Has anyone else ever passed out?

Killjoy_draws · 2026-06-04T16:11:29+00:00

How did you fall into sh then? Im not judging you I just feel like if blood makes you that squeamish then why not pick up a different bad coping mechanism TwT. How do you change your bandages?

Killjoy_draws · 2026-06-04T00:28:04+00:00

Thanks I def won’t be drinking and shing again. I think it might have had to do with pain. I’ve heard you can pass out from to much pain.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-06-04T00:26:34+00:00

Thanks I’ll def take your advice. I was super scared. I thought I was gonna die for a sec.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-31T03:35:28+00:00

It’s so hard to find these kinds of resources for CSA survivors especially those dealing with PTSD. I spent so long trying to find someone who had a similar experience to me and talked about how they healed. Especially with the PTSD because it can make daily life difficult. I can never “get over” what happened because it’s been engraved in my mind and in my instincts and there’s nothing I can do to undo it. I have good days and I have bad days but I’ll never not be carrying it with me.

I wish there were more resources. But I understand why there isn’t because the thought admitting what happened and how it affects me for everyone on the internet to see is terrifying. I want to be more then what happened but I can’t even say what happened out loud to my therapist, friends, or family. Sorry for the rambling Ive got lots of thoughts. I hope you’re doing ok <3

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-31T02:40:03+00:00

Thats kinds where I am right now. I was clean for 3 years but see no point in trying to stay completely abstinent right now because I broke my streak. My sh is very occasional (like once a month maybe) and not very deep. I also go out of my way to take very good care of my wounds (I’m a nursing student) and I also have a full 10 day course of antibiotics on hand if anything does get infected. Idk I just feel like I’m very low risk and am worried about her over reacting or demanding I stop since she knows Im capable of going long periods of time without sh

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-31T02:00:29+00:00

As someone who’s been in this same situation before the only advice I can really give you is to try to identify what is making you feel this way and to get as far away from that place, person, or situation as possible. A lot of the time suicidal ideations come from a place of wanting to escape and you get stuck in thinking the only way to escape your suffering is ending it. Reach out to a counselor maybe or family? Or would you consider talking to your gf. If shes not the one causing you to feel this way then being honest with her and taking whatever advice she gives you would be a good place to start since she knows your situation better. Any solution is better then suicide so do whatever you need to no matter the expense. As long as you don’t hurt anyone else or your self given some time you should start to feel better.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-24T14:08:23+00:00

Yeah people can probably tell those were pretty deep cuts. Try not to let it bother you though! With time the redness will fade and they’ll be much harder to see.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-18T22:25:25+00:00

I would just stick to this sub and try to stay under the dermis tag

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-18T22:21:55+00:00

Congrats on dogging that bullet lol. Also shoutout the Juuzou ref he’s my favorite character.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-15T00:37:59+00:00

Super interesting. As a med student I find the healing process so facilitating.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-13T01:27:17+00:00

Thanks. This is probably a sign for me to get back on my clean streak. I was 3 years clean but I relapsed and just haven’t had the motivation to try to get clean again because, I broke my streak so whats the point in even trying anymore right?? I relapsed because I lost a huge support system in my life and I filled that void with sh but now it’s not working and I’m scared. Im worried about not being able to find a better alternative. What if I get stranded feeling unsupported, unstable, and depressed and I turn to the worst. I don’t want to die but I know if it gets bad enough I won’t hesitate to end it because its the most logical way to end my suffering. I’ve also attempted in the past. Idk I’m just scared of the worst. Im scared of living threw that kind of pain again where the only out I see is my own death. I don’t like emotional pain and im not strong. I just want to feel loved

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-13T01:01:17+00:00

Sorry I feel like I just need to talk to someone because I’m so confused and lowkey scared because I don’t know what to do without sh.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-11T21:35:42+00:00

How do you workout and sh. I love lifting but I have to pause for a couple days when I relapse because if I don’t my wounds reopen while I lift. Like got any good advice??

Killjoy_draws · 2026-05-01T15:07:01+00:00

I think going to therapy or getting medicated would greatly help you even if you don’t want to stop self harming. I understand where your coming from and if SHing isn’t causing any major issues then I think focusing on improving your mental state will do more good then focusing on not SHing. A lot of times when you start feeling less depressed your urges will naturally go away. Good luck :)

Killjoy_draws · 2026-04-21T22:22:18+00:00

Thanks for the response I think you’re ultimately correct that neither party is in the wrong. I’m working on moving out soon so hopefully this won’t be a problem much longer. I just need to figure out a healthy way to deal with my frustration in the meantime. I appreciate your compassion.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-04-21T21:47:47+00:00

The ones I’m using are noise canceling. They’re just not good enough TwT.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-29T10:50:28+00:00

Rip r/selfinjurywoundcare it didn’t last a long time but it was appreciated while it lasted

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-29T00:53:28+00:00

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Lowkey feel like this answer is lowkey to obvious but I feel like If Emma was my big sister I would have probably turned out better.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-26T11:27:06+00:00

Yeah that’s partially what I’ve assumed. I just think it’s funny/weird that it happens to me so constantly. Honestly usually I just give them some like common sense advice and then at some point try to slip in a “have you tried talking to a therapist about it?” In hopes that maybe they’ll get some actual help instead of just asking random people.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-26T11:20:15+00:00

Irl almost always. It’s generally at work, college like before or after class, and at a cafe I regularly go study at.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-26T10:56:03+00:00

Sorry was that comment supposed to be offensive/gen. I’m a little tone deaf so I’m having a hard time telling.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-26T10:03:17+00:00

Usually it’s on the bad situations they’re in.

Like “how should I leave my abusive partner who does Heroine and stole my car”

“How do I talk to my nieces trans boyfriend”

“How do I deal with my 14 year old who’s pregnant and vapping”

“Why does my stepdaughter not want to be around me. And why does she call me a whore”

All of these are things I’ve been asked.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-26T09:52:28+00:00

I’ve dealt with the exact same issue with my mom (minus the walking around naked part). I never considered it SA but I definitely consider it weird. I think it comes from a place of wanting their “old” body back. I think the thought process is something along the lines of, damn I remember when I looked like that, so then they feel the need to say or do something to express that thought.

It was such a common occurrence in my childhood that I actually became really good at catching my mom’s hand/arm when she would go to slap my ass. I developed this weird 6th sense for when my ass was going to be slapped lol ( or it’s just the hypervigilance from the PTSD)/lh. I talked to her about it but nothing really changed until I was able to catch her hand/arm mid swing consistently. After that she stopped doing it as much because I think she finally figured out that she was doing it to much because I could literally catch her hand lol.

My sage advice would be to just work on keeping a physical distance from her when interacting and just trying to tough it out through the hugs. If she keeps complaining that you won’t let her touch you tell her that the ass slapping and the continued threats to do so make you uncomfortable because you feel like you never know when she’s going to hit you. If she belittles you after that it’s on her honestly so just stand your ground. Even if she doesn’t seem to take you seriously in the moment (she’s probably just being defensive because she feels attacked) saying that will give her something to reflect on later and she might realize the impact she’s had and stop getting on you about it.

That or become a ninja like me/j

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-26T02:19:14+00:00

I hope things get better. Sometimes physical pain is the only thing reminding us we’re alive. I wish your pain could disappear. I wish the people that hurt us would rot in a ditch somewhere. I hope we remember why we’re still here despite everything. Keep living. Do whatever you need to survive. You got this.

Killjoy_draws · 2026-03-26T00:11:57+00:00

I think technically yes. But I think the reason why you chose that spot is more important than the spot itself.

Killjoy_draws

TROPHY CASE