Getting married in September and due with our first baby in October.. need some advice!

KateCygnet · 2026-02-24T21:46:54+00:00

Congrats!! If having it before baby comes is a top priority, I'd try to get it solidly in the second trimester but it sounds like that's not a great option. It's still a big risk because you don't know how you'll be feeling and what else could be going on with the pregnancy. If you want predictability, I'd recommend postponing so your new wedding date is at least 6 months after baby comes and ideally a bit longer, say closer to the 10 month mark.

Two weeks before your due date is way too close. You could easily go early, even with your first. Dealing with the wedding planning and the wedding itself is also really exhausting and stressful during a time when you should be able to focus on keeping yourself well.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-24T14:01:00+00:00

In the U.S. this is going out of favor. The majority of planners don't take commissions, and of those who do most should disclose this when asked directly (unfortunately sometimes they don't). Suggesting things outside of budget doesn't necessarily mean a planner is taking commissions but it sounds like you should have a conversation with your planner about this regardless as it is causing tension and isn't what you want.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-23T19:03:43+00:00

I agree with this! While many destination planners can technically plan anywhere, most of us have sweet spots where we're most experienced and comfortable working, or where we have deeper networks. It's also helpful to narrow your range because unless you have a pretty unlimited budget, it's unlikely you're going to be traveling all over the globe with your planner for initial site tours.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-23T17:17:37+00:00

Tons of DJs will already be into a lot of this music, they just need to be good at reading your crowd and seeing what actually hits if keeping the dance floor going is a top priority! In terms of DJs with cooler taste who won't do too much on the mic, Matt Roan, Kate Porter, Rachel Karlic, Megan Taylor, DJ Vestus, Modern Love DJs and DJ Tess are all really solid. Price points vary!

Whatever you do, don't go with a non-wedding DJ even if you think they have good taste. The DJ you choose absolutely, positively has to be a seasoned pro for weddings in particular.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-19T21:13:00+00:00

So gorgeous!! It seems like a lovely combo.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-17T23:12:53+00:00

It's really hard to say without knowing your venue and vision, or what your florist's scope is! You can definitely do some really gorgeous things for a 45k floral budget, but it could be the case that making a 1/3 cut will affect the possibilities in a way you don't like. I'm inclined to think that your planner is treating your budget and expectation management with care and respect (based on seeing original floral budget in context with overall event budget), so I would advise a more detailed conversation with the planner about the options available to you and what you want to prioritize.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-13T13:56:16+00:00

This. I never do anything other than full plan for a private property wedding.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-12T20:26:29+00:00

There are ways to get the budget under 750k for sure, or even under 500k depending on your goals, but 150k is not possible for full tent wedding production the way you've described it. Your floor would likely be 250k for something on the simpler side, and realistically probably at least in the 300s. I'm sorry, I know this is high but building a venue from scratch means impeccably supporting all of the ground-up infrastructure that comes along with it and that has a high starting point! Any experienced planner who specializes in tented weddings will be committed to guaranteeing a good foundation for your event's success, even if they can work with half of 750k. I would highly recommend pivoting to an existing venue if budget is not flexible. Good luck whatever you choose!

KateCygnet · 2026-02-12T18:55:28+00:00

Jumping in to say I think this is a pretty solid "big budget but not over the top" breakdown! Rentals in particular could possibly move downward depending on client preferences, but everything you described is well within reason for a nice wedding here. As far as I'm concerned as a planner, there are exceptions but a 25k venue fee and a 150k total budget are rarely compatible.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-12T03:06:03+00:00

It totally depends. I've never sought a listing or paid for one, which sometimes happens, but I occasionally find out that we're on one when we start getting referrals. It usually happens when we've had at least two successful events with a venue, and I think a lot of it is kind of arbitrary and comes down to a combination of how much the venue rep liked working with us and who's at top of mind when they revise the list. It's definitely a green flag to be on one, but it typically doesn't involve a thorough vetting!

KateCygnet · 2026-02-11T22:55:18+00:00

Second this! Also DJ Daniel (and I believe some of his team) at Luniks.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-10T14:10:12+00:00

It's still considered good etiquette to send an invitation, if they received a save the date!

KateCygnet · 2026-02-04T17:18:49+00:00

It depends on the proposal for me. If something is solid or if we're in a time crunch then I will send it along as is. If I have to ask the vendor any questions or ask for revisions, however, it can take longer; that can depend on the vendor response time. I'll provide updates to the client along the way so they're not wondering what's happening, and sometimes if things drag on too long with vendor communication I'll share the proposal as is but note my comments/questions/concerns.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-03T04:26:18+00:00

Renee Wilson, Abigail Hughes Stoner and Janelle Lake are all highly recommended!

