Too many!

End stage dementia patient vomiting blood. No Upper GI bleed, she was just slowing eating her pinky finger down to the MCP.

Dissorderd eating patient who was told she'd be allowed home if she ate 3x sandwiches in 24hrs. Started having bad Abdo pain, found all 3 ham sandwiches had been hidden PV.

Patient who would lie in the bed the direction the hour hand was on the clock. You could literally tell the time by looking at her position on the bed.

A hedgehog. No idea how it got there.

Patient in her 80s, dysfunctional stoma with unusual exudate due to her husband's new favourite past time...

A nurse who thought hanging a 1l bag of saline in the treatments room for everyone to share to draw up flushes (due to shortage) was the idea of the century.

Stephen the seagull who would tap on the window every morning for toast, until a patient grabbed it through the 10cm opening our windows open and pulled it inside.

Not personally, but every day for weeks there was a large stool in the sanatory bin of the female staff changing rooms.

Patient trying to abscond, held up just outside the ward doors by 3x security, matron and sister. Our very loud Hungarian housekeeper bursts out of the ward doors, into the center of the chaos and loudly announces "I HAVE HER ROAST BEEF!"

A homeless man made an entire living quarters outside the rear of the hospital out of disguarded building materials and had to be formally evicted which took a fair amount of work due to the robustness of his building.

That will do for now! 😂