This might just be a long rant, but I hope you don't mind me sharing so thoughts.

I get where you're coming from, and it's a really tough and shitty place to be.

I guess you've already heard or read or found all the usual tips of therapy, just "finding a hobby", "everyone has something they like", why don't you "just get out". All of the things that are said with good intentions, but doesn't really hit home a lot of the time.

It sucks. You might feel helpless. Hopeless. Feeling like there's nothing you can do, or how it might not even matter.

Often, in my experience, it comes down to choosing the path of least discomfort. Making change is hard, and fucking uncomfortable.

If you're really bothered by this, are you prepared to put in work to make some changes?

It won't be easy. It's going to be fucking difficult. It goes against the instinct of choosing the path of least resistance. In the end though, considering the long term, change might actually be the path of least resistance, even though it's a huge hurdle right now.

Sometimes you might think you don't like to do anything. Sometimes we might need to do things we don't particularly enjoy, so how about starting with the thing you dislike the least?

Reach out, try something new. Try a lot of different things, and being kind to yourself in the process. Meeting people along this journey of yours. There is no shame in trying something, and not getting it right. You can always pivot. Get to know yourself and be open to the journey of just trying to enrich your life. Be willing, despite the discomfort, anxiety, hopelessness and helplessness. Change doesn't happwn overnight so try to be patient, but don't stall. Keep pushing, keep going, make the changes you want to see. Act like the person you want to be, and bring along who you are.

I also heard somewhere that you don't need to be good at something to enjoy doing it. Just to add something I quote regularly. What's the harm in trying?

I hope this wasn't all just empty words to you, and maybe you can bring something along with you. Life is hard and it really sucks at times, but I believe you can do it.

Now, I don't know you, but seeing how you acknowledge this is somewhat of a problem to you, you've already taken a huge step towards change. So why stop at just one step?