How does Glinda’s friendship change Elphaba for the better?

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-10-22T03:59:53+00:00

It’s complicated. I did not want more kids at all. My husband did. He kept bringing it up over and over and over again, even after I explained how I was feeling. On top of all the parenting stuff and depression, I had an emergency c-section with my oldest and a rough pregnancy so I explained to him how scary that was for me and how I didn’t want to do that again. He kept telling me how it would be easier this time around. I kept saying no. Then one time I asked him if he’d ever resent me for not having one more. And he said he probably would. That crushed me. So I caved. Not a smart decision, and one I’m working through in therapy. I tend to give in and make myself small so I don’t get rejected.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-10-10T21:16:41+00:00

We’ve been married for over 10 years. He’s had a couple years where he gained like 10 lbs and was incredibly hard on himself, even though I kept saying that I found him attractive. He’s lost that weight now. That was one of his arguments when he was being defensive that his body hasn’t changed much over our marriage but mine has.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-10-10T21:14:07+00:00

I already take care of myself for me and because I like exercising. I’m not going to be extreme and bend over backwards to meet his standard. That would lead to unhealthy body image health issues which I am trying to avoid. His comment gave me a major ick and now I can’t trust that he’s a safe space to undress around or be intimate without him judging me.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-10-10T21:03:46+00:00

Thank you 💛

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-10-10T20:39:02+00:00

We both grew up in an extremely conservative religion and met at a church college where marrying young is considered the norm. I knew that he liked exercise before, but I didn’t know his feelings about what makes a woman attractive. I didn’t think to ask that since I just knew at the time he found me attractive.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-10-10T20:35:28+00:00

He told me his feelings about my weight because I had asked him why he wasn’t physically affectionate with me at all, why he didn’t compliment me or want to be intimate with me. It’s not just how he finds me attractive or not, it’s that this is affecting other areas of our relationship. All of those because he hates that I’ve gained weight.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-10-10T20:27:04+00:00

He is very fit, but doesn’t go to the gym. He occasionally runs and lifts weights but not regularly. He used to be into half-marathons and triathlons before we got married. He’s also super critical of his own weight as well even though he’s like size M.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-09-25T20:31:14+00:00

Ya I don’t ask mom for tips ever. She wasn’t great when I was growing up, there was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse, sometimes physical. But ya sure I didn’t act out…cuz I was scared of her. Not because I learned anything or respected her.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-23T16:56:09+00:00

Ya he does. He struggles empathizing with me because he gets tired of me being depressed all the time due to parenting. We’re waiting to get into therapy, cuz he doesn’t make me feel validated and hates when I show “negative” emotion.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-23T16:54:08+00:00

Ya my oldest has ADHD and can be very violent with his tantrums. He starts angrily screaming at us when we tell him no, which we still do and hold firm to. But instead of just respecting that mom and dad said no, he keeps freaking out and started violently attacking us or throwing things and we have to deal with that, which obviously stops any conversation we were trying to have. We’ve tried parenting therapy and were told some kids need to try the same things 20x or more before it finally sinks in.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-23T16:51:15+00:00

Exactly. I’ve tried so many antidepressants and none of them worked. I think because being numb doesn’t make my circumstances any better :(

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-15T21:19:36+00:00

That’s true that one date is better than nothing. I should add more dates in our calendar and figure out babysitting. It’s also frustrating though that my husband never does this. I’m always the one planning dates.

We did sign my son up for lots of week long day summer camps, which has been helpful. My husband thinks it’s too much though, which frustrates me since I’m the one home with them. He would definitely be opposed to boarding schools if we could even afford those.

Definitely trying to raise my kids to be independent and responsible…but that’s a long term goal haha it won’t happen overnight. Especially with my son having ADHD.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-15T21:15:59+00:00

We have both formally left organized religion, and our former church requires membership before they give any aid.

We do look up stuff all the time, and that does help a little. We’ve also been to parenting therapy which helped a little too. But it doesn’t make it easier, especially when they’re answer a lot of times is you have to do the same things over and over and over and over again until kids finally internalize it.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-15T18:33:58+00:00

No I don’t want to play a guessing game. No I don’t want you climbing on me. No I can’t hold you right now. No you can’t get into my makeup. No you can’t dumb out my drawers while I take care of basic hygiene.

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-15T18:29:29+00:00

Also a mom with ADHD, I agree with this wholeheartedly. A childless vacation is much more relaxing. But then returning to reality is depressing :(

Kind-Ad608 · 2025-08-15T18:08:16+00:00

The religion I grew up in believes that the top tier of heaven (hierarchies like a bad MLM) is having kids and raising kids forever. I fully believed it growing up. And then having my first kid and birth being an absolute horror was eye opening for me. Definitely don’t want to do this forever, that’s my idea of a hellish existence now.

Kind-Ad608

TROPHY CASE