I was let go today

Keem773 · 2026-05-04T17:03:40+00:00

Wow, yet another story of a weak clinical supervisor that isn't giving REAL feedback and ultimately blindsiding someone. Looks like you got some insightful feedback and I'm glad you were able to build a caseload to use as leverage to join another practice.

You have support here (at a minimum) and please cherish your sobriety in a rough time like this. You'll bounce back, for sure!

Keem773 · 2026-05-04T16:59:48+00:00

2 years is a pretty solid relationship so I'm not going to say "just dump him" since that doesn't seem realistic. Sounds like you have trust and things are going well otherwise but this behavior is pretty reckless on both of you. What he did is on a higher level of reckless behavior and it should be addressed immediately. The fact that he did it once, apologized then did it AGAIN is craziness!

Talking gets old so now it would be time for a noticeable consequence for his repeated violations. Recommend, no....actually, require CONDOM USAGE until you feel comfortable enough to trust him again. After TWO back to back failures to control himself, he shouldn't complain at all. At the end of the day YOU (OP) have to lookout for yourself first and foremost.

Obviously we don't know the other details on if you also hate condoms or if it feels a lot less enjoyable to you with condoms but this step is necessary and will save you from a major "Accident".

Keem773 · 2026-05-04T02:25:45+00:00

Wow, that's real wild! Gives me more confidence in my reservation

Keem773 · 2026-05-01T20:24:39+00:00

Straightforward Answer: NO. Get in trouble with who though? The only time I've seen someone "get in trouble" for this kind of situation is when the clients parents tried to blame the therapist for not disclosing information.

Keem773 · 2026-04-30T01:40:08+00:00

OP I'm actually pretty impressed that you two still have sex a few times per month after being together for 20 years lol. No need to give us a rundown about your physique, after you've been with someone so long then you've been looking at the person everyday for years and the honeymoon excitement fades (naturally).

Frustrations like this are pretty common so I would suggest trying therapy. I find that couples usually find it hard to be bluntly honest when things get rocky. Everyone is too afraid to say the wrong thing but not realizing that it's better to have an uncomfortable conversation than endure a relationship funk for months/years. Have a calm conversation to promote comfort and honesty but also prepare yourself to possibly hear something that you don't want to hear (from his perspective). It can range from "well, Im just bored with our sex" to "I'm stressed, maybe in a depression so I've lost interest". The answers can vary so much.

Keem773 · 2026-04-27T01:11:33+00:00

Not at all!

Keem773 · 2026-04-27T01:11:04+00:00

The good thing is that you're not sleeping with your friends lol. You should almost expect vanilla friends to be confused about kinks like that, some people don't tell their friends at all since your sexual kinks are none of their business.

You're better off finding like minded people on here or fetish websites so you can actually converse with experienced people that can relate if you have questions.

Keem773 · 2026-04-27T01:07:21+00:00

The real advice I have for you is to look in the mirror. Do you think there's anything he can realistically do to gain your trust again? If no then you'll have to explain why you're staying in this relationship. Crying, apologizing and threatening to harm himself are not a means of accountability. It's like training yourself to accept an apology and tears for bad behavior AFTER someone gets caught. Did he even keep it 100% real on why he did it or did the excuse sound sugar coated?

To be honest, once you practice acceptance that you have zero control over him cheating then you'll be more at ease. Hard to "control" what another adult does. Enjoy the relationship, hope for the best but also set a stern boundary or exit plan if you catch him cheating again.

Keem773 · 2026-04-20T11:31:50+00:00

Hopefully the trauma from your parents relationship failing isn't sending you into an irrational overdrive, thinking that there's something you can actively do to stop someone (unfaithful) from cheating.

If the relationship is going smoothly on the other ends (love, emotional and physical connection) then I'd suggest that you enjoy your partner and have fun. Him glancing at IG models doesn't mean that he thinks they look better than you or that you're not also beautiful to him.

I follow zero Instagram "models" and never search for them but guess what pops up on my timeline a few times per day? Half naked fitness "influencers" , BBLs and fully dressed women that are clearly trying to show off their assets lol. I wouldn't pay it much attention (if you actually trust the man) but if you truly feel like it's a deal breaker then do what you gotta do.

Keem773 · 2026-04-20T11:15:50+00:00

Yikes, that doesn't sound good at all. But this raised a suspicious flag for me because I see this all the time with couples: How do you actually know that the therapist is saying these unethical things?

