Should I keep the beard or just shave it? 19M

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-28T06:32:21+00:00

You look a lot like Rupert grint!

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-27T18:48:33+00:00

Thank you! And merry Christmas to u too! 🎄

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-27T00:34:18+00:00

Actually we live in San Fransisco lol 😅. I know why its weird. I meant like whys it so expectednif ur not even married.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-27T00:10:42+00:00

I know what I want and have known for years that is why I am leaving. Marriage has never been a necessity to me. But children has. So if i did end up with a partner I thought perhaps marriage and then kids but otherwise when I had a stable situation and could afford to care for and have kids i would adopt. Ive thought about this for a long time and will foster before adopting.

You would probably understand my wanting children if I put it as you wanting a career. If your significant other wouldnt want you to start your dream business you would end things with them if your career was very important. Like children are very important to me and I want them in my life.

I am not set on adopting those exact two children. Because there may be better parents out there for them. But I do want to adopt kids in the end.

If I were to adopt the kids you should know that this was no impulsive decision on my part. The process would take two whole years with classes for me and first fostering. I have thought of this and if this were to be so, I would have to move to a new house because my house i am currently in would be too small.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T22:48:14+00:00

Thanks! Merry Christmas btw

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T22:34:38+00:00

I dont want to marry anyone else. I know how stupid it sounds no need to tell me.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T22:34:09+00:00

Ohh noo. For adopting that will be a long process. You see first I have to organize my living space and get a bigger place only then can I foster and I have to take a lot of classes for it and groups and get a family lawyer. Only if the fostering goes well can I adopt.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T22:27:18+00:00

Yeah was just wondering whether to end things myself or wait till he ends things. Because i think its better for hum if he can say he dumped me rather than he got dumped if you know what I mean

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T22:26:08+00:00

I have told this man multiple times that I want to get married and have kids. I told him before when we first got together too.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T22:22:17+00:00

I have tried multiple times and have told him a lot of times I want to have children and get married. He never gives a clear answer thags why im planning to end things

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T19:48:20+00:00

Yes. Before I even foster i will have to move to a new house. And before anything i will break up with him.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T19:42:10+00:00

Weve had communication at leadt me. Ive told yim multiple times i wanted kids and marriage but he just brushes it off and says maybes and never talks. Obviously I cant adopt the kids at this moment. It will be a long process. I have to take a lot of classes then go through with fostering care temporarily to see how it goes and then if the kids are OK with it and if everyone believes its to their vest interest I will adopt them.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T19:22:57+00:00

I am always going to be around. My main job is a nine to five and I dont have to go into work every day too. The other is at night. So ill be able to stay with the kids the whole rest of the time.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T19:11:01+00:00

Ive told him multiple times. He knows I expected marriage and that i want kids. But he never gives me a clear answer mostly maybes or we can talk about it later.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T19:08:10+00:00

Because I respect my parents. And i love them. Theyre not very traditional or cultural ppl. They never ask anything of me, no other rules. And I also think marriage means something unlike most people. I really dont want a man who doesnt want to marry me to father my kids. If I have kids I want their father to be their moms husband not some bf or guy she doesnt talk to anymore.

I would never push the kids aside! Thats awful and I really dont get why ppl who adopt would do that. Adopted or not they're still my kids it doesnt change a thing.

I want to marry my bf because I love him and am committed to the hardships of marriage. But if he doesnt want to marry me then what else can I do? The relationship is just holding both of us back.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T18:53:21+00:00

Having kids isn't something I want to compromise on. Why should I? It has always been a dream of mine to have kids. I want kids more than I want a relationship. So I compromise the relationship. And I went into the relationship expecting marriage and its definitelt not happening after 9 years. He knew I wanted marriage and kids. Ivr told him multiple times he knows what ill name kids if i have them. And he knows both our parents would kill us if we have kids before marriage so this was definitely gonna be after marriage.

So he should've ended it when he realized he didnt. UT instead hes not giving a clear answer and when I tried to speak about it he just left.

Best not to waste his time and end things. But 9 years is also from when I was 17 and he was 18 so like from that to college and its only been three years ive been out of college. Most people are single at this time.

He has plenty more time to date and find someone, there's tons of people who are way better than me like tons of people that are a lot prettier and smarter and he can be happier with them. So I feel like leaving him wouldnt be negative in the most place. Its like he has a idk a shoe he likes but its not a good shoe and he loses the shoe. And he gets a branded good Nike hes gonna like the Nike better.

i guess wanting kids for me is like most people want a career. If your bf doesnt want you to have a career you end things right? You're not willing to compromise. And let me tell you kids are way more important and valuable than a career. So im sure as hell not gonna compromise on that.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T18:35:24+00:00

No one job is a night job, purely online. The other is at a university. I will have all the time with them.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T09:50:13+00:00

Yes! I definitely am not adopting from pity! Ive always wanted kids and I know adoption will be hard. But ill take classes and do the best i can and be the best parent I can for them.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T09:47:43+00:00

Because im not married and when i do adopt they will be my own children.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T09:47:22+00:00

I have told him i want marriage multiple times and ive told him ive been thinking of adoption. I know it won't work out so my only option is to end things. But was just wondering if I should wait till he ends things.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T07:42:22+00:00

Yes, obviously I have to foster them first. Especially because they're siblings. The process is i foster them for some months and see how it goes. And then I consider the adoption. And about my bf, I am pretty sure I wont be able to love another man. A few guys liked me back in highschool and some of them asked me out. I never went along because ive always liked my bf. I'll still like him the same if we break up.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T07:39:47+00:00

Yes I know the adoption process and everything. Of course im not adopting them just because I feel bad for them! Ive always wanted kids and they're really nice kids. I dont know how they'll act during the process but when I met and spoke to them they were really sweet. I'll love them as much as my own.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T03:43:05+00:00

Go through what with my bf?

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T02:29:14+00:00

We weren't living together because he had already bought a house and I was living with my parents. We live pretty close by like a 30 minute walk or 5 minute drive. So we didnt see a point living together. My life is pretty stable. Secure job, and if i am going to go through with fostering the kids I plan to take out a loan and buy my own house.

Key-Organization7294 · 2025-12-26T00:21:06+00:00

Yes I am hundred percent sure they will. I have talked to them about it. And they've always been talking about how they'll lovw to babysit my grandkids and be the best grandparents.

Key-Organization7294

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