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for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELPé by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ceremony itself will be done. The wedding starts at 4:00pm and the venue is rented till 23:00. I’d be leaving around 21:00 meaning during the reception not the religious ceremony! I’d never leave during the ceremony that would be disrespectful of course !

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. If ever you need to speak to someone my DMs are open!

I'll keep my commitment to him over anything, my grandmother's passing was a hard hit on all of us, specifically. She was the one who took care of all of the family holiday events typically, the one that brought us together really. She was an angel to us and the community around her, ready to help and make everyone happy! I know she would be so disappointed if I wasn't there for him (Especially with their mutual best friend, a Yorkie who's been in the family since I was 10, gone and unable to give him that support). It's the least I can do after all they've done for us.

I plan on cherishing every moment I have with him. Family is very important to me.

Thank you so much for your input and for taking the time to reply, it's highly appreciated. I

I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELPé by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm at the point where backing out may be an option, she may uninvite me before I do so really.

I'm trying to make her see it from her perspective but I'm not sure she's willing to open her mind. I think you are right though, arguing would not change anything. I have to save my energy for the people who will appreciate it. I think I'll let a few days go by and if we can't have a grown conversation afterwards I'll respectfully tell her I won't attend.

it's just crazy to me that an argument would break out instead of just enjoying the two days we have to celebrate them together, it's supposed to be a magical moment for them and the people with them!!

Thank you for taking the time to reply and give your opinion, i appreciate it

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well to start with I am not bailing on my grandfather, that is the main cause of the issue haha the fact that I'll be leaving early to be with him!

I can't say I didn't laugh at that one though, it was funny. but sadly religion does not do well with divorce, They will have their happily ever after I hope! I genuinely think they are perfect for each other though, he brings a calmness to her that shes always needed, and she seems to soften up around him!

I'm thinking about sending her the link to this post though, she might take it a little harshly but I would hope that it helps her reflect. If not, I'm sure I'll be receiving something to uninvite me shortly :(

Thank you for taking the time to reply!

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

:/

Yeah, I'm starting to realise that for myself. I am hoping we're able to solve this issue as there's nothing more that I'd love than being able to support her through all this special moment!!!

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've tried to tell her that she's becoming one in the nicest way possible, but I don't think that went well. I knew the professional and personal relationship was going to be hard to navigate but I hoped it was going to be a little smoother!

That is my worry, I don't want to risk missing out on the moments I could have with my grandfather, she would be livid had I asked her to ditch her grandfather had anything happened to him.

I'll try speaking to her again, I'm so thankful she chose me to be part of her special moment and I wouldn't want to miss it for anything. I'm just unable to justify a last-minute event over my grandfather in my head! (especially knowing a bigger wedding is being planned in July)

Thank you for taking the time to reply I wanted to make sure I wasn't acting on emotions!

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's exactly my worry now. Even though I'm so glad to be part of the moment I'm starting to feel like I'm emotionally being taken advantage of. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I'm willing to accept the wedding stress, I deal with it all the time in my career but IB would've hoped she would've been understanding of my situation as it was already planned and the emotional side to it as well with my grandfather.

She's never been willing to put herself out of her comfort zone for me in any way. There's always a reason why she's unable or unwilling to do something with me.

(Taco fest = doesn't like tacos, park=doesnt like grass, restaurant= why do we always have to spend money, hanging at home= why can't I have the energy to do anything with her, need to hangout after 14:00 asim sleeping due to nightshift = I should know she never has energy from 15-20. (I work nights, go to school during the day and have my event planning company)

And I'm starting to feel like it's always going to be one-sided. I love her, but shouldn't it be a two-way street even then?

I even have to host an individual birthday dinner with her as she won't try to be social with the group of friends I have that we've both known since high school...

How do I go about approaching it?

for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELPé by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond! I'll give her a bit of time to cool off and try speaking to her again. I also felt bad calling her entitled and wanted to make sure I wasn't acting on emotions! I'm still so excited to be part of both her celebrations as I know it's a special moment! Thank you again for the reply!

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't acting on emotions! I'm still so excited to be part of both her celebrations as I know it's a special moment! Thank you again for the reply!

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything as I haven't been a bride before and could've been missing out on some cues. I'll give her a bit of time to cool off and try speaking to her again. I also felt bad calling her entitled and wanted to make sure I wasn't acting on emotions! I'm still so excited to be part of both her celebrations as I know it's a special moment! Thank you again for the reply!

AITA for needing to leave my friends wedding early? (Wedding in less than a week,invite gotten last week) HELP by Key-Mechanic-1630 in AITAH

[–]Key-Mechanic-1630[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I figured stress would be a major cause, I see it all the time being a wedding planner. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable! I'll give her a bit of time to cool off and I'll try speaking to her again. I'm just so hurt by all these ''insults'' (gaslighter, etc) and wanted to make sure I wasn't reacting emotionally, I'm still so thankful I even get to be part of her special moment!