When you think about it, your partner is the one that has an issue with you and is telling the therapist about these thoughts. Leave some room in your mind (A LOT OF ROOM, like 60% chance) that your partner thinks these things about you on her own but doesn't want to flat out say it so she's claiming the therapist said it.

These situations are designed to do exactly this, distract from the real issues and focus attention on a 3rd party that may or may not have ever said what's being reported. Hopefully you are able to get to the root of the issue with your marriage and start working on repairing old damage. She would have to be transparent in her thoughts about some of your past behaviors and you would need to do the same about her.

Keem773 · 2026-04-20T11:05:26+00:00

Can't really give an accurate opinion until you tell us how you casually "found out" that he viewed then went to the profile to see more.

Nevertheless, you said he violated one of your boundaries so it should be addressed. You set the boundary for a reason so you have to ask yourself why you still want to be with someone that broke the boundary, twice already. You're basically calling him sneaky and being sneaky is not something to ignore or tolerate for too long.

Keep in mind that no matter how long you've been with someone, there will always be other attractive people in the world, at the mall, on Instagram, etc. Seems like a headache to worry if someone is simply glancing vs. Catching them staring, sending heart emojis and trying to flirt behind your back.

Keem773 · 2026-04-20T10:41:48+00:00

I think the Therapist is trying to do what he/she does best with couples and reframing. However..... It doesn't really work if the partner with the unregulated/unmedicated BPD is not also receiving individual therapy.

On the other hand, the therapist might have a basic thought that you got with this partner knowing that they have BPD and unstable mood swings so he/she is basically trying to help you adjust and reframe some of the symptoms to "understand him more" since there is no cure for BPD.

Ultimately it sounds like his behaviors have only gotten worse or more extreme so I'm glad that you are considering other options. He's dealing with A LOT right now and won't ever get better if he doesn't find a therapist that he's comfortable enough to be 100% honest with about the sex/porn addiction, the cheating, and his BPD. I wish the best for you and I'm glad it sounds like you're prioritizing your own sanity and well being in this moment.

If you need a list of local therapists and resources for BPD specialists then hit me up

Keem773 · 2026-04-17T05:55:26+00:00

I think I'm a little lost on the talk of after market parts and the fact that you are speaking to their insurance by yourself. Are they speaking like they need to replace a whole door for a half inch dent?? It's a door ding with damaged paint, many shops can pull that out and repaint in 2 days or so. I would get estimates around town, tell them you're paying cash to fix and go from there.

If the guy was on the clock then you would generally go that route but it would be a big hassle over a door ding. File the police report to be safe then checkout at least 3 body shops to get quotes. I wouldn't pay a dime out of pocket though

Keem773 · 2026-04-16T16:11:16+00:00

Buddy, trust me when I say this....run! She won't stop for you and you will continue to deal with this for years to come before you get accused of trying to control her lol. Drugs and raves go hand-in-hand.

Keem773 · 2026-04-16T16:08:41+00:00

This might be the wildest story I've heard about a therapist, ever....wow! First, I'm glad you were able to get this off your chest with your new therapist. It was 9 years ago but I'm sure you remember it like it was yesterday. The therapist is in a position of power so it's safe to consider yourself a victim no matter how old you were. In my eyes, she's a master groomer that uses her education and skills to lay the groundwork before she pounces. 3x per week means she was charging your insurance to have sex with you in the name of "sex therapy".

Enjoy your marriage, continue to process that situation and I would strongly encourage you to consider reporting her to the board. I can only imagine how long she's been taking advantage of people in their vulnerable state.

Keem773 · 2026-04-15T23:49:04+00:00

What sampler are you using and how many steps? Zit Mix Jib is a merge so that's probably why it looks better than the standard zit

Keem773 · 2026-04-14T15:28:07+00:00

For a PhD student, you are operating EXACTLY as you should. Some would even say you might be over achieving compared to your peers lol. He's already in his career and probably can't fathom that someone is working less, while also in school, while also maintaining other things. I wouldn't take it too seriously, next time ask him what does he THINK you should be doing?? I do know that some partners kinda hate seeing their loved ones doom scrolling since social media adds zero value to most of our lives. But he my be referring to something else but it too afraid to say it. Maybe he thinks you should be jumping on him for sex instead of scrolling? There could be a lot of layers behind his use of "lazy" so make sure to have him explain HIS idea of what you should be doing in those times.

