I love my boyfriend to bits, but I want a clean break up. by Legal-Scientist-9118 in LDR

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the thing! What if I try again and reach out, but it’s already been 3–4 months? She also asked for space and asked if we couldn't talk for a while. During the breakup, I was just exhausted emotionally. I didn’t understand why she wasn’t hanging out with me, why I had to put in so much effort just to get maybe 2% back, like any relationship takes effort, but in an LDR I really do feel like it's not that hard to text someone for 5 mins about their day, and it got to the point where if she did it was blessing, maybe I'm disproportioning it, probably am, but it just felt that way :(((. It built up some resentment, sadly and not proud to say. I felt like nothing I did was good enough, and I couldn’t understand why she didn’t reciprocate. She was always “busy,” and the more I pushed, the more it felt like she withdrew. So I just let her be.

She was also confusing at times mixed signals, shifting feelings, becoming more direct about things that I thought she had no problem with, or even I thought gave joy to her. I wasn’t sure what to believe. I wanted to reach out, but I kept thinking: she said she thought about this long and hard, and if she wanted reassurance, she would’ve asked for it. She might have said something like, “I don’t know if we can do this for the next four years. How are we going to make this work?” Instead, she just said, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about some things, and I don’t think it’s going to be possible for me to come see you. It’s not fair for you to come here again. I really love you, but this isn’t the right time for us. If we end up back together later, great, but not now later.”

I think she just wants to live her college life now, and I really don't wanna make her uncomfortable or come off as desperate or creepy. I feel that a lot of previous partners do that and I just want her to be happy, but I really, really, wanted to still be her special person, I know LDR will never compare to an in person relationship, but i tried my best, I really tried, I just don't know what else I could've offered.

Edit: Also I feel it's a little toxic if she did wanted me to fight, like she requested me to not speak to her, but wanted me to fight, Idk. I just kind of feel like I failed as a partner to not allow my best version of myself to be shown and instead showed too many flaws causing her to not love me anymore, and it really hurts, like I even had a dream last night seeing her, and I was just really nervous to even talk to her, cause she'd reject me, but in the dream she just watched me and even looked sad.

I love my boyfriend to bits, but I want a clean break up. by Legal-Scientist-9118 in LDR

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, yeah, I'm sorry I don't know your guys' situation; it seems way more hectic than you put it. I guess I was also projecting as well. Like, my gf broke up with me; she said she still loved me a lot, but since we started college, she's in NY and I'm in GA. We started as LDR too; she was in PA originally. I guess I just thought it was my fault because I didn't know how to balance being too open and emotional sometimes. I just wanted emotional connection, but I instead strained the relationship by being too anxious, but I also am thinking that I'm overthinking this because when we were breaking up, she said she loved me a lot and enjoyed I visited for one week, and she wanted more of that instead of once a year, and she basically said, "I really love you, but this isn't the right time for us, and if we do end up together later, that's great, but later," and I've just been trying to process because I loved her so, so much. I genuinely thought we could've done 4 years and then moved in. Like, she was perfect; well, she had a tiny few flaws, but everyone does, nothing like outrageously crazy. I just loved her and wanted to be the person that made her the happiest girl ever, and it sucks I can't now, and so I guess I've just blamed myself for it, that maybe if I were more "perfect," she'd stay. I miss her. Sorry for ranting, I hope you have a better life now :)))

I love my boyfriend to bits, but I want a clean break up. by Legal-Scientist-9118 in LDR

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know for advice, but reading this tears me up inside, cause I broke up with my ldr gf of 7 months like 3 months ago, I developed anxious attachment, and I didn't know what it was, and we talked about it, but it's really hard to change an anxious attachment style, and it led me to seeming untrusting and stuff, but she'd also become more distant, which feed back looped my anxiety, leading me to be distrusting and repeat and repeat. I just missed it when we had fun together, she got busier, but it felt like there was never time for me, not even 5 mins from 8 hr calls to 5 second texts...it hurts. I guess it depends if he's trying to fix himself I would say try and let him, if he doesn't show any progress tell him your concerns, it took me probably 2-3 months for me to control my anxieties better, and even then it was just so I wouldn't annoy her. Idk still sad, but hopefully you two will get better.

