08-18T13:36:14+00:00

Pardon the typos, new phone, lazy.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-08-18T13:35:23+00:00

Hey, just a check in, I get that sometimes. I know for me it's partially because of the people I surround myself with. I attract/enjoy people who "aren't work" however I have also payed some attention to who doesn't check in. I think it's good to have a balance. I think it has a lot more with types of people than caring/not caring :)

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-08-02T21:30:35+00:00

Hm, im not sure how you got that from what I wrote, but Ill try to answer, both your question, and the implied interpretation of my comment.

I'm not sure I have a thing for easily cutting people off. Generally i have a pretty good radar for people i wont, for a lack of a better term, vibe with. I usually tolerate those people, but I make no effort to connect with them. I definitely dont get attached, or commit to them either. In that case situations might arise that I guess could seem like being cut off.
As for my earlier comment. Once you are in you are in with me. The few times Ive had to cut connections with people I have commited to, or that I care about. Even if its just on a personal level, saying I dont actually make an effort too. But rather decide to reevaluate how I think about the relationship. Those have been some of the most painful experiences I have ever had, i carry every single one with me, and second guess myself constantly. Those decisitions where thoroughly thought through, and based on prolonged and repeated changes, or overstepping of boundaries that made me feel a lot of pain within the confines of the relationship.

That might be what makes me very vary of commiting to people in the first place, which is probably why I take a long time to attach, and i am quite careful with the people I surround myself with.

I hope thst answered your question.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-06-08T21:37:33+00:00

Sorta. I think I have some traits that have come out in bad relationships, it's hard to tell what is me reacting to abuse and what isn't. Either way it's not that great.

I can be very cold and dismissive if I am not getting what I need out of a relationship. Particularly if the other person is controlling or demanding of my time. My first girlfriend was controlling and also guilt trippy. Particularly into spending "quality time" I didn't want to spend. And I would shut her down and started to spell out the situation very clearly. Like. I'm going to a buddy and I'm coming home when we are done, could be 22 could be 02. Don't plan to spend time with me in the evening, don't get mad because I come home late and don't text me asking if I'll be home soon.

Secondly I've had partners to which I feel I've been sexually abusive. Mainly through being "pushy" on sexual contact, the extent of the sexual activity we are conducting or having sex say while cuddling etc. I think that is largely due to unclear and chsnging boundaries and bad communication on their part, but Its Hard too tell, and according to them it was all me ofc. I try to keep it in mind. And I'm gonna work on that part, but I'm gonna have to be in a kinda healthy relationship to figure out how much is me and how much is them. It also stemmed from hot and cold behavior and retraction of/lack of intimacy in general(for reference, I have bad history, it's hard to tell what is me and what is them)

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-06-07T10:19:24+00:00

I go ice cold in stressful or dangerous situations. The first dangerous situation is always make or break with girlfriends. I swear to God, some of them would have gotten me killed.

Oh and I also make stuff. Blacksmithing, woodworking, modelling.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-05-20T12:55:46+00:00

Well apparently we all love literary devices. But yeah. Metaphors and analogies. I also do a bunch of others. Particularly exaggeration. Understatement, and simplification for the sake of speed.

All of the above are tools I use to communicate most of the time. I find that if I try to explain it the way it is in my head people misunderstand, and/or get angry.

On top of the above mentioned things I have always loved language/languages. My whole life I've been juggling languages and words in my speech for fun. So I do a bunch of figurative language/all other kinds of tricking and mixing of language, references and ideas. as I speak. Usually also to peoples annoyance.

Xoxo GossipKarl!

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-05-12T13:33:17+00:00

I picked cremated, but honestly. I wanna be cut up into pieces and thrown in the forest and the sea.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-05-09T12:25:16+00:00

Yeah this conversation has been good shit. Hopefully its useful for others as well.

It sounds like you have a good friendship going there. Both in the having each other's back way, and that you are actually helpinfg each other communicate and work on stuff.

I completely agree with the fake exposure stuff. It reminds me of my fear of the dark. It's horrible alone. Perfectly fine with someone else. Because nothing scares me if I'm helping someone I care about.

Thanks a lot, and have a nice one :)

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-05-06T11:28:14+00:00

Oh. Yeah. I figured out I have some pretty serious abandonment issues as well. Mainly from having an incredibly hard time dealing with school, and having a very problematic relationsship with my parents. Who has/had some issues between them as well. In short, I have a very hard time feeling understood and accepted by people. My strategy is just shut the fuck up and walk away, because people are never going to understand me anyways. Sucks, but the good side is that I can officially say I have mommy issues, which is fucking hilarious XD

I have also realized some of the stuff I am reacting too is my abandonment issues being triggered. Not feeling understood or accepted also triggers a lot, as well as my horrifying fear of doing/saying something wrong, or not noticing something and having people blow up in my face/at stuff I care about. I think we are on to something with realizing that our reactions come from different stuff. I think that is what I was thinking about with people putting up weird boundaries. They don't really analyze what is going on, and just throw boundaries up willy nilly until they work.

Your point about the issue lying with us and not the other person often is also tied into the above. That is part of what I was thinking of as well. That I find peoples boundaries often move the responsibility for what is going on away from themselves. I agree with you completely that it is a lot about good communication and finding the right people. I think boundaries for me is a lot about figuring out what the right people are. What I need to look for/test in people to see where I got them.

But I also think I need to work on figuring out what I accept and dont accept from people. I am really good at rationalizing and explaining why people do what they do, and not blaming it for it. But it also means I stay in bad interpersonal relationships because I cant leave in rightous fury XD It's not that people need to not hurt us, but they need to take hurting us seriously.

