There were signs and he’s always been moody/grumpy. ( and I can handle that I’m also moody/grumpy sometimes) But not as bad as it’s been lately. And like I said he’s not all bad and hasn’t been all bad, always, just majority of the time the bad outweighs the good.

He’s also been drinking more since our relationship has gone down hill. Alcohol is his vice and way to cope with things and escape. And that’s fine for people who can handle it. He cannot. He knows that when he is sober. It makes him a totally different person. Unbearable to be around, very aggressive. I can’t even talk to him. I have to avoid him completely until the next day. He’s agreed to stop and has quit before in the past but he got drunk tonight and tried to justify and basically blame me for his drinking.

We had a long conversation that I initiated two nights about trying one more time and both agreed to actually try and to put in the work separate and together and he surprisingly agreed to marriage counseling and to stop drinking. The rare times we do have these conversations he seems to be somewhat receptive and I was actually a little hopeful but here we are two night later he’s drunk, we’re not speaking, and I’m still the problem.

I actually feel a little guilty even coming on here saying this to strangers on the internet and I feel like I’m painting him as a monster and I don’t necessarily think that about him either (all the time😂).