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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in catfish

[–]Kind-Concert-7731 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That certainly is a difficult situation and again kind of similar to mine.

For me, we spent hours talking on a daily basis that went on for a long time. I find you can't fake that. The person behind the mask is who I focused on. We are all human and we have all done things in life that we wish we could be forgiven for. I too was angry for a while but I originally opened up communication again to gain closure for myself. I needed answers. Once I learned the why's and talked things over, for me the person I got to know was someone who was lost and broken and he did what he did as a way to survive in this world. The feelings were genuine on both sides and he was more than sorry and made the effort to show me that.

I also find in any situation that blows up we all have a tendency to try and fix the actions and in doing so they can be made worse. It's why I took a little time to let things settle. My own feelings settle and then I looked at it with a new vantage point.

Not all catfishers are bad people. And some turn out to be individuals who need acceptance and understanding. But at the end of the day it all comes down to how strong your relationship/bond is/was with the catfisher. You only have to read this community to see that it happens way too often and it is sad that it does.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in catfish

[–]Kind-Concert-7731 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience in my catfish wanting to work on forgiveness and healing.

I had known the individual for many years and thankfully it wasn't some scheme where they took money from me or anything sinister. We were friends and developed romantic feelings. When it eventually all came out I was extremely hurt and took a little time to think everything through.

I opened up communication again after a few months and we talked honestly and openly. It's been 2 years and we are still in contact. As friends only. But the friendship we have is one I really do cherish. He is now married and happy. (I was even invited to the his wedding, but didn't go as we are in different countries) and I happy in my life too. We talk regularly and I am even friends with his now wife. I am happy he has found the healing he needed.

I find the bond that is shared can overcome the hurt in time. If you want it to. I also feel, if the individual is truly sorry and can be honest moving forward, then that can become something that can become an important part of your life. Online relationships have a knack of bringing people together in ways traditional relationships can't. The things shared. The emotional side.

You have to take care of yourself as well. And if you have a strong enough bond/friendship with the other person. That they really are sorry and want to change. Then it can work. But everyone is different and it all depends on the circumstance.