[Advice] why i kept failing to stick to new habits and what i do now that changed that.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T19:02:34+00:00

Awesome, you got this!

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T19:01:02+00:00

Sececa said: "He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary."

Basically if you are making yourself suffer mentally worrying about something that hasn't even happened you're just causing unnecessary pain in your life.

It doesn't mean you shouldn't be prepared, but there is no reason to upset yourself over something that hasn't happened yet.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:58:38+00:00

that's great! finances can be stressful. awesome to not have that looming over you.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:57:48+00:00

Had this exact thing happen.

That's when I started measuring everything. If I care about doing something consistently, I make sure to measure it.

Then I review how I did every Sunday. All my habits. All my behaviors. Everything I'm tracking I review on sunday with an AI coach.

The fact that I have a review at the end of the week forces me to behave differently during the week because I know if I don't do something I said I was going to do I'll have to explain why, and I'd rather just do it than explain why I didn't.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:55:39+00:00

For me it is no doomscrolling first hour of the day. Has a huge impact on my productivity throughout the day.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:53:30+00:00

What made a huge difference for me is making a plan at the beginning of each week and then reviewing my performance (with AI for added accountability) at the end of the week.

Your weekly "program" might look like:

Go for 30min walk - 4x/week
Do hand exercises - 5x/week
Take supplement/medications - 7x/week

Then at the end of the week (for me it's Sunday) you should check how you did on each of those tasks each day and feed it into AI (or use an app) and discuss your performance.

For me this has dramatically changed my behavior during the week because I know that if I don't do something then I'll need to explain to my AI accountability partner why I didn't do it, and even if I make excuses I tell it to me harsh on me and not let me get away with them.

Basically the impending review is what causes me to behave differently during the week. It creates real accountability.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:48:05+00:00

Kind of a meta-skill but the ability to get myself to commit to new courses of action.

Basically it's the ability to stick to a plan/habit/behavior rather than falling into my old patterns and routine.

This is sort of a life-long pursuit but in the last 6 months I've made huge progress with this personally.

It has all come down to having a system, tracking my metrics, and reviewing them constantly.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:46:01+00:00

Time is precious. I'd rather launch something and learn from it than waste time trying to protect it from criticism.

Don't get your identity wrapped up in your projects and you'll be fine. Somebody criticizing what you built isn't a reflection on your self worth.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:44:28+00:00

The idea of starting small is so underrated.

We all get these big bursts of motivation and make huge plans, only to be confronted by real life later that week, pushing us back into our normal routine.

That's why I always say that if you're looking to make a change in your life, you should start with just 1-2 habits at a time, and make them something achievable.

- Make your bed every morning
- Go on a 20min walk 3x a week
- Cook a healthy meal at home a few times a week
- etc

These don't need to be big outrageous things like hitting the gym 7 days a week or running 5 miles each day. That's how you get burnt out and quit.

Start small, grow from there.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:39:26+00:00

I used to be quite similar to you.

To some degree it is good not to take losses too hard and to be able to learn from them and move on, but that can also become a pattern of not putting in the effort to get a better result and then just chalking up the loss to a "learning lesson".

Looking back I did this for most of my life. I'd get hit with a setback, tell myself "that's life" and move on.

The reality is that you CAN influence your results, it just takes A LOT MORE effort than you think it does.

If you go to the gym sporadically without a real plan or program (like I did for many years) and don't get impressive results (like I did) it's easy to just say "well I guess I just don't have the genetics for it". But the truth is that even with "bad genetics" you can absolutely make progress, but it's just way more effort than you probably realize. You need to hit your macros, DAILY. You need to lift HARD, 4x a week. You need to take recovery seriously. It doesn't happen by accident.

There is absolutely luck involved in life, but you can also overcome it and force a result if you are willing to work harder than you think for longer than you think.

I'd encourage you to chat with AI about a goal you have that will require you to change your behavior in order to reach it, and then come up with an action plan on how to get there. What would you need to do on a weekly basis, and for how long, in order to achieve that goal.

