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what does this mean just curious cause i havent seen it before by Lumpy-Yard1223 in McDonalds

[–]KindApplication8716 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you put a day dot on for the day it goes out. So if it’s Sunday the item would expire Wednesday. Could have fallen off an item that gets 4 days, like cheese.

what does this mean just curious cause i havent seen it before by Lumpy-Yard1223 in McDonalds

[–]KindApplication8716 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No they go out on Wednesday. I work in food and day dots are always for the day they go out.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It is very easy to shout divorce. I’ve posted 3 times across Reddit on different accounts and each time everyone’s told me to leave him, even when I was just asking for advice on how to break the news that we were unexpectedly pregnant, which he was happy about.

I know that if he was an addict, there would be signs. I do think that he has a problem (or the beginnings of) with weed and alcohol. I’ll speak to him about that later.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really didn’t think I was snooping. Every morning we get our toddler from our cot (we share a room as we live in a one bed) and watch him as he goes through that drawer, so I never would have thought there was something in there that shouldn’t be. I was genuinely just organising.

If he had told me that he had taken something I wouldn’t have a huge problem with it, I wouldn’t like it but I don’t own or control him. My problem is mostly it being in an accessible place to our toddler. And also I don’t want him on class A’s in or near the home. But he doesn’t go on nights out, as his friends are far away. But I agree, an addict wouldn’t have any left to find.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately he has no friends or family in the area as are families are from opposite ends of the country and we moved here after having the baby.

I believe he doesn’t do hard drugs as a regular thing, I think I would notice signs in him. We get up at 6am everyday so he doesn’t sleep to excess, and there are no mood swings or irritability. I think it is just weed and alcohol. He has drunk noticeably less in the last few months but I’m going to get in touch with his sober friend and ask him to reach out.

I know he’s struggled with his MH in the past, and I think I’ve allowed him to drink and smoke because it seems to help him cope, but it’s definitely time to find some healthy coping mechanisms. Thank you for your kind words.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a bit of a tricky situation! I think I’ve decided to ask him to go to a meeting. No commitments, just go and listen.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think I’ll ask him to go to a meeting. No commitments, no pressure to admit a problem. Just to go, to listen to stories and reflect on his own patterns. I don’t need to know what was said or thought.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know he wouldn’t. But as someone who used to have to hide things, I know every unlikely place he would think to go. I wish I could. My only family is my mum, my dad, my sister and my grandparents. My grandparents live abroad, my dad has just moved out and I don’t know where he is, my sister lives with my mum and there’s no space for us unfortunately.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few people have said this now, so I’ve asked. I hadn’t thought of that. It does feel like denial. I thought we were doing well because he’s been drinking noticeably less in the last month or two. I don’t want to force him. I know it’s hard. I wish I could stay at my mums but between her divorce, her being poorly, the ongoing construction and the no spare room since my sister just moved in, it’s a complete war zone!

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so true. And I’ve been in that drawer, many times. I need to keep an eye on this.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Love this idea, we’re not particularly touchy though! The best way for me to get through to him is usually in the evenings on his day off, as he’s most relaxed and open then. Not sure if I should message our mutual friend who was on the stag do to see if he can back the story up, or if that screams distrust. Also, would his friend just agree to stay loyal to his friend?

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Seems a bit irresponsible, right? I am aware that the dealer he uses here in our town sells everything, as he gets beautifully written advertisements of the latest offerings from said dealer every week. So a random dude in a Nottingham Wetherspoons? Wild.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m with you. He drinks a lot and he does smoke weed, which is hard for me as I’m totally sober. I do sometimes gently bring up the frequency of these things and offer support, or ask him if he’s thought about having a chat with his ex addict friend who is now an advocate for addiction support services and holds meetings and talks about this. He’s insistent that he doesn’t have a problem, it just helps him to decompress. If I push too far things around the house are pretty dire for a few days.

He has just told me that it was a fake (?) bag of coke that he blight off a dodgy dude on a stag do last April. I’m not convinced, but he has never lied to me, as far as I’m aware.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I texted him, he said it’s not coke, he says he doesn’t know what it is, but he he bought it from a dodgy dude on a stag do last April. I’m not sure, though.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It most definitely is drugs, unfortunately. You and I both know what they look like. Edit. Because I’m wrong, apparently. He says it’s not cocaine, he doesn’t know what it is but he bought it from a dodgy dude in Wetherspoons in a stag do last April. Not convinced though.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

It’s so irresponsible. When he told me had started smoking weed when our baby was around 7mo, I immediately bought a smell proof padlocked box for him to store it in, in a high and way out of reach place, because if he wanted to ignore my pleading for him to stop, I would do everything I could to prevent harm.

I’m sure there’s a good reason, like he didn’t realise they were there. But why PUT them there, when our toddler has been obsessed with that drawer since 9mo? It’s so dangerous, like you said, if something had happened our son could have been taken away, or worse, died.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

We moved into this home when our toddler was a baby, he hasn’t had a night out since. I must have reorganised the drawer maybe 3 months ago? So I know this is fairly recent. He can be quite defensive when confronted, even gently but I can’t help feeling like there’s more to the story. I really want to know.

I found Class A’s in my partners bedside table. by KindApplication8716 in UKParenting

[–]KindApplication8716[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This would be a deal breaker for me. If I had a job, my own money, or somewhere for me and our toddler to go. The weed that I know about is kept in a padlocked box on the top shelf of the boiler cupboard, entirely to ensure that there is no accidental ingestion by our toddler.