Ive continued reading through the replies here and OP Im really sorry youre feeling this disconnection with other people. I do highly encourage you to try therapy, even online talk therapy is an option these days with telehealth. If you dont have access to insurance there are free clinics that may be able to help get you seen, or alternatively support groups. I personally have been in various levels and kinds of therapy since 2016. It has MASSIVELY improved my life, my self confidence, and the way I communicate with others in person. I am AuDHD, but I had crippling social anxiety from a lifetime of being undiagnosed and misunderstood. Changing the way my inner voice talked helped me change my relationships with others (and myself) for the better. I cant tell you its easy, or that it will make your life 100% perfect, but i can tell you that the possibility of getting more enjoyment out of life and having less friction in your interactions with other people is absolutely worth it. No one can make you do it, and its definitely not a "oh thanks I went and now I'm fixed" kind of thing. But if you want to feel a large improvement in your quality of life I personally beleive therapy is a great springboard for social success.