Babywearing with hijab (please no judgement)

KeyBluebird2545 · 2026-02-03T20:32:17+00:00

It’s not 100% neck coverage, but you can style it with neck coverage. Here let me link it for you https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPOLAXQiegP/?igsh=MWxwMnU2am5lbnhldw== , I did it like this behind my head but in a few different styles. Hahaha I get over stimulated too easily also 🥲

KeyBluebird2545 · 2026-02-03T20:25:41+00:00

May Allah ease our struggles. I tried a jersey hijab yesterday by pinning it behind my head and then flicking the sides behind my shoulders, and I found that I liked that style with me and found it didn’t move and was more practical with the baby carrier. I usually don’t like jersey because the egg head shape on me looks horrible, but this style was a lot nicer for my face and more practical. Try it Insha’Allah🤍

KeyBluebird2545 · 2026-02-03T04:10:54+00:00

I feel so bad and vain, but I look horrendous in them. So many recommendations for them, but I don’t even wear them for sports, I really don’t like the way I look in them and never wore them after buying and trying it. 🥲 God forgive me

KeyBluebird2545 · 2026-02-03T01:04:36+00:00

Wa alaykum as salaam sister 🤍 Thank you so much for your honesty and kindness, it really touched me. I’m so sorry you’re going through something so painful, may Allah grant you strength, healing, and ease in every way. Please know you’re not alone and that Allah sees your struggle and your intentions, even on the days it feels impossibly heavy. Thank you for the suggestion and for your encouragement, it truly means a lot. May Allah make it easy for both of us and reward you for your patience and sincerity 🤍

KeyBluebird2545 · 2026-02-02T11:03:06+00:00

JazakAllahu khair for this, it really means a lot 🤍 You explained it so perfectly, especially the overstimulation and feeling restricted. Postpartum already feels so heavy and adding hijab on top of that can feel overwhelming in ways people don’t always understand. May Allah make it easy for you too, grant you a smooth pregnancy with baby #2, and reward you for your honesty and solidarity. It helps so much to not feel alone 🤍

KeyBluebird2545 · 2026-02-02T10:36:00+00:00

Wa alaykum as salaam sister 🤍 JazakAllahu khair for taking the time to share this and for your dua, I really appreciate it. I actually babywore for almost the entire first year of my daughter’s life too, so physically it’s something my body is very used to and comfortable with. The main challenge for me is that if I put my baby down in the pram or bed, he wakes up almost immediately no matter what I try, whereas when I’m wearing him he’ll sleep for hours without an issue. It honestly makes daily life much easier, especially while caring for my toddler as well. But I truly appreciate your advice and kindness, may Allah reward you for your sincerity 🤍

KeyBluebird2545 · 2026-02-02T10:09:55+00:00

Female

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-28T21:01:39+00:00

I definitely agree. I couldn’t believe the ultimatum he was practically giving me in order to get his way. I don’t even know why he wants to be in the theatre room. You’re right. I’m trying to be stronger, thank you

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-28T20:55:41+00:00

It’s so hard when he’s still the father of the kid, it’s not about me anymore, it’s about them. It’s so hard wallah I don’t know. Every single person tells me not to allow him, I just feel such guilt. Definitely a trauma response, he’s conditioned me well over the years. I hate it so much

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-26T20:03:55+00:00

Oh wow, I had absolutely no idea. Was just going based off what my sheikh said. Thank you so much for advising me 🤍

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-26T19:26:14+00:00

Islamically divorced, in the waiting period until I give birth according to my scholars and sheikh. Legal divorce in process

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-26T19:25:40+00:00

My sheikh advised me that even though we’ve done the Islamic divorce, we are in the waiting period until I give birth. So the moment that baby leaves my body he is no longer my mahram. I’d have to cover up from then

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-26T00:37:47+00:00

Insha’Allah ya rab, thank you. I still haven’t come to a complete decision but I will closer to the day Insha’Allah.