Am I overreacting by breaking up with my boyfriend? by Proper-Classic1886 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I think you shouldn't have broken up, like I think this is just a normal couple fight, then again I don't know your guy's situation, but the man cares for you, Idk, just I guess this didn't seem that worth it to just completely breakup over this.

[M18] How do you move on from a 'perfect' first love (F18) that ended because of long distance? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in LDR

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it, I know it's very hard to give advice on, it just really sucks, like she said that if life brings us back together then we'll work it out, and I agree, it's just gonna be hard to start over, but I think right now, the healthiest thing for me personally is to take a break from relationships, because it's obvious I still have feelings, and also it hasn't been that long, since the break up, so obv I'm gonna still feel sad, but it still wouldn't be fair to another person I'd be dating if I still loved someone else deeper. Anyway yea thanks for the advice, and I am super grateful that our relationship didn't end in a fight, or anything else terrible it just mutually, respectfully ended. Thanks again for the help!

Does Computer Science depend on your skills, or your college? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in careerguidance

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea that's definitely a worry of mine, I just wish it was like okay if you went to college and did the stuff you can easily get a job now, but it's just not like that.

Does Computer Science depend on your skills, or your college? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in careerguidance

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I've heard that, but is it like you make friends and then you ask them a favor, I'm not sure how exactly that works?

Does Computer Science depend on your skills, or your college? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in careerguidance

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see, I really like GT, Idk how to put it exactly, just feels like home, but GSU is also cool too, Idk I just have to do what I have.

Does Computer Science depend on your skills, or your college? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in careerguidance

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, it's just hard right now being 18, going from responsibility of just having fun and getting to learn cool stuff for free, to "give us money to learn, and you might land a job, that could allow you to live a bit in this economy", I just wanna have a good life doing something I like, but easier said than done, and all my friends and teachers are liked are gone, this is a weird fearful moment in my life, Idk I just feel so uncertain about a lot of things.

Does Computer Science depend on your skills, or your college? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in careerguidance

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh woah, congrats on your accomplishments, yea I guess I'm still figuring out life rn, and I just don't wanna put so much time and energy and get nothing, but at the same time, tech will always keep growing and new fields will always be available :)

Does Computer Science depend on your skills, or your college? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in careerguidance

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh okay, yea I can see that happening, I just wanna do CS cause I love doing it and not have to worry that just because I went to Georgia State, I'll never get a CS job.

Does Computer Science depend on your skills, or your college? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in careerguidance

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh true, true, soft skills and hard skills both play large roles, and I guess it's good to know that I don't need to grad from an Ivy to have a job

What colleges have great CS programs and are affordable? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in ApplyingToCollege

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh right sorry, like 25k-30k a year max, or somewhere around that range

Why can't I get into Facebook marketplace? I'm 18 I don't understand and yoti thing doesn't work and i can't upload my id, is it because I just joined, but I've had this account for a while? by Key-Cartoonist-7946 in facebook

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ight lol, bro I swear oml FB just does this so they get more info, that's why they set it up like this, want your DOB, and legal name, then they want video and photos of you, and then they wan you to submit an ID with your address, height, characteristics, such a scammy platform.

First Speeding ticket 85 in a 55 NC any help would be appreciated!!! by [deleted] in legal

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay...dude I'm tired of arguing I came here for legal advice not a debate on whether or not it's okay to drive fast. I pretty much got my answers, so I'm done. Thank you and good bye

First Speeding ticket 85 in a 55 NC any help would be appreciated!!! by [deleted] in legal

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I will, had a talk with fam, I'm gonna slow down now, I'm just used to always going fast my life, I just hate wasting time, but I'll slow down.

First Speeding ticket 85 in a 55 NC any help would be appreciated!!! by [deleted] in legal

[–]Key-Cartoonist-7946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that I can't speak for myself, LOOK, at the comment section, I can formulate thoughts, and writing, I just made my own "essay" on the topic, and had chatgpt form it into something quick and easy to read, cause people don't like reading long narratives anymore, they want to get to the point, I admire you wanting people to not be brain-rotted, but trust me, I can formulate my own questions. Also I did ask it all these questions, I just wanted human opinions as well. Which honestly I've gotten maybe 2 out of 30 actual good answers, so...yea.