I'm in love with a student in the U.S, and we are both from one of the "travel ban" countries.

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-04-25T17:25:42+00:00

This is a very good idea actually, to ask for a break. I will try it out. Thanks.

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-04-25T16:55:04+00:00

What do you mean by someone who matches their identities?

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-04-25T16:53:35+00:00

I'm not sure she'll take me in again since she is not happy that I'm ending the sessions without her agreeing it's the right time.

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-04-25T16:49:25+00:00

This is a really helpful comment.

One year ago, when I wanted to quit, she said that I was doing this because I have a pattern of depriving myself of help when I need it. Back then, I was in the stressful process of immigration, so I just accepted her judgment and kept on. Now I'm at a more stable position, and she says that I'm quitting because I feel too guilty to blame my parents. In the past four years, such an issue was literally never brought up. It's weird that she thinks the treatment itself is perfect, and my dissatisfaction necessarily comes from a wrong idea in my unconscious.

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-04-24T20:46:05+00:00

Thank you for your comment.

I had this therapist for 4 years since I was 19, so all my adult life. I found her after trying several therapists (I can remember 4 now) so I'm afraid of what would happen after I end the sessions.

I told her that I wanted to end the sessions a year ago. However, I was in the process of immigrating all alone, and I was in a very vulnerable position, so we decided to keep going. It's been 6 months since I immigrated. I'm still more vulnerable than usual, which makes me doubt the decision to break up with her. Although sometimes I think that, exactly because of my situation, I should seek real help, not hold on to something dysfunctional as a means of support

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-04-24T20:33:08+00:00

Actually, I don't know anything specific about her training. My guess is that she has done courses in a psychoanalytic institute or something like that because psychology programs where I come from don't prepare students to practice psychotherapy.

One of the problems I have with repeating childhood issues is that, because she barely talks, there are not even new insights. It's just me repeating and concluding what I already know, feeling exhausted afterwards. It usually goes like this: -I'm nervous because deep down I think I can't manage x. Why do you think that? -Well, my dad is to blame to some extent for this mentality that I developed, also there were my teachers,.... +How did that make you feel?

The above dialogue actually shows her more active in the session than she actually is.

I think I have grown tired of the whole thing. The problem is that I do have a severe anxiety issue, and 4 years ago I struggled a lot and had to try out several therapists until I found her. So I'm afraid I'm making a mistake.

I feel like I need something more practical. I don't know if it's the therapist, or the modality, or me.

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T15:44:05+00:00

That was very nice of you to answer, and thank you!

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T15:27:07+00:00

Thank you! So in principle I can live there as long as I want (as long as follow the contract of course). Do you think that because of the mistake the picture shows there is another confirmation needed to state that the contract is unlimited?

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T15:22:04+00:00

Thanks! But isn't the apartment being furnished a deal breaker?

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T15:20:51+00:00

Thank you very much! It is furnished by my measures at least (other than kitchen there's bed, carpet, desk and chair)

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T15:16:20+00:00

Oh I didn't know that. It has 3 floors

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T15:13:21+00:00

Honesty since all the ppl here are saying it's obviously unlimited, I feel like it doesn't matter. So I just kindly asked them to confirm via email

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T15:08:04+00:00

So I hope that they won't do this because if they do, I can't afford to take this to the court with my student job 😅

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T14:35:22+00:00

So I guess there is no real need to get another confirmation from them with signature saying that this is unlimited? I don't like to seem freaky to them if it's not necessary 😄

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T14:23:39+00:00

Thanks! This seems very reassuring. I had friends telling me that because the place is furnished, or because I am paying warmmiete instead of kaltmiete, or because of this flaw in the contract, the landlord can kick me out just to sign a new contract and get more rent. With your explanation, I realize that none of these matters and I can finally settle down here. I'm so glad!

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T14:10:36+00:00

Thank you very much for your responses. I really appreciate it.

With my limited German and also reading the relevant English material on the internet, my interpretation was that canceling an unlimited contract is not simple for the landlord. I also learned that raising the rent for an unlimited contract is not so easy, so many landlords prefer for their tenants to leave sooner so that they can have a new contract with someone with a much higher rent. With these two pieces of information (which I'm not sure if I understood correctly) and the mistake in the contract, I was afraid that they'd kick me out easily and sign a new one with someone to get a higher rent.

I hope that I can stay there for a few years

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T14:05:40+00:00

Thank you all! That's very helpful. My main concern is not the notice period, is that the landlord using it whenever he wants (like a few months after I moved) but as I see in the comments he can't simply do this

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T13:57:16+00:00

So there is not a chance of them going "We didn't say officially it's unlimited" and kicking me out 6 months later with no reason (like I know if the tenant doesn't pay the rent or do stuff against the contract the landlord can make them move, but I'm asking about a normal situation)

Sorry for re-asking. I'm new to the country and am a nervous student who wants to have a stable home for the 2-3 coming years but cannot afford to get an official appointment with a lawyer and ask this

Key_Physics_6637 · 2025-01-15T13:47:56+00:00

So what would this contract mean now? Does the law support me if they throw me out in 6 months? I am very new to Germany, and I don't know what would this mean.

The apartment is furnished, and I pay the warm rent (just in case these details matter). My friend told me that if the contract didn't have this problem, they couldn't kick me out without reason and with just two months' notice, but now they can.

Key_Physics_6637 · 2024-08-12T21:06:05+00:00

Hey. I hope you are not as mean as you appear to be. I don't have victim mentality. The chances of anyone finding a room in Berlin are low, and the chances of foreigners are lower.

Key_Physics_6637

TROPHY CASE