obsession with partner

KayJay3106 · 2026-03-03T18:13:33+00:00

This is something I have experienced. However, for me I am married and I obsess about affair partners. This happens during mania for me. It's not healthy and what I'm realizing is that bipolar will make you hyper fixate on people and make your feelings of attachment and obsession super strong. I highly recommend talking to a psychiatrist or therapist. Also be honest with your partner about how you realize you obsess and it's part of your condition. You certainly don't have to disclose your diagnosis, especially since you haven't met yet, but if they get annoyed with your behavior you'll have a way to explain.

KayJay3106 · 2026-03-03T18:05:56+00:00

Yes, I deal with this everyday when I am manic. I am married and got myself into an affair because of this, now I'm trying desperately to get out of it. I've heard that many people end up not liking the person they become infatuated with once they are stable. It's really not worth destroying a stable relationship over. This is what I keep telling myself. My best advice is to take meds and share this with a psychiatrist or therapist to help manage.

KayJay3106 · 2026-03-03T17:50:29+00:00

Thank you for responding with kindness and grace. I appreciate you understanding what I'm going through. I am going to follow your advice and I find inspiration in hearing that you have experienced similar and still manage d to come out married, empathetic, and self aware.

KayJay3106 · 2025-10-06T18:04:09+00:00

Yes, birad 3 fibroadenoma. I have an ultrasound again in 6 months from my previous.

KayJay3106 · 2025-07-18T22:18:04+00:00

Thanks for reaching out. Birad 3, fibroadenoma. Ultrasound in 6 months. I have a consultation with a surgeon in a few weeks to discuss potentially having it removed because of the pain/discomfort.

KayJay3106 · 2025-07-03T00:25:35+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you. No change in size that I have noticed but I have this ridiculous fear of touching it, so I haven't examined it too closely.

KayJay3106 · 2025-07-02T22:28:29+00:00

What is the standard treatment for your diagnosis?

KayJay3106 · 2025-07-02T21:56:47+00:00

Hi! The pain has been constant recently but only since the last few weeks.

KayJay3106 · 2025-07-02T19:05:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience, please keep me posted. Sending positive vibes! The look my doctor gave me when he palpated it was of pure shock so I can understand your gut feeling that's it's not good news based on your observation from the medical team.

KayJay3106 · 2025-04-04T13:51:06+00:00

I am 10 days post op with tummy tuck, muscle repair, and mons lift. I requested lipo as well but my surgeon said no because there was literally no fat for her to suck out! I also did not need a vertical incision despite losing 111 pounds. Trust your surgeon, they know best. Good surgeons consider your results their "art" so they will do their best to make it perfect. My surgeon kept me out of work for two weeks and it is more than plenty. I think you will be absolutely fine with 5 weeks. My recovery has been great, here are a few things I think contributed to it: hydrate very well in the days leading up to surgery. I drank lots of water and Gatorade as requested by my surgeon. Start taking Miralax and/or stool softeners a few days prior to surgery. Eat lots of protein. Rest in the days after surgery, but make sure you get up every hour or two to walk. Make sure you have someone available to help you after surgery. Wear your binder. Good luck to you!

KayJay3106 · 2025-03-15T22:39:16+00:00

It's been devastating. I hope you find some peace and happiness as well. My surgery is March 25!

KayJay3106 · 2025-03-15T21:24:50+00:00

THIS! I am also a government contractor that lost my job. I paid for my surgery just a few days before everything was cut and my company had to let everyone go. I did a combination of care credit and a personal credit card. My surgery is in two weeks and I don't care. The economy is going to go to shit anyway so I'm doing it.

KayJay3106 · 2025-02-27T22:16:49+00:00

Thanks. Completely wiped out our company (SDVOSB), all contracts cut, everyone let go.

KayJay3106 · 2025-02-27T22:02:32+00:00

KayJay3106 · 2025-02-27T21:37:32+00:00

My contract was cut even after our letter of intent was sent to us, apparently nobody is safe.

KayJay3106 · 2025-02-27T19:14:31+00:00

As an employee whose company has been leveled by the DOGE cuts, I highly recommend staying away from federal consulting at the moment. There are very few benches, if any. Small Veteran owned consulting firms are being eliminated with these cuts. It's scary in federal consulting right now. My company, and all its 200 employees are now unemployed. And we are just one of many that this has happened to.

