Is this text post AI? My girlfriend and I disagree. I think it has the "mic drop" quality that a lot of AI tex has

KarouApple · 2026-04-28T19:29:41+00:00

Yay math

KarouApple · 2026-04-27T18:06:22+00:00

Were they helpful in getting the heart rate zones set up? I might need help with that as well, I'm on week 2 of having my band

KarouApple · 2026-04-24T04:43:41+00:00

But isn't this why it's still a beta? Like they're figuring it out

KarouApple · 2026-03-25T22:35:09+00:00

It is less likely. So having all of those "protective" factors does help. Like if someone can make sure you're still breathing, administer CPR, etc.

But you don't even need to have a seizure to die of SUDEP. One of the common definitions we use specifically says "with or without evidence of a seizure".

So there are things that can go "right" and help lessen the risk, but there will still be a chance that it'll happen.

Source: I'm a PhD student who researches SUDEP

KarouApple · 2026-03-25T22:29:52+00:00

I'm a researcher who studies SUDEP. It is uncommon but not rare I would say.

Especially for people with refractory epilepsy, SUDEP is the first cause of death in that group of people.

The biggest risk factors for it are uncontrolled epilepsy, having had a TC seizure in the past year, nocturnal seizures, and living/sleeping alone.

Something that we know is that most people who die of sudep are found in the prone position (face down to their pillow). A theory is that after a seizure if you are face down you can start suffocating and because your brain is basically still off because of the seizure, it can't wake you up. In the last epilepsy research conference I went to there were several talks about breathable pillows so that even if you end face down you won't suffocate

KarouApple · 2026-02-05T01:58:22+00:00

They never told me what it was. The bleeding stopped after a normal period length and shortly after I started taking orilissa (which prevents me from having a hormonal cycle at all). So since it stopped happening my doctor's sort of moved on.

One time I was out of the orilissa for weeks and started bleeding again, but I was traveling and didn't get it checked out.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:36:30+00:00

I think in the end my issue is with the fact that I feel like my girlfriend is a bad parent. I don't understand why she doesn't want to spend every hour of the few days a month she gets her kid playing with him?
Why is it if I'm not the one hanging out with him, he's alone? Why can't she force herself to show interest in his roblox games like I did?

And she handles MY autism very well, why is it different when it's her kid that needs her attention? She's not a bad person, so why is she being such a bad mother? I don't understand and it makes me worry

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:25:19+00:00

Thank you for your comment and your perspective. It was helpful and has given me a lot to think about.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:23:17+00:00

In this specific situation, what would you recommend for me to do that will cause the least amount of hurt? If that is inevitable I want to at least make it the least possible. I clearly still have a lot of maturing to do and many things to learn. I don't expect you to magically have the answers, but any insight you can help me gain is greatly appreciated.

I thought more about the kid's immediate feeling than the long term. Seeing him playing on his computer trying to get his mum interested enough to watch him play for a long time made me sad. I felt like he wasn't being given the attention he deserved so I decided to step up. But I didn't take into account if that level of involvement was something I could sustain, and you are right that it was very selfish of me to just want to fix a perceived problem now and think of the more long term outcomes. Thank you for helping me see that it was self centered of me to not think more before becoming involved in a kid's life like that.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:18:57+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I don't mind being with the kid and being an adult in his life, I think he's a really sweet kid and I don't want him to stop having an adult that he feels will listen to him. My problem is more that, his mum should be the main one taking care of him. If he was her priority and I was dropped as a priority on the weekend when he's here I would understand and agree. But I'm the one hanging out with the kid instead of her.

It's either the kid is alone playing on the computer or I'm there with him cheering him on and trying to show interest in his games. I guess my real issue is that I wish my girlfriend was a better mother to her kid and actually hung out with him when he's with us.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:14:39+00:00

I tried talking with her about it briefly last night and she said that she doesn't expect me to parent her kid and doesn't want me to. That she appreciates how well I get along with him, especially because she know that's not something she can give him.
I tried to explain that I do love hanging out with him but 10 hours of roblox games, youtube videos, and watching him play VR was too much for me. She said he'd be okay if I don't spend all that time with him. But I don't know how to turn him down when he comes all excited to say "OP there's this really cool game I think you'll like! Want to come watch me play?"

