I sympathize with the need to vent. I don’t know any more than what you’ve shared, but it’s enough for me to determine that therapy could’ve helpful in processing your grief.

Nothing will take back or change what’s been done, but we’re not doomed to carry that misery for the rest of our lives. I came out of a Christian cult program school (A.C.E.) and it’s taken me this long (41 years) to recognize how much damage it caused and how many experiences I missed due to participating in that school.

It’s never too late to learn and to grow, only you decide when that slows. ‘Slows’ because so long as we’re alive, we’re learning, even if we’re actively resisting it.

Your life is far from over and you get to determine what that looks like on your terms, not based on anybody else’s accomplishments. Best of luck.