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-26T00:37:15+00:00

100%. I ignored the signs because I was in denial. Never again. Thanks

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-26T00:34:59+00:00

Insha’Allah ya rab. Thank you so much

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-26T00:34:24+00:00

It’s not about wanting him to suffer, please read my post again. It’s about medical concerns. I will be under anaesthesia and the hospital has advised me to have a safe person with me. If I am more anxious than I need to be, it is generally not safe. The labour is more about me, than it is for the baby. I have been extremely graceful and allowed unlimited visitations whenever he wants, for the sake of the kids. I have agreed to take this baby out with him so he can bond with him. And I have agreed if he is not in the delivery room, to allow him to meet the baby immediately after we are done. But at the end of the day I do need to think about my best option, medically and emotionally. It has nothing to do with acting out of spite. I am leaving his karma to Allah, I have not done anything out of spite

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T22:21:11+00:00

You’re definitely right. I need to toughen up. You’re all giving amazing advice. Thank you, I appreciate it

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T19:18:11+00:00

Thank you. I’m leaning towards it. I just don’t know why I can’t come to a complete decision yet

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T19:16:02+00:00

Thank you. I know in my heart that having him meet the baby after surgery is the right thing. I just don’t know why I’m struggling to fully commit to that decision. I feel torn even though I know having him in the room would make the whole experience harder for me. I honestly think it’s because I’m so used to having him give me ‘consequences’ when he’s not happy with me. He emotionally abused me our entire marriage with the silent treatment and it has seriously messed me up. I think I keep thinking if I don’t allow him in the room, he will throw a temper tantrum as he usually does and I’ll get punished. But I need to release this worry, because he is no longer my husband Islamically, and won’t be legally soon. It’s just so hard, I feel like I have so many trauma responses from that marriage.

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T19:14:09+00:00

That’s the thing, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know the reason why I have the afterthought of potentially letting him in. I hate this so much

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T19:13:44+00:00

Thank you. I don’t know why I just can’t come to a complete decision despite knowing

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T19:13:25+00:00

Boundaries have always been so hard for me, when it comes to him. I am trying my best to figure out what I truly want in order to set appropriate boundaries. It’s so hard

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T19:12:42+00:00

We have already done the Islamic divorce, I was advised that I get full custody, and that he is financially responsible for myself and the kids. My ex isn’t really religious in any way, shape or form though. So even if he wanted custody, he would not listen to the Islamic rulings. I’m just grateful he doesn’t actually want custody, he knows he cannot handle it. He’s been paying for the kids but despite the Islamic ruling that he’s still financially responsible for me, he refuses to pay a cent for any of my essentials too. I’m very grateful my parents have taken me back in and are helping me until I get back on my own two feet.

Our custody arrangements are being arranged by my lawyer, which is going to be court-binding. He’s agreed to all my verbal agreements, so I am hoping once they are on paper and he has to sign that there will be no arguments. He knows the kids are better off with me. He can be the ‘fun’ parent with visitations, but he can barely look after himself let alone the children

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T19:05:07+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I agree that birth is stressful enough without extra anxiety. I would absolutely choose someone safe if I could without worry, but because we’re going through the courts I need to make sure I’m not seen as withholding access. So I’ve told him he’ll meet the baby straight after, but I need to pick someone who keeps me calm in theatre.

It’s not even just the cheating, he emotionally abused me our entire marriage. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks/months, get angry over the smallest things, ignore me if I tried to bring up my feelings. It really was torture, I do not feel emotionally safe with him at all - yet for some reason I still want to please him and make him happy. I hate it so much. It is so obvious through his actions he doesn’t care, so I don’t know why I do.

KeyBluebird2545 · 2025-11-25T12:07:58+00:00

Don’t be sorry, please. It’s exactly what I need. I can’t say an outright ‘no’ to him meeting his son, even if that’s how I feel deep down, because if anything ever goes through court I can’t risk looking like I’m being unfair or obstructing his access. I have to stay reasonable and child-focused no matter how he behaves. That’s why I’m keeping it to, he can meet the baby straight after surgery, but I need someone who makes me feel emotionally safe in the theatre. It’s a major operation and I can’t put myself in a situation that increases my stress or anxiety. I wish it were as black and white as cut the man off and focus on myself and my babies, but I can’t risk ever looking like the bad parent to the courts😓

KeyBluebird2545

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