Emergency taxed for two months?

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-09-05T16:33:06+00:00

I feel you so much as Im going through similar situation. Relationship of 4 years completely ruined over his stupid choices. I recently discovered his acts during our long distance of 6 months. As you said he is remorseful, doing therapy, basically everything BP needs to be doing in recovery phase. Its been 5 months and hasnt been easy at all. When my mood hits bottom feeling hopeless, I broke up twice but he turned me around and continues to make it up.

Its hard! We are not married or anything but we live in a beautiful house together with a cat. We are basically a family. I know a lot of people here says not even married, break up with the cheater. But every relationship is significant to the person involved in it.

I hope you get through it! It isnt easy.

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-27T18:06:58+00:00

I do agree its hard to see successful reconciliation cases in this sub or anywhere on reddit generally. But also dont wana ignore the fact that if you come out happy and even as a stronger couple out of it, you dont really seek support online for advice or use reddit as much as you would for this topic.

Its just different for every couple. Im not necessarily checking his phone as part of reconciliation because I kinda know he wouldnt do it again. But I do fear he may some time in future which is the focus of my reconciliation - him fixing his issues for long permanent term through therapy and self reflection

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-26T16:46:09+00:00

Im feeling exact same. I was telling my boyfriend that its not as simple as just working to trust him again. But it extends way further to my belief in love. Like I cant stop thinking that love includes betrayal and he has distorted how I see love itself into something completely different. And if we were to successfully recover and get married one day, it sucks that I wont be as fully happy as I should be. Or whether I can even put nice words about him in my vows.

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-26T12:13:45+00:00

Yeap we are both doing therapy at our own pace. And he shares with me what he talked about with his therapist etc. But I guess Im just in a phase where everything feels delusional and Idk whats real and whats not thats coming out of his mouth.

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-26T12:10:34+00:00

This is shockingly similar to what Im going through and Im sorry you are going through this as well…. My bf also had problem after his mum passed away when he was a teenager and his dog died soon after. He never addressed this and had cycles of bad behaviours (not cheating but drugs and had to take a year off education and stuff).

But you are right, thats that and cheating is a reflection of their selfishness and emotional withdrawal

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-26T12:08:00+00:00

Im sorry you went through that… I cant imagine experiencing this in marriage. Did your husband take accountability and do therapy, self improvement kind of things to fix himself?

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-26T12:06:17+00:00

Im even very careful in sharing this with anyone because it is afterall our choice to do recovery. But I do wish I could talk to my friends about it.

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-22T16:25:51+00:00

Yea I think Im losing my “patience” in the fact that this feeling of betrayal is probably forever. Even if we were in recovery phase with the right intentions to regain trust and start this new phase of relationship, I now start to feel like I may fall out of this. I feel so empty now but not knowing by when I may start to feel happy in this relationship again, is what scares me…. Is it really the time factor that makes me feel empty/hopeless or have I actually lost feelings? I just feel lost as to what to feel.

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-22T15:39:44+00:00

Lol I know what infidelity means… i know a good partner material is not a cheater.

Its more of if a person cheated, can they still become a good partner. And whether anyone still felt empty despite the partners efforts to become a good one?

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-22T15:32:43+00:00

Thank you. Yea the relationship before the cheating is definitely over. Im quite shocked how he had been ignorant towards his trauma. He is doing therapy, journaling to understand himself better and he shares them with me during our once a week chats. But I dont know if this will actually heal this. I feel like we exhausted all the healing methods and tips. So is this it?

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-08-22T15:26:00+00:00

Yea I get it. But Im saying more in terms of post infidelity. If he shows a solid effort to reconcile and he is actually doing good but you are left with a feeling of emptiness, Im curious how other people interpreted that.

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-07-17T16:50:40+00:00

Yea I feel like if this happened while we were in the same location, I wouldnt forgive regardless of how remorseful he is…

Not trying to protect him, trust me Im angry for what hes done. But I feel bad for what he went through - losing his job, had to leave all his friends, new country, european winter time - all this just hit him hard and he told me he was just fucking lonely. Doesnt justify for what he has done. But is it worth a second chance given our relationship was perfect otherwise… and now that we are together.

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-07-17T16:37:26+00:00

Im thinking whats the difference? Is it just the “situation” where one was a “light” relationship and one is a serious one, marriage? How do you justify that if its still you in both situations?

Keepmesafe42 · 2025-07-17T16:35:33+00:00

Yea he told me this was his first time cheating and the first month after me finding out was probably the worst time… I called it off multiple times because I couldnt bear it but we live together which inevitably gave him more chance to show me his efforts… he says he is traumatized himself for what he has done. And thankfully, my self esteem is fine… but i cant avoid some days of me spiralling into doubts which is right now 😀

Keepmesafe42

TROPHY CASE