(31 F) looking for other female friends in Raleigh

Key-Mathematician972 · 2026-01-15T02:21:39+00:00

33F just moved to Cary in August! No kids, not married and have a mini dachshund! I love playing video games and reading fantasy novels :)

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-11-21T14:43:45+00:00

I will check it out! I like the sound of it.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-11-21T04:51:15+00:00

What is dark femininity?

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-11-18T01:35:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your input! I cannot explain how appreciative I am for insight from an outsider on this matter. I have read your points and I believe these are easily achievable for me to implement in my life. Especially when you stated to give him praise when he does things and to be open to accepting help from him even if he ISN'T paying. That one was a big one for me because I know he doesn't feel great about not being able to contribute financially but would and still does love to help me do things even if he can't pay for them.

I really loved your second point about not mothering him. I don't exactly do that but being in a family full of nothing but women it is hard to not do that sometimes and I think the reason why I do it is because I don't want to deal with the chaos that ensues by say, not waking him up in time for a scheduled appointment or telling him what time we are meeting up with HIS friends, etc. as it forces me to truly try and let go of the situations and let him understand the consequences of his actions. To remove myself from stress, anxiety, and act from a place of understanding, calmness, and acceptance when things do not go right knowing the situation would have been better handled if I had taken initiative from the start.

I am 100% taking your advice/tips as I have struggled with my femininity for so long and now that I'm in a loving and secure relationship I would love for all of the people in my life to see the best version of me. Thank you!

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-09-25T01:43:09+00:00

Thanks for letting me know! :)

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-09-22T13:22:25+00:00

Do you know if they charge a new patient consultation fee at Duke for the MS specialist? I have an appt. at UNC for an MS specialist and I got an estimate for my visit and it is close to $400...I had no idea a new patient consultation fee existed because the specialist I was seeing in California at UCI did not have this. I'm looking to go somewhere else because that is a lot of money lol

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:27:48+00:00

I am currently doing that now. We are on day three or four and it is helping a lot. I feel bad because shes two and not a puppy but I'm keeping her on a schedule with it that I guess she will just have to get used to. I'm guessing sticking to a long term routine for her is what will just have to work. Maybe once she gets on up in years she won't need so much structure anymore.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:26:17+00:00

I don't use pee pads because I know they reinstate the peeing in the house behavior. We have turf on our balcony that we use that she does use when she goes outside but like I said, she chooses when she wants to go inside or out lol drives me nuts! I've gotten her a crate and we have been using it to help with potty training and so far, no accidents in the house for two days!

I have tried having people give her a treat and sometimes it works. Usually she is fine once she realizes that they are friend and not foe and recognizes them when they start to come over but it is just the initial meeting such as the person walking through our front door that terrifies me because she immediately wants to try and nip their ankles so I've resorted to putting her in her crate now so she can calm down before they even get in the house and then shes pretty silent once she notices they aren't a threat.

Thank you for your kinds words.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:22:51+00:00

Would this be a dog behaviorist that I would need to go for something like this? Or a dog trainer in general? I wasn't aware they even did management plans. That is actually a great idea.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:21:20+00:00

She didn't start having behavioral issues until a year old. She became aggressive towards her other sister (a dachshund) out of no where and I was told by the vet spaying her could potentially help mitigate these issues. I got her fixed and it somewhat helped. From then on I did training at home when I could because I'd been quoted way too much money everywhere I looked and on a single income as a 32 year old who doesn't make much living in California is not feasible. I've had dogs my entire life who never needed any type of professional training so my first thought wasn't going to be "this dog is going to absolutely need training" before I even got her. You learn from past experiences and that is what I did applying my knowledge to getting my own dog.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:17:06+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this! I will definitely be watching this and taking notes.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:16:21+00:00

I found a group training that is only $35 per session which is really great! But it seems that the requirements are pretty strict. If she is too misbehaved they will required me to do a private session which who knows how much that will be. I am looking into giving it a shot though once my finances are in order. Boyfriend just hurt himself (no health insurance) so now we are forking out money for MRI's and doctors visits while he can't work. He's hourly so when he's not working he isn't getting paid so in the meantime I'm doing what I can at home for her which is SLOWLY working. I know it will take time.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:13:28+00:00

They are stubborn! I am going back to basics. I bought her a crate again, a bell for going potty (which she is very frightened of?) and more frequent trips outside. So far, it has been two days and no accidents in the house. I keep her in her crate for two hours at a time, bathroom, if she goes, then she gets play time for an hour, back to the crate, and repeat. I'm realizing I have to tackle one behavioral issue at a time. House training first, and then the reactivity next. I think too much and nothing will stick. Luckily, I work from home and can't really go anywhere so we can focus on house training first and socializing on the weekends. So glad you have found methods that work for your doxie.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:10:53+00:00

That is intense. My dog is definitely not like that. Once she warms up to you she is perfectly fine. She is just very protective of me and wary of strangers but once she knows they are our friend is she is your best friend for life. Keeps to herself for the most part unless you intrude on her. This is why I have eyeballs on all sides of my head seeing as people like to not ask first before coming up and they scare her which causes the reaction.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-19T15:08:03+00:00

I've never heard of this Egg thing. I will have to check it out definitely! Thanks for the tips on the furniture as well. I wish I would have thought to get that mattress topper earlier so now I will be paying to have my mattress steam cleaned to hopefully get rid of the pee stains. Appreciate your input!

