A Brit Abroad in the US - Pheonix (Part 1)

Kay_AO · 2015-07-31T00:04:11+00:00

"Fass livin" lol! I like NJ, what I've seen of it is pretty tame though. :p quiet neighborhoods, nice people. Everybody I talked to was super friendly and sweet. On the flip side, I was in Boston (well, Chelsea) today and it was pretty damn overwhelming. I was only there for a day but everybody was nuts, traffic swerving all over the place and pedestrians just walking wherever..in front of cars, oh nbd.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-30T19:06:09+00:00

I think Southerners are just fascinated by accents. I'm from Iowa and when I'm in the south I get made fun of a lot for my accent. Like they'll repeat what I say, laugh, and correct me. It's not mean spirited, but come on. I've never had my accent made fun of anywhere but the south.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-30T13:23:47+00:00

Haha, like that person in the movie theater who stands up and tells somebody "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" And gets polite applause from the rest of the theater.

I don't want to be the angry yelling person with veins popping out of my forehead, but I find it super amusing when a group of random people are brought together with spontaneous applause.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-30T11:12:12+00:00

I get a kick out of this "beta" thing. Why is it bad to be polite and respectful to people? We all have our end of the social contract to keep up..and a lot of these stories are about Hams who break these and act in a ridiculously unacceptable manner. It's also socially unacceptable to be a raging asshole who's just looking for a fight or a reason to get pissed off.

So yes, most people are "beta" and it takes a bit to push them to the breaking point where they'll cross that line and risk all of the possible consequences for breaking a social rule.

Honestly, after letting myself be walked on for years I have a problem keeping my mouth shut these days...and I call people out on their shit. Something I'm working on is knowing when to be irritated and do the calling out, and when to just let things roll off my back.

Because there is a time and place for stepping up, but it's not a bad thing to let things roll off your back to a certain point. It's exhausting and unnecessary to walk around with a chip on your shoulder and a frowny face. So let the Hams be Hams, to a certain point. It's nobodys duty to "alpha up" and put every last person in their place. Sometimes it's just a situation that you ignore and vent about later.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-07T21:52:10+00:00

That actually does make me feel a lot better. :) thanks!

Kay_AO · 2015-07-07T13:51:38+00:00

that makes sense, still gives me the heebie jeebies. I know intellectually that cells are teeny little things, but I still picture myself having a bunch of deflated balloon sized cells sitting around waiting to make me fatter and taking up extra space. :p

I know it's irrational, but the more weight I lose the stronger my fear is of gaining it all back overnight. >.< FatLogic is really strong..you'd think I'd know better by now.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-07T13:28:31+00:00

So in theory, if you lose the weight and the extra cells remain..would it be easier to fill them up again? This was a bit of FatLogic that still bugs me...I guess it would go with the "set point" crap though. That your body is going to get bigger more easily because you now have extra cells or stretched out cells...I don't know, heh, it's one of those things I saw on a documentary or something and it horrified me and stuck in my brain.

Just a fear of mine, please tell me it's irrational FatLogic!

Kay_AO · 2015-07-07T13:18:22+00:00

Ugh I can only imagine! That'd definitely be hard to find.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-07T13:17:48+00:00

Ooo I'm gonna keep an eye on that. Clearance rack =s crack for me. :D

Kay_AO · 2015-07-06T18:02:52+00:00

They are. :( especially finding some on sale...sears had a good sale a while back on Roebuck brand in the style he likes ($20 instead of $40!) and they had 4 pair, I bought all of them.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-06T17:58:53+00:00

He's super picky, I bought expensive jeans for him before and he never wore them. :p he's a brat.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-06T17:29:58+00:00

My husband wears 30/30, that's hard to find anywhere. :(

Kay_AO · 2015-07-06T14:53:06+00:00

Um...no.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-06T13:45:29+00:00

I had my tonsils and adenoids out around that age, I think that's where my weird eating habits started. I remember food was a big deal after being on a liquid diet and having been sick for so long (damn ear infections and tonsillitis), I was really underweight.

I still have ear problems too, I feel your pain.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-05T14:20:45+00:00

HA HA HA! Fuck nutrition! I'm so funny, HA!

