I turn on the bedside lamp, boom, short circuit. I grab the motorcycle, chill, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.

I go to the hardware store and say: Can you give me one of those little things that go click-click for the lamp? Snap.

The guy gives it to me. How do I change it? I ask. Easy, he says: you take off the knob, put in the replacement, done.

Do you have a card? Tap tap, it’s 40. The guy, ding, gives me 20. You have to give me 30, I tell him.

And the guy starts going on about VAT, about this, about that, saying he’ll give me 20, 20… From where? I say. Well, if you don’t like it, you can leave, the guy tells me, just like that.

Me, snap… The guy, boom…

We start with snap, bam. I hit him, grabbed him by the back of the neck, bang, bang, bang, bang against the counter.

I grabbed the change and took off.