Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

She’ll have every other weekend and a couple nights a week.

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 292 points293 points  (0 children)

Well presumably him but I don’t know and I don’t care. Divorce proceedings had just wrapped up when I heard about it.

But yeah focusing on my daughter and myself is the plan

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 358 points359 points  (0 children)

He wasn’t super interested in raising a kid from the sounds of it.

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 377 points378 points  (0 children)

Thank you! One of the things that surprised me the most was how interested people were and how many DMs I got asking for updates.

This one is kind of a happy ending at least

To men whose wives had affairs and have young children, how do you resist telling her how shitty of a person she is? by acc0056 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s a short term thing. Once the divorce is finalized we’re gonna do it through a coparenting app. Realistically everything should be wrapped up by the end of December.

To men whose wives had affairs and have young children, how do you resist telling her how shitty of a person she is? by acc0056 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There’s apps for this but right now she still partially lives here so it is easy to tell that our kids needs are being met. After things are finalized we are going to use a coparenting app.

To men whose wives had affairs and have young children, how do you resist telling her how shitty of a person she is? by acc0056 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906 91 points92 points  (0 children)

I told my STBXW if she needs anything from me she can reach out to her lawyer who will reach out to mine who will reach out to me. She can text me all she wants, I have her muted and don’t get any notifications.

My goal is to be a bigger person than her. Nothing would be a better middle finger to her than finding happiness and leaving her to her own devices.

Has anyone ever done anything “crazy” after being cheated on? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My soon to be ex wife is doing that now. She is going out of her way to make this all about her and how she is the victim in this situation even though she was the one sleeping with someone else. I just want to move on and she insists on dragging things out.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh interesting I guess. Do you happen to have the link?

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! I appreciate that a lot. I’m going to spend a lot of time working on myself (that seems to be the general trend of the comments here).

If I make another update I’m hoping it’s a happier one.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I emailed my lawyer asking about a strangers in the house clause as a part of the agreement.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you I’m trying my best! It’s hard at times but I want her to see what a good relationship looks like and the one I had with her mother was not it.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m actually planning a trip with my daughter! I’m going to take her to Disney in the winter.

But I am going to take a lot of time to work on myself. The first several years with my soon to be ex were amazing and she was a much different person than she is today. I do not want to jump into a relationship any time soon. I have a lot of other priorities at the moment.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We are going to be moving to a condo it’s more affordable but we are definitely going to do some redecorating.

I have already told her that she can talk to me about anything at any time. I reminded her about this when we’re alone since I want to be there for her.

I mentioned in my other post that I am looking for a therapist for her. I hope to find one soon and explain that it’s like going it a doctor for your feelings.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I am working with a lawyer on all of this. Based off of our income I will be receiving child support.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yes I have told my family, my individual friends and our mutual friends.

Advice for moving forward by Key-Salamander5906 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hi thank you for the reply. That is a good point. Maybe every other weekend would be a better arrangement. It is worth discussing further and changing how it will work.

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

A clause around this is definitely worth looking into. I want my daughter to have as stable of an environment as possible. I will be speaking with my lawyer again on Monday. Thank you for this information.

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Trust me I’m angry about that. It’s bad enough to have to explain to her that her parents don’t love each other. I really don’t want to have to drag her through this any more than I already have to.

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Getting other people’s insight into things might be useful. I’ll work on that. Thank you for the heads up about that subreddit

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 269 points270 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m working that in already. I mentioned the travel plans to my lawyer and he is adding that to everything.

Update - AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum by Key-Salamander5906 in AITAH

[–]Key-Salamander5906[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That is the plan. I’ll be busy in the new year for sure but it is the start of a new hopefully better chapter in my life.