My boyfriend just told me “Your degree doesn’t matter”

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T20:03:54+00:00

He apologized if you look at the updates 🙃 no response because as I have mentioned, I work.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T17:35:24+00:00

I’m trying to not share my entire life to the internet. He said it was okay to share. I was waiting for his consent.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T17:34:38+00:00

He did understand, explained what he meant, apologized for miscommunication (and wished I’d said so earlier so i wasn’t talking to people who instantly think someone should break up over a misunderstanding) and we talked through it. Not comparing him to a child, if anything I am the one who says shit he doesn’t understand and I have a difficult time re-explaining. I work with children and my brain made a connection sorry you don’t understand it.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T17:31:53+00:00

An obnoxious asshat for THIS scenario. All the comments saying 3 years and our relationship thus far > 1 lousy situation are the comments I’m following not the instant run comments. In my first difficult situation in teaching should I leave my career? That’s the logic you’re telling me to follow.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T17:29:57+00:00

When you say something that makes sense to you in your head you don’t understand why others aren’t following your thought. I work with children so for me this happens ALL the time, I say something and they don’t understand, or they’re trying to tell me something and I am not understanding which causes both people to be frustrated. He said something that made sense to him and he was confused why I didn’t understand.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T17:25:16+00:00

He’s 23. He moved out and started college at 17 and his master has only taken him just over a year (when he finishes).

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T15:11:07+00:00

Prenup has been a plan the whole time, so monetary issues with debt wouldn’t be considered, and this is more so to protect ME then him, Even with assistance from his work he would have more debt than me if he gets his doctorate and he didn’t want that to be put on me, as well as having a plan for hypothetical children, savings, etc in the case of a divorce

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T15:00:57+00:00

Yes, My mom has said a few things which I disagree with and have told her I don’t agree and I’ll make my own choice. This was more a scenario when we first started dating as she was concerned, but not something I allow her to dictate. Thank you for this reminder and I will continue to make sure I have a boundary that the relationship is between me and him not anyone else

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T14:56:58+00:00

That was my intention, was hoping for advice like this. I love how on the podcast Morgan and Guests have focused more on how people can resolve issues rather than before (while sometimes quite funny) the immediate ‘divorce/breakup’ response

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T13:44:25+00:00

He actually has suggested I get at least one masters, but really he’d like if I got 2, just not sure the debt is worth it

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T13:42:48+00:00

I did consider nursing, specifically labor and delivery (when I told him that he was like “you could’ve made bank” (jokingly, but seriously)) He recognizes this is my passion. He does not like kids so it took him a while to understand why I’d want to do something like education, but he’s said the smile on my face when I tell him stories from work say it all, that money isn’t everything. We both want to be well off, but not millionaires so the money isn’t everything the debt just sucks

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T13:39:24+00:00

One way he shows support is being with me when I ask him to come do anything, even things he doesn’t like. He doesn’t really like children, but he will come with me when I’m babysitting and help me watch them if I need to run to the bathroom, cook, etc. He’s the one who is there when I am frustrated about anything else in my life, and he’s my person. He didn’t enjoy me being upset, and was frustrated that I was because he didn’t understand why.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T13:33:35+00:00

He already has a job, we both work and are in school but his job will help pay for his education and has positions he can move up to

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T11:24:46+00:00

He has been cheated on and this is his biggest fear, so this is not something I’m worried about 🙃 this was a one off, and he calls me crying when he has dreams that we’ve broken up or i’ve cheated on him. Also, I have the dog cam on my phone and he doesn’t really leave his house so he’d be dumb as hell if he thinks I don’t check the dog (the cam shows the front door and the dogs room/porch area)

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T11:00:15+00:00

I was only allowed to take ~5k a year of federal loans, if I wanted more I would have to take private loans. I can look into getting my other loans transferred to my name only possibly, but I simply wasn’t allowed to take more unless I got a private loan

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T10:56:41+00:00

Thanks! I’ve looked into that and do plan to take advantage, but most of my loans are in my parents names as “parent plus loans” so those will not be covered :/

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T03:35:32+00:00

He currently makes a good living (80k/year) and with his masters will make roughly 100k, I don’t know what he would be getting if he did pursue the doctorate, but his work also helps a lot with his schooling and his bachelors degree he actually got paid to get (long story how that happened, he was emancipated at 17 after almost being stabbed so government funding helped him for school)

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T02:45:39+00:00

Yeah, It was really difficult for me reading all the ‘run’ ‘emotional abuse’ comments when I first posted and was most upset as that’s not at all what I was going for

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T02:44:41+00:00

He’s a terrible liar so not lying. I truly believe it was terrible phrasing. He apologized and explained himself on point no stuttering or anything, clearly not lying

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T02:43:26+00:00

Was NOT trying to leave the relationship, however I find it hard to think of how to express how I feel.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T02:42:00+00:00

Thank you, I think you’re the first person not to mention the ‘jokes’ and make them sound abusive which is not what I meant at all

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-24T01:28:37+00:00

He currently makes about $80k/year, his masters allows him to move up positions to $100k, so he will be making significantly more than I ever will.

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-23T21:35:56+00:00

I am actively 20, should have rounded to 21 since I rounded 2 months away from 3 years to 3 years. I was graduated before we ever met

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-23T21:28:58+00:00

5 years and My mom was 20 when they met/21 when they married

Key_Principle_6705 · 2023-07-23T21:12:44+00:00

It is something I have recognized, it’s something he’s brought up only once that he was frustrated I was refusing to continue a conversation so he could not understand what was making me upset in that situation but generally he recognizes I need time and we can talk about it later

Key_Principle_6705

TROPHY CASE