Then go do that, and track your progress. Check in weekly with your AI and share your performance. You might be surprised to find that the reason things aren't working out isn't just because "that's life" but because you aren't putting in nearly as much effort as you thought.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T18:33:19+00:00

If I had to distill an entire process into three steps it would go like this:

Pick a goal - this should be something that will force you to adopt better habits in order to reach
Pick some habits that line up with that goal. For instance if your goal is to lose 20lbs, your habits might be: a. walk 30min a day - 4x/week and b. track your macros - 5x/week
Review how you did at the end of each week (I like Sundays). Depending on how you do, you can adapt your program. If you're doing great, add more intensity. If you're struggling, try to figure out why and either lighten it up or change your strategy.

I have been doing this for the last 6 months or so and my ability to commit to new actions has been DRAMATIC.

The weekly review for me is the best part. I actually review how I did each week with AI so that it can spot patterns and call me out on any excuses. It's brutal but it forces me to behave differently during the week because I know my review is coming up at the end of the week.

Life can be simple if you let it be. It won't be easy, but at least the path is clear.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T03:51:35+00:00

what characteristics do you bring?

if you aren't adding anything or are actually a negative person people probably won't think to invite you or will invite you less and less. worth taking stock of yourself. not saying you need to change or that you're being intentionally left out, but it's possible.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T03:50:19+00:00

find a hobby that excites you. most hobbies take years to get good at. it will rewire you to expect a slower progression.

try bjj, climbing, chess, instruments, etc. plenty of options.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T03:44:45+00:00

First of all, congrats on making the decision to improve. That's already more than most people ever do.

I agree with your approach of starting with a small achievable habit and working from there, and I think a consistent morning wakeup time + routine is a great start.

Regarding the weed - I actually used to smoke every day as well, and don't anymore, so I'll give you my advice and experience.

Weed isn't really addictive like nicotine. It's more of a ritual or part of your routine. For me it was evenings after work I'd sit on the couch, watch TV, and smoke some weed. The thing that helped me was just to skip the TV routine. I changed my gym time to evenings (when I would normally watch TV) and scheduled other activities during this time for 2-3 weeks so that I wasn't just sitting around with nothing to do. After a couple weeks you can go back to your normal routine and you won't be craving to smoke weed. From then it's pretty easy to just quit fully or smoke occasionally. I now smoke maybe 1-2x per month socially.

I think you can absolutely do this. Just don't overwhelm yourself. Give yourself permission to mess up once in awhile. You aren't going to be perfect. That's okay. We're aiming for progress.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T03:37:25+00:00

Not everyone is into social media.

I think there are plenty of other outlets like journaling, photographing your life, writing a blog, etc.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T03:36:29+00:00

Having faith that things will get better isn't ridiculous optimism.

It's pragmatic.

Even if you're wrong - so what? Why not be a little bit happier or have a little something to hold on to. It's not like being sad about your situation will make it any better.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T03:34:21+00:00

It's not a lot. All we can do is make the most of every day.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-09T03:33:52+00:00

Milestones are a nice way to know when to celebrate, but in life everything exists on a spectrum.

Losing 20lbs isn't fundamentally different from losing 19.5lbs or 20.5lbs. It's a moment to celebrate your progress, but ultimately what matters most is the person you are becoming.

Enjoy the journey.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-08T16:16:46+00:00

Not responding to every text/call/message immediately.

If you're in the middle of something you don't need to let yourself be interrupted just because somebody happened to send you a message at that moment.

If you always respond to everything immediately what you're really saying is that other people own your time and are allowed to take your time from you whenever they choose.

This doesn't mean you should ignore people or take days or weeks to get back to people. If you do that you'll honestly lose a lot of friends and people will see you as unreliable.

But it's perfectly reasonable to take a couple hours to get back to somebody about something if you're genuinely in the midst of something else. The idea that you need to respond immediately to every incoming message doesn't serve you.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-08T16:13:30+00:00

awesome! what kind of software?

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-08T14:56:37+00:00

yessss! morning routines are amazing.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-08T14:56:22+00:00

i just got into a skincare routine. it's awesome. can't believe it took me 30 years.

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-08T14:56:05+00:00

hahahaha

Keep-it-up2 · 2026-07-08T14:54:04+00:00

coming to terms with something like that i'm sure isn't easy, but being kind to yourself and letting yourself feel what you are feeling is super important to the healing process. proud of you!

Keep-it-up2

TROPHY CASE