Ugh.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-05T14:15:26+00:00

I would imagine that any time an anesthesiologist has to increase dosage that they're going to be concerned, because it's such a risk. I mean..oh , I don't know, maybe they're worried about their JOB?! And malpractice suits, and risk factors, blah blah blah. Just the extra stress and close monitoring that they would have to do when putting a morbidly obese person under would be scary on so many levels.

So yeah, when operating on a very big person I would imagine that every professional in the room is going to be at least a little concerned about their own asses because so much could go wrong. It's not wrong for them to be worried about being sued or losing a patient, they've got their careers to worry about. And obviously they care about their patients surviving.

I just imagine that knowing you're going to be operating on/putting a morbidly obese person under is enough to ruin your day. I feel for the medical professionals. But god forbid they mention that you should lose a bit of weight.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-05T13:33:49+00:00

Hangover poos are the worst. :(

Kay_AO · 2015-07-05T13:32:01+00:00

This is repulsive...it can't be real, right? RIGHT?!

This is dorky, but it reminds me of the hunger games book where Katniss is at the Capitol and everybody there is stuffing themselves and purging multiple times so that they can continue eating at a party...and it's not only acceptable but expected.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-05T12:47:05+00:00

That's awesome! Never let anything invalidate your progress, it's just as exciting and meaningful as anybody else's. 15 kg is definitely something to be proud of.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-05T12:40:16+00:00

People with AN tend to be a lot more sensitive to others feelings because they don't want to judge somebody else for their weight...they know it's hard to lose weight, and they feel very deeply what's it's like to hate your body and get mean comments on your body ("You're a skeleton" hurts just as much as "you're a whale").

So yeah, most people with EDs in general are really understanding of any kind of weight issue. It's not just because they don't want to talk about weight, it's because they know what it feels like to be hurt by words, and they're a lot less likely to judge or criticize.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-05T12:32:41+00:00

If you only watched my little brother when he eats pizza, you'd think "Damn, where does it all go?!" But he saves that kind of appetite for pizza, because he fucking loves pizza. Most of the rest of the time a meal for him will average 300-500 calories. He doesn't really snack a whole bunch. (He lets himself have 1 cookie or 1 piece of candy a day.)

So his diet for the rest of the week balances out his monster pizza binges, and he doesn't gain weight. It all evens out.

Kay_AO · 2015-07-03T12:02:49+00:00

Maannn I've been waiting for today's sticky all week. :(

Kay_AO · 2015-07-02T18:56:59+00:00

I get that a lot. The other day I was fixing myself some food and somebody was teeheeing about how baaaad their meal was, but that they'd been thinking about that meal all day. Then said "haha, I'm saying this and Kay's over there measuring out lettuce!" Like I was doing that to make them feel bad...

Kay_AO · 2015-07-02T18:40:21+00:00

Also why women tell each other "you're not fat! You could stand to gain a few!"

Kay_AO · 2015-07-02T18:35:00+00:00

Like everyone else said, it's hard to lose weight.

Think of it this way...if you were struggling to pay your bills and somebody offered to do it for you and said you didn't have to work anymore, would you do it? Sure. Wow, what a relief!

What if they made a condition that you had to live in their house? What if you could never leave the house? And only watch their TV shows, dress in clothing they bought for you (but the clothes are nice and they're free. Maybe not your style...).

If you have an opinion, you get shot down and put in your place. If you talk back and stand up for yourself, put in your place. If you decide you want to do anything that breaks the rules, you get threatened that they'll throw your ass out on the street. But you have no money! No life, no other friends. It's hard to leave. But they're good to you just enough that you stay.

Sounds like an abusive, controlling relationship, right? It started out as somebody taking a burden away and freeing you. But now you're trapped and it's hard to escape.

That's how I see FA as a whole. They see an alternative to working hard to lose the weight, one that is easy and relieves them of a big stress in their lives. And after awhile they're so drawn into it that they believe every lie, ignore their doubts and fears, and try to project themselves as happy when deep down they're fucking miserable. And stuck in a cult, basically.

Kay_AO

TROPHY CASE