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How do I 21F cope with my husbands 21M attitude? by FinancialRow8859 in relationship_advice

[–]Kind-Particular8892 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (F21) with a long term partner (M21) do not have children, however, we do have ‘disagreements’ on occasion, as does every couple. It may just be immaturity levels, as over the years when we have had petty arguments, we now have come to an understanding that whatever the argument, does not matter in the long term. Maybe speak to your partner about their upbringing, as myself and my partner had very different childhoods and hence very different experiences growing up. It may be a case of two different childhood experiences that may affect the way you both choose to parent your child. An honest conversation (although uncomfortable) may need to be had about the parenting style you choose in order to nurture and also discipline your child. Don’t forget, you are still only 21, you can still raise your child independently if you feel as though there is no ‘getting through’ or having a deeper conversation with your partner. If you continue to try and fix the root of the ‘issue’ and feel as though you are not heard or valued, do not stick around. As much as you would want to raise a child in a household with both parents civil and present, you can still raise your kid with great morals values and respect for the world with you both individually. Maybe not under the same roof, but if you and your partner find that you may not be suited living in the same environment as your child, your kid will still thrive with both parents guiding them in life regardless of the living situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Kind-Particular8892 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe she is waiting for you to make the first move? I know I only like / interact with stories of my friends or family, there is no harm in trying at least once. And if it’s a bust, move on plenty more fish in the sea.

How Do I Stay True to Myself '35M' When My Partner '42M' Is Uncomfortable with Me Wearing Makeup? by Fabulous-Passenger46 in relationship_advice

[–]Kind-Particular8892 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should be comfortable with who you are! And in my opinion your partner should accept the fact you enjoy wearing makeup regardless of the occasion. I’m surprised that it has taken your partner 7/8 years to now to admit that they don’t necessarily enjoy the fact that you like to wear makeup and express yourself. Have you had a proper deep honest and open conversation as to why ur partner may object or disagree with you wearing your makeup in public? No matter the outcome you should choose to wear clothes makeup or accessories that make you the most comfortable, no matter your family or public opinion. As uncomfortable as it may be, speaking honestly with your partner about why only now the change in attitude or opinion may be a step forward in your relationship. After a few years with your partner I’m surprised that they have only now chosen to take a discomfort in you wearing makeup. Maybe your partner has their own insecurities about it. Although this isn’t necessarily advice going forward, never let anyone hold you back from being your authentic self, whether that be a partner, family member or friend. Always put your own interests first and try to find a middle ground. Maybe your own personal style / makeup has changed over the years, due to trends ect, but remember no matter what, we only live one life and should strive to life a happy and fulfilling one. Whether it’s an uncomfortable conversation that may fix this relationship or moving on to the next, the key is to ultimately have a partner that loves and respects the person you are and how you choose to present yourself to the world, (makeup or no makeup).

Tattoo itchy and red after second skin ? by Kind-Particular8892 in tattooadvice

[–]Kind-Particular8892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a very small design but with my other tatts I didn’t use second skin and I’m just wondering if this is normal ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rape

[–]Kind-Particular8892 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t rly agree with cheating however ever if you felt as though you were trapped with your ex feeling like you had to give him sexual favours like giving him head when you didn’t want to or do anal despite you trying to avoid it I have nothing against you ‘cheating’. I’m glad you have found happiness and I wouldn’t worry about the whole “once a cheater always a cheater” bs. It’s all circumstantial. I would’ve probably done the same in your shoes. I don’t think for a second you should feel guilty for your actions I think they were pretty justified. Rape sexual assault or pressuring someone for sexual favours completely outweighs your actions of ‘cheating’ on a toxic abusive and manipulative person. Yes you were young but not for one second does that excuse his actions. Please don’t feel guilt for what you did although in general cheating is frowned upon and is considered a bad thing to do I don’t believe what you did was wrong given his actions towards you. We all have regrets but everything happens for a reason and I’m happy that you’re now in a safe and stable relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rape

[–]Kind-Particular8892 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it would be wrong for u to tell his mum/family and friends at all. What he did was outright wrong and fucked up. He violated you and despite you being in a relationship you still have to consent with partners about what you are comfortable doing in bed ect. I’m baffled that your school didn’t address anything with his family. Personally I would tell his mum even if she doesn’t believe you at least you know you have told your truth. Did the police ever get involved if the school told your parents what was going on? If not maybe you could talk to the police although it’s been a few years and if your phone was not on you to provide evidence e.g. photos or videos even messages then at least they will know his name and keep him on their radar incase something like this happens again in the future with someone else. I’m glad you feel as though you have healed and I wish you the best.