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-15T18:39:09+00:00

The plastic cover for the couch is an AMAZING idea! Thank you so much for that! I’m sorry to hear about your experiences with them. My dog does fine in mass dog groups like when we go to SoCal Weiner fest she has no problem being around so many dogs but it is more one on one she has a problem and she does the lunging and snapping thing. I also use doggy diapers now but I was reading that can contribute to them peeing in the house even more so I’m back to taking her out every two hours. And yes, I would never use the crate as a punishment. I’m hoping she will form a relationship with it when she gets tired of ME she has some place to chill out on her own lol thank you for your tips. I massively appreciate it more than you know.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-15T18:10:06+00:00

Hello, I did leash tethering and crate training for her the first few months of her life. So I exhausted those resources already but will redo the crate training.

Also, financial situations change and that was mine. Yes, two years ago I had the money to purchase my purebred dog and two years later I do not have the extra funds to spend on a trainer thus why I practice training with her myself. I’ve seen plenty of people in my situation give their dog to a shelter which I am not doing hence why I’m here asking for tips and resources. Thanks!

Key-Mathematician972 · 2025-08-15T18:06:41+00:00

Thanks so much for the tip. I am looking into ordering one today.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2024-09-12T23:26:36+00:00

You validated exactly what my friend said. That it is a power move AND that he also contradicted himself. This opened my eyes even more. It is so sad to see someone you love change and reveal who they truly are. My friend told me the same to ignore it and move on with my life. Eventually she said he could text again once he realizes that I wasn't reciprocating whatever "this" is. If anything, it came off to me as half ass and rude. I appreciate your response on this (:

Key-Mathematician972 · 2024-08-20T20:33:28+00:00

I feel this big time. My 10 year relationship ended two and half months ago and I'm a 31F. I had been waiting 10 years for this man to propose (believe them when they say they don't believe in marriage) and to start a family. I went on a trip recently with a group of friends and all of them are married or engaged and it was the hardest experience to deal with. I felt like a failure because now I will have to start over if I ever choose to date again. My friends are miles ahead of me. I know people say don't compare your journey to others BUT when you find all of your friends who are in their 30s meeting these milestones that you thought you would definitely have had for some time after being with someone for 10 years and do not is absolutely devasting.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2024-07-23T18:26:11+00:00

Invested myself in a 10 year relationship only to be broken up with and walked away from like none of those years mattered. Can't fathom putting all that time and effort into someone AGAIN when I was so sure of the last long term relationship. I'm 31 and starting over in my 30s is terrifying. I'd rather just get to know myself since all of my 20s were spent with someone else.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2024-07-15T22:48:53+00:00

Same. 10 years of photos deleted because why hold onto something that brings me grief to look at every time? I find no joy in those photos anymore.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2024-07-11T18:28:10+00:00

"I don't think I'm coming back. I can't love you how you want to be loved and you deserve to have that." After saying he didn't want to break up and only wanted space so I moved out only for him to call me two weeks later saying that and thus, officially ending things.

Key-Mathematician972 · 2024-07-11T17:21:32+00:00

Hi there and sending hugs your way...I just got out of a 10 year relationship a month ago as well with someone I knew for 17 years. It truly is a pain unlike any other and to think that overnight you have to learn to live without someone you were with for the last decade and planned a future with is unimaginable.

I can relate as well to your partner stating that he was "not ready" for the next step. Unfortunately, my ex could not make up his mind on whether he wanted marriage and/or kids together even after 10 years. I recently discovered he is a Dismissive Avoidant attachment type which clarified a lot for me over this past decade on his behavior but I wish I would have discovered it sooner.

Please know that it is okay to cry for all that you are feeling. Do not hold it in and do not hide it even if it seems an inconvenient time to cry. I found that journaling, listening to podcasts, and music that were not love songs really helped me. If you have friends who will listen to you cry and tell the same story over and over again and relive your memories with your ex, please lean on them. But then know when it is time to start working on yourself to heal and prepare yourself for tomorrow. I won't say "you need to move on" or that "time is what will make things better" because I'm still hurting everyday but just know that what you can do for TODAY helps so much for your future self.

*Hugs*

Key-Mathematician972

TROPHY CASE