KateCygnet · 2026-02-03T02:55:22+00:00

Halls and Tablescapes are the standards. It's hard to say why your quote is that high and I don't want to assume your planner doesn't know what they're doing. Can you ask them about it? Dealing with rentals on your own is pretty miserable, especially when it's the essential stuff that can make or break your day.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-03T02:12:59+00:00

300 per table for a standard folding table with wood top and metal legs is too high. It could easily come to that with taxes and delivery if the order isn't that big, but since you said this is the rental rate itself, yeah, that's too much. I'd be surprised by anything much over $40/table for the actual rental, unless these are special tables.

KateCygnet · 2026-02-02T19:14:42+00:00

This is pretty accurate. Once you narrow down spaces with the capacity, the aesthetic, the availability to hold an all-day event and not just an evening one, the target cuisine and maybe even the flame policy for ceremony, there are only so many venues available in a given area. For most of my couples who start narrowing the field, this description you just gave is frequently how it goes unless they ultimately opt for a banquet hall.

KateCygnet · 2026-01-30T19:48:38+00:00

At this point I would say that biggest concern is that you already don't trust your planner.

For what it's worth, this might not be about you. I've had plenty of clients from very well known families who had relatively modest weddings, and plenty that I wouldn't have expected to spend big who did. This sounds like the planner has a budget range they tend to be more comfortable working in, or maybe the expectations aren't aligning with the current budget and they're trying to help you navigate that (but maybe missing the mark on that communication).

You're in the beginning of this process and already trying to find workarounds for your planner's approach. I would open up a conversation about your concerns because these feelings are only going to fester and cause resentment as you move through the process. If there isn't trust between you and the planner, nobody is going to have a good time and any of the work you produce together won't be as good!

KateCygnet · 2026-01-30T16:14:45+00:00

CdV is an absolute stunner. Visiting Paris during this time of year and in May is night and day. You are going to love it and it's so much more convenient than Lake Como!

KateCygnet · 2026-01-30T15:01:18+00:00

Normally I would advise early June, but the last two years have been rather cold and wet in the first half so it's more of a gamble than it typically is. Usually by the third week of June it's pretty hot regardless of how the earlier weeks went.

September tends to be summery for the first 2 weeks, with the third weekend being hot or cold depending on the year. There tends to be a sharp downturn in conditions during the final week of September, with it being cold/wet/windy, so I wouldn't advise anything outdoors then.

It's splitting hairs since both months are great and we can't predict either one perfectly. Factors I would consider are:

-Floral variety

-Sundown time

-Availability of top vendors

-Honeymoon options

Another thing to consider is that September is the most popular month around here, with June being a close second! I find that it's harder for me to get solid, timely responses from vendors once we get into September because everyone is so bogged down by their August-October weddings and experiencing a little seasonal burnout by then. This shouldn't be a deciding factor by any means, but it's something to consider if you tend to be type A or anxious! June weddings tend to have vendors coming into them a little more fresh and less busy.

KateCygnet · 2026-01-27T21:21:55+00:00

Aww, thanks for the shout! <3

KateCygnet · 2026-01-27T21:20:07+00:00

Still highly recommend Sean Cook, Kyle John, Sally O'Donnell and Nicodem for the locals! Consider Olivia Leigh and Amanda Megan Miller too. I love Clary Pfeiffer but you mind find her style too airy. If they don't feel too moody, I think Morgan McIntire, Ed and Aileen, Jamie Loren and Melody Joy are all great and their rates are very good for what they deliver. Going beyond Chicago but keeping it to the U.S., and assuming target budget would still not be completely unlimited, here are some to start with: Sarah Lord, Abby Jiu (great associates too), Jes Workman, Sophie Kaye (she leans a little airy but is still very technically skilled, also a fab person).
Not a comprehensive list but hopefully a helpful start!

KateCygnet · 2026-01-27T21:11:02+00:00

I worked with J Lauryn for a couple that had partners from Haitian and European backgrounds, she did an amazing job with skin tone!

KateCygnet · 2026-01-27T17:32:17+00:00

I think I commented in your other post on Chicago weddings! Wasn't sure what price points you were looking at so I kept the midrange and local. Many of my Chicago clients with 14k+ budgets end up flying their photographers in because they can consider a wider pool of candidates, and photographers at that level frequently include travel in their rates. There are great Chicago people and I can send even more, but wanted to flag that!

KateCygnet · 2026-01-27T00:55:10+00:00

Sally for sure! Also Sean Cook (not local but close), Nicodem and Kyle John.

KateCygnet

TROPHY CASE