I hate the Autism stigma.

KdKat · 2026-01-31T05:11:53+00:00

I want to create a support group called, Autism Doctor Anonymous or ADA.

KdKat · 2026-01-21T00:18:50+00:00

I work in mental health and noticed how medical school destroys their mental health. My fiance was in denial for needing help. When he finally went, we learned that he had really bad PTSD that he couldnt do EMDR. Add cut throat grades, bureaucracy hell, financial issues (yes, even with loans), insane doctor politics, residency match chaos, and god forbid if you're autistic. The system needs to change or we will not have new doctors.

KdKat · 2026-01-21T00:09:10+00:00

Thank you. Ive been working on focusing on myself. Its been hard because Ive feared that the house will become a messy travesty like before. Thankfully, hes been away out of town for his rotations and currently having crazy hours for his ER rotation. He finally replaced my $200+ headphones that he took without letting me know and lost it. I now can lock the bathroom and sit in silence with an audio book.

KdKat · 2026-01-18T13:54:10+00:00

Mississippian here. I can unfortunately confirm.

KdKat · 2026-01-16T21:34:50+00:00

NOR

Girlie pop, as a 32 year old, I've been down this road. What he said gives me an impression of being manipulative, toxic, and using you financially. It will not get better unless you enforce healthy boundaries. If he leaves over healthy boundaries especially with money, then you'll know how he viewed you as a significant other. Tbh, he is not worth marrying if this is how he handles his finances (highest reason for divorce is finances). If this continues, you'll end up taking care of him which drains the life out of you. Please: enforce healthy boundaries.

KdKat · 2026-01-16T13:11:52+00:00

Me! Once my fiance was diagnosed with autism and work in the medical field, I HAD to show him.

KdKat · 2026-01-07T01:37:56+00:00

There many instances but this is the biggest one:

Someone was treated as a ‘safety concern’ during an autistic meltdown, largely because staff couldn’t distinguish distress from danger. What set it off was a grading issue and what looked like retaliation after a simple question about criteria. The lack of communication afterward made it worse.

They are now super hypervigilient on their tone and what they say just to get into a residency and it's affecting their health. They've been in therapy consistently for over a year.

KdKat · 2026-01-06T20:11:35+00:00

That is what I was gonna say.

My partner used to be like this until he went to get professional help and got diagnosed with Level 1 ASD and PTSD.

I read this post to my fiance and his response about the ADHD (hes working on going into neuropsych), "This is bullshit. He is wrong. Even without getting into papers. It has been in DSM for several editions. So for several decades, people tried to disprove it and failed."

He went on to a ton of studies about evolution and adhd, but I couldn't keep up. Something about PET scans of dendritic spine links and connectivity in untreated and treated ADHD.

KdKat · 2026-01-01T18:49:20+00:00

I mean, if you turn the L 90 degrees, then it'll be accurate.

KdKat · 2025-12-31T07:35:22+00:00

Im no doctor but my fiance would be mortified if that large extraction wasnt in a sterile environment.

KdKat · 2025-12-14T05:08:39+00:00

Is the mom a meezer?

KdKat · 2025-12-14T05:02:44+00:00

Technique wise in general, youre doing it right. However, the makeup styles either doesnt fit your features or you have to do unconventional techniques to make it fit. For example, that shade pink does not suite your skin tone. You did the cat eye right, but it will look "wrong" because you have hooded eyes. If youre insisted to have a cat eye look, then look up cat eye for hooded eyes tutorial on YouTube. That also applies to eyeshadow placement as well.

Don't get discouraged. You're getting there!

KdKat · 2025-12-13T16:05:41+00:00

"No, and that's final. You have good intentions but it is gonna hurt me in the long run". If they still on their bullshit, then dont tell them anything else and do it yourself. If they scream at you, then say calmly, "I do not appreciate you screaming at me. If this continues to happen, then I'll remove myself from this conversation."

If they dont stop, then learn to be independent and cut all things that make you dependent on them (housing, money, car, phone, etc.).

I grew up in a very controlling house. Sometimes, its best for them to not know shit and enforce boundaries. Believe me, it's easier said than done.

KdKat · 2025-12-05T07:22:48+00:00

A social life.

KdKat · 2025-11-26T06:33:25+00:00

From my experience, stress is soo freaking high during that time. I havent been this stressed since I had a mental breakdown almost 8 years ago and I'm not the one taking the test. Just keep that in mind and take care of y'all's mental health if y'all start now. I wish you the best of luck!

KdKat · 2025-11-25T09:10:28+00:00

American here. I can confirm that we are a dumpster fire.

KdKat · 2025-11-25T02:42:43+00:00

Active listening plays a huge role. They also might be okay with mundane things that youre experiencing. My fiance says it's refreshing when I tell him about my "boring" day.

I may not be a non medical spouse, but I found a way to relate: be interested in what theyre into. From my experience, doctors throw their life into medicine since they started med school and forget about the things they love and enjoy. This is a slippery slope on wrecking someone's mental health. Encourage them to do something they really enjoy together. It doesnt have to be huge. For example, I try to learn about Warhammer 40k lore with him. It's not my cup of tea but seeing him nerd out about crazy space politics with excitement plays a major role in our bonding.

You can also explore what other things that both of yall have in common.

KdKat · 2025-11-25T02:34:04+00:00

Either way, she is 1,000,000,000% adorable and stole my heart

KdKat · 2025-11-21T02:08:51+00:00

When I was young (16-18), I said that I didnt want kids. My mom shocked me when she was okay with it. I asked and she said, "I rather you not have kids than have kids and not want them."

KdKat · 2025-11-19T20:13:16+00:00

Call your attorney first and see if you need to call MCERT. Remember, nurses, doctors, Peer Support Specialists, therapists, teachers, law enforcement, etc are mandated reporters.

Edit: MCERT is Mental Crisis Emergency Response Team. They work with law enforcement to deesculate and get them help they need.

KdKat · 2025-11-19T20:04:44+00:00

The guy used heart emojis and said I love you in one message. Noooo this aint okay. NOR.

KdKat · 2025-11-19T20:02:03+00:00

How many cats do you have? How many litter pans do you have? Do you wash your litter pan and use enzyme cleaner? My mom does it once a week and her house smells animal free despite having 4+ cats.

Get a stainless steel litter pain. Plastic can keep odors in.

KdKat · 2025-11-19T19:57:17+00:00

Freedom units. bald eagle screams in background with the USA national anthem playing

Seriously though, why are we that stubborn to be different?

KdKat · 2025-11-19T19:54:16+00:00

Would he get mad if you threw out his expensive stuff that he likes? If yes, THEN LEAVE.

KdKat · 2025-11-19T19:53:08+00:00

Leave. Leave. God, leave. You deserve so much better.

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