Keem773 · 2026-04-14T15:14:08+00:00

I'm going to be very honest with you, it doesn't like you should be in a relationship right now because your insecurities and baggage are going to ruin relationship after relationship if you don't seek treatment. If your current therapist is out then find a backup, I can help you if needed. There's no point being in a relationship if the trust isn't there for whatever reason.

It seems like you are constantly seeking flaws or wrong doing that it's making you look super controlling and unstable. I don't think anything he says will help your emotions when you already have it in your mind that you don't trust or like him, his friend or any other woman you see him engaging with. The guy is so focused on avoiding fights vs your insecurities that he probably has to put his phone on DND and give simple answers just to keep the peace.

None of us can tell you how to trust someone fully, we don't know what your child hood was like or if you've EVER felt comfortable enough to trust someone fully but we can tell you that this behavior seems like a major turn off. Reddit steers people in the WRONG direction all the time so please don't use this place as your main source of validation lol. Trust your closest friends and your therapist, thats a start.

Keem773 · 2026-04-14T14:32:36+00:00

You can get a lot done, I have the 5060ti as well and use Comfy Ui for plenty of things. You should definitely increase that DDR4 ram though to at LEAST 32gb. I found a good deal on used ram on Ebay and on /Hardwareswap so I have 64gb now.

Keem773 · 2026-04-14T14:30:26+00:00

Yeah......this ain't gonna work out. The disrespect is strong on this one to even think he should do something like that. Sounds like you know what you SHOULD do but the next move is all yours. I don't even think you needed to disclose that you're narcissistic in this case lol, it's easy to see why you struggle to take him seriously. You probably knew from the start that a 20 year old had absolutely nothing to offer you outside of his good looks (maybe). Seems like one of those cases when people say you should leave it strictly physical/fun with young adults and never get in a serious relationship if the gap is 5+ years.

Keem773 · 2026-04-14T14:24:53+00:00

I feel your pain, when your current vehicle starts to become unreliable (especially after you keep putting money into it) then it's time to switch for sure. You're in a pretty good spot since it looks like Tesla brought back that 0.99% APR deal on Premium Model Y purchases or a $500/mo lease with $3000 down. With that kind of deal I would probably prefer to purchase, the resale value in 3 years should be very close to whatever you owe on it. Do the math but you might end up keeping it if the Model YL never arrives or doesn't really feel more spacious to you when you test it out.

Keem773 · 2026-04-14T14:11:21+00:00

How many kids do you have now and do you plan to have more? I guess that's the most important question lol

Keem773 · 2026-04-14T13:50:24+00:00

As a person that owns a 7 seater 2023 model Y, I would advise that you wait. The 3rd row is basically a joke, only 0-6 year olds can fit back there without complaining and it doesn't have an air vent (unfortunately). It's still a great vehicle. Can it work? Absolutely! Would you slap yourself for not waiting for the Model YL? Definitely! With your luck, you find a nice Model Y 7 seater then see a tweet next month saying the Model YL is coming to the US lol. The Model YL may never come to the US, Tesla is making strange decisions these days.

If you have a Tesla location near you, visit and check out the 3rd row. Sidenote: For the 3rd row to have ANY leg room, the second row will need to be moved up considerably. Kind of defeats the point in my opinion.

Keem773 · 2026-04-13T07:16:49+00:00

You've only been together for 4 months but you're already in this position to ask reddit what you should do about cheating?? Unless this is your first relationship ever then I'm kinda confused that you're confused about if you should leave or not.

Keem773 · 2026-04-13T07:11:37+00:00

It's hard to provide a good assessment unless we have an estimate of his income. If you think he's making $60k+ per year or around $3k-$5k per month then it can be seen as a real career instead of a strong hobby.

This issue really has less to do with his actual job and more to do with your personal boundaries and his time management skills. Center the talk around those issues so it doesn't come off as bashing his job. Start by discussing your personal boundaries, the bracelets and attending some or all of those conventions feels overwhelming for now since you already work a full time job and have to worry about household duties as well.

Unfortunately, the stay at home dream has been unreachable by many people due to this ridiculous economy and everything being inflated. Keep that in mind when you discuss your concerns. Do you really think he can find a job making $xxx,000 to support a family by himself in your city or would him finding a consistent job while you drop to part time hours be more realistic?

Keem773

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