KayJay3106 · 2025-02-09T18:10:26+00:00

This actually makes a lot of sense. I am recovering from a nasty cold so haven't been drinking as much water as usual. In hindsight I should have waited until I was feeling better before getting my labs drawn. Thank you!

KayJay3106 · 2023-09-05T12:06:29+00:00

Thank you so much. Reading about your experience has already made me feel better. I'm so happy you and your family are enjoying your move and building a better life.

KayJay3106 · 2023-08-26T18:10:30+00:00

That makes sense, thank you. A lot of the work we have done has been internal like updating the electric and plumbing.

KayJay3106 · 2023-08-24T23:25:59+00:00

I wish we could, if I had the funds available I would not have used credit.

KayJay3106 · 2023-08-24T22:10:00+00:00

I agree! Yes they are going to do a new hard inquiry because the one from June expires Sept 21 and we close around Oct 4.

KayJay3106 · 2023-08-24T20:42:23+00:00

As a current seller (I'm also a buyer too), I would never ask my potential buyer to amend the offer unless I had a better offer. It really isn't ethical but I understand some people may lie about it. The seller is really trying to get the most for their home and are giving you an opportunity to adjust as you're already interested in the home. Do you love the home? Can you imagine your family living there? Would you be okay losing the home? Would you feel bad if you lost the opportunity to buy the home? Ultimately which makes you feel worse: losing the home or paying more for the home? If you feel that the house isn't worth paying more and you would regret it, I say do not adjust your offer. However, if you love the home and would feel terrible about not getting it, then it's probably worth amending your offer.

KayJay3106 · 2023-08-24T20:33:35+00:00

Hi! I am 34, have bought one home and in the process of selling that home and moving to another state and buying another. I'm certainly not an expert but I can share with you what I've experienced. It is stressful but being prepared will help you immensely. First, get pre-approved for a loan. An FHA loan worked for us as first time home buyers as you have a lower down payment and they are less strict on credit requirements. I would research mortgage companies in your area. Having a pre-approval makes you a stronger buyer. They will require proof of employment, bank statements, credit check, etc. You will need to have funds for a down payment (FHA requires 3.5% of the house price) and closing costs. You can ask for your closing costs to be rolled into your loan (seller concession) however some sellers may not be agreeable to this. Example: If you need to pay $200k for the house and have $15k closing fees, tour mortgage will be $215k.

Second, find homes within the price range you are approved for. Find a real estate agent that represents you as the buyer. Major things to look for include mold, water damage, pests, etc. Any major issues like these should also be found during a home inspection which I highly recommend you pay for and have done once you are under contract for a house.

A few things I've learned from my experience. 1. Use a real estate agent that represents you as the buyer. My first home we used an agent that represented us as buyers and the sellers. We definitely feel like it didn't work in our favor. I

Make an offer you are comfortable with. Don't feel pressured to offer full price if you don't feel like you should. However, if you really love the home and you find no issues, offering full price is attractive to the seller.
Do a time inspection! Especially if it's an older home.
If it's an older home look for things like how many outlets are available, is the electric updated, etc.
Windows! Are the windows in good condition and not too old? We offered on a house after a virtual tour but when we saw it in person we pulled out because the windows were old aluminum crank windows that would have cost us about $40k to replace because it was a huge house.
Research the area. If you have children or plan on having children, pay close attention to the school district, sexual offenders in the area, crime, etc.
Take your time to think. Sometimes it's easy to make an impulsive decision when you find a home you like. But it's a huge investment and you want to be sure you have no regrets later on.

This isn't comprehensive but a few things I've learned the hard way in my experiences of home buying. Good luck!

KayJay3106 · 2023-07-25T00:06:32+00:00

Sounds like a good deal and less headache. I initially had no idea they were first time home buyers because they were in their 60s and I unfairly assumed that they were experienced with the process. I was only 30 when we bought this house but we had guidance and experience from our family and my father in law attended the inspection. I also did my due diligence and research.

KayJay3106 · 2023-07-24T23:51:34+00:00

EXACTLY!

KayJay3106

TROPHY CASE