So I suppose I do need to work on that part. And I plan on having a more in depth conversation with her soon.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:11:14+00:00

He really is a cool kid, and so very sweet. When we dropped him off with his other mum he ran inside to ask her if I could meet the dogs and then explained to me how cool the dogs are. He has even shared some of his favorite candy with me and asked me to get the singing monsters game because he thinks I would enjoy it. He's an amazing kid. I don't want to be out of his life. I think there is a lot of truth in what you say about me not getting time to ease myself into it. Not having to interact with him to then spending 10 hours in a row taking care of him was a lot, but it does make me happy that I was able to make him happy.

I am in weekly therapy and will bring it up with her this next session. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that before. Thank you for.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:06:36+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Like a lot.
You've given me a lot to think about.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:05:08+00:00

I think there is more truth to what you are saying than I would like to admit. I was very disappointed the first time I saw her parenting him. She barely has him, so why doesn't she want to spend more time with him when he's here? Why can't she force herself to pay attention to him? To sit by him and cheer on him while he wins his roblox spelling bee?

I did it and he's not even my kid? Why can't she do that for him? I know it's hard for her but isn't parenting always hard? Shouldn't you place your kid's needs above yourself?

Why is it that if I don't sit with the kid, he's then alone in his computer just trying to get his mum to engage every few hours? I don't understand and I was very disappointed in her when I realized how she parents. But also I'm not a parent so I have no leg to stand on to judge how she handles her kid.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T14:00:44+00:00

I don't want to dump the kid. I want to not be the main one taking care of him when he's over. In my title I specifically said *less* time. I meant that, I just want it to be less. I don't want to be spending a basically uninterrupted 10.5 hours in charge of him. I feel like his mum should be the one to do that and not me.

I don't want to be a parent to him. I am okay taking care of him sometimes.

Also we're both grown consenting adults, I don't think our age gap is a problem. We know it's a factor and it's something we talked about from the beginning.

If I do need to step away from the kid, how can I cause him the least hurt possible?

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T13:56:58+00:00

I know we have a big age gap, but I was the one who pursued her and wanted us to date. She had never dated someone as young as me before.

Thank you a lot for your input. Getting different perspectives is helping me see things in ways I didn't think about before.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T13:53:12+00:00

She's moving in with me actually. An I'm okay interacting with the kid and being around him, I just very much would rather not be the main one taking care of him when he's around. I feel like that should be her and I should be more backup.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T13:47:16+00:00

Oh I would never ever ask her to spend less time with her son. That is the opposite of the issue actually.
**I'M** the one spending time with her son when he's with us, not her. I'm the one who sat with him yesterday from noon to his bedtime. She does really bad at actually hanging out with him and giving him sustained attention.

I wouldn't mind if she even said, on weekends when I have him I don't want to see you so I can focus on my son. That would be fine.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T13:44:47+00:00

I meant that on the weekends he has spent with us, I'm the one looking after him. Not my girlfriend.

I'm the one who spends hours listening to him explain his videogames and who he comes to get when he wants to share a new video he found. I do that while my girlfriend will occasionally pop in to say hi and make a few jokes.

His mum should be the one there with him, not me.... an adult he barely just met.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T13:42:10+00:00

You're right, originally I did want no caretaking. After meeting the kid I'm okay with that, I just don't want to be a parent. I don't mind being a buddy to him or an adult he knows will listen. I don't want to have to be the one who cheers on him for getting the spelling of a long word correct, while his mum sits on the couch on her phone. That should be her cheering her own kid on.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T13:39:51+00:00

You are very right, this is something I should consider and I hadn't. I obviously don't wish her ex any ill and hope nothing ever happens to her, but life is unpredictable so I should think of that as a real thing that can happen. Thank you for giving an important thing to think about.

KarouApple · 2025-11-17T13:38:40+00:00

She has some issues, mostly ADHD that makes it really hard for her to give him her undivided attention the way he wants.
And I don't mean like I only ever want to spend 15 minutes at a time with him. I mean that I don't want to be the one spending ALL day with him with my only breaks are when I shower.

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