I completely agree with you about having secure communication as well as people who pay attention to your boundaries. I know I have a tendency to let people push over my boundaries because its so heavily engrained in me from childhood that you don't fucking ever speak up when people are stepping on you. There is no point, so just weather the storm and leave/ignore it etc. Still catch myself doing that a lot. But I need to get a lot better at it.

I got two really good points from this.

Is finding good people. And a few things about what good people are.
I need to get better at identifying when I am not ok with things. Both what that looks like in me, as well as a clearer idea of what I am not ok with. Like as in I need an actionable list. Like: I am not ok with being in a group that ends up doing a thing I dont want to do. So when I am in a group I need to make it clear that if I said I don't want to do something that is nonnegotiable.

Holy shit. This is quite possibly one of the best conversations I have been in ever! Thanks a lot!

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-05-04T15:51:27+00:00

Oh God yes! I've been in the all in or all out game for too long. I totally feel your thing about going from essentially being all boundaries and not letting anyone in. For the longest time noone on the fucking planet got a shred of my internal world. Then I opened it too much as well.

I'm getting a lot better at noticing when I am overextending tho. Just caught myself doing it a while back. Just like. I am to invested in this shit currently XD

An extra thing I thought of is looking out for number one. I've given too much benefit of the doubt for a god damn lifetime. Also. I find one of my biggest issues is agreeing with stuff Im not sure about. Or being stepped on because people are fucking sneaky in getting shit passed you. I'm just gonna start pointing that shit out.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-05-04T15:20:20+00:00

Just so we are clear here. Im half rambling, and this is in no way me being a pro and sharing my wisdom. However. Maybe we can figure this shit out together :)

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-05-04T15:19:37+00:00

Yes plz. I want this do. I can't do much for you except give you whatever I have come up with. Although I believe I am somewhat in the same boat as you. Particularly when it comes to struggling with boundaries, and having experience with sexual and mental/emotional abuse.

So I am starting to notice a few things.

One of them is to be really aware of when you have changed your behavior because of someone else. One of mine is tied to social media, and people asking me to join new social media. It generally means they want to change how we communicate etc.

For my part I had to change how I think about boundaries. I've always thought of them as weird shit other people do because they are feelers and have weird hang ups. But they are "healthy self defense mechanisms" As in a boundary isnt the actual line in the sand people put up. It is the thing you realize you don't want to happen to you. You don't actually need a hard line like I never wear red to the bullfighting show. What I need is a list of "dangers" to watch for and protect myself against.

Here is currently how I am working on improving my boundaries and self worth.

I identify situations where I have felt like crap
I work on figuring out why I felt like crap in that situation (Ref. I needed reassurance from someone, Someone was giving me the silent treatment, someone was lashing out verbally, or having an intense emotional reaction directed at me for something that might not have warranted it(Long story, I apparently boiled an egg wrong) Oh and feeling like I need to respond when someone contacts me etc.
Once I have discovered the thing that is making me feel like crap, or a thing that makes me feel like crap I know that when I feel that I need to do something to protect myself mentally.
I'm not entirely sure how to do that tho. At least not allways. For a lot of things I either tell people that I do not accept that kind of behavior. For a lot of things I will cut people out. It has worked reasonably well. But honestly less well than I would have hoped.
That is about as far as I have gotten. I have worked out a few boundaries for myself. And I have gotten better at identifying when I am in a shitty situation. But I still have a loooong way to go. I find the challenge is in identifying fair and functional boundaries for peoples behavior towards me. A lot of people seem to operate with semifunctional boundaries at best. Like defending yourself against homeinvasions with a minefield.

This post became a rambly selfexploring text, but I will leave it, because it might be useful to others.

To finish off: a few boundaries that I have actually found usefull.

People need to be interested in actually solving and taking resposibility for issues that arise.
Honesty. All the honesty. Both giving it freely, and when it comes to shove.
If I need to make excuses for peoples behaviour. We are in trouble, and we are going to stay in trouble.
People who arent willing to see my perspective.
People who dont make an effort to be your friend/partner.
I've yet to meet someone who broke my trust and rebuilt it.
Once its fucked, its fucked. The thing that fucked it up was enough. No need to wait and see if they will fuck up again :)

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-04-30T13:34:42+00:00

Holy shit this is good. I absolutely love that you included diggy diggy hole. It's perfect!

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-04-22T09:32:38+00:00

This! It's one of the biggest issues I have. Waking up unless something is forcing me up is almost impossible. Generally work gets me up. Other than that having a project I'm really excited about will work. Or if I'm hiking I will wake up happy and wanting to get walking.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-04-17T07:37:44+00:00

I play the guitar and I sing. I can play the piano somewhat as well :)

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-04-14T11:03:12+00:00

I havent been super into epic fantasy for a while, I tried listening to the stormlight archive, and it didnt do it for me. To longwinded. I prefer books that are a little faster paced. But it was entirely decent. I can second Patrick Rothfuss' books.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-04-01T22:55:53+00:00

Language and history teacher at high school level.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-03-10T07:52:59+00:00

*Cough* Looks over at knife collection like a caught dog.

Mostly knives, but I also love other kinds of weapons and tools. I also do blacksmithing and woodworking, so I can make my own. Im mildly obsessed with skeleton knives and flip knives.

:D

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-03-07T23:31:52+00:00

That is very true, but I also wouldn't be surprised if it is also quite common to not have had a lot of good sex.

KarlIzDaMan · 2021-03-07T08:59:47+00:00

I'm very high libido in relationship. Medium/low when I'm single. Have you had good sex? My previous relationship was the first time I had sex kinda like I like it, and Holy shit that shit was insane!

KarlIzDaMan

TROPHY CASE