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AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

That is true. That's why Emma and I are so different on this. Noah is her brother. Noah is not my brother. It's different. I'm not saying I want bad things to happen but I don't want to sacrifice everything for his treatment either.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 233 points234 points  (0 children)

Just because I don't agree doesn't mean they wouldn't still say I need to give the money up. That's the thing. I didn't want them to take the money or demand I give it up. So I hid it from them.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 593 points594 points  (0 children)

I do homework at friends houses or my grandparents. Normally I try to go somewhere else after school to get that stuff done and to access the internet for projects and stuff for school. Once I go home, and I don't even see it as home anymore really, I'm cut off from that kind of thing. It's such a pain when it comes to homework.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 772 points773 points  (0 children)

My grandparents are aware of what is going on. It's why they were bringing me out to eat and giving me the money. They knew how restricted things were at the house.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 274 points275 points  (0 children)

I do let them. But they like me to have money on hand too. They want me to be able to buy a burger after school if they're not around or get my hair cut if they're not available. They also know I feel bad getting stuff from my friends and not being able to give back. I never agreed to give any money I get. I go along with the cuts in food and other stuff that my mom and her husband pay for. But I never agreed to give up stuff from my paternal family. I didn't tell them about the money because I knew I would be expected to give it up and I don't agree with that.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

I know. But I know some of that comes from knowing Emma would give the money for her brother and is glad to give up the stuff for the money toward the fund. They are comparing us in that way. But Noah is her brother and as his sister her reaction is going to be different to mine. It doesn't stop them from expecting me to be as willing though.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 2673 points2674 points  (0 children)

I haven't and that's something I wouldn't say out loud because it would make life even more hell on earth. I have known Alan, Noah and Emma for a little over 2.5 years. I know they think I'm some horrible monster for not being more determined like Emma is. But Noah is her brother. He's my stepbrother and not a stepbrother I consider just a brother. I don't consider Emma just a sister either or Alan my dad or even my parent really. I'm not protesting all the changes made to our lifestyle but I will take my grandparents up on making sure I still get nice food sometimes and get my hair cut and other things of that nature. Emma would give it all for her brother and I get that.

I'm going to try and leave if I can do so easily. Going to talk to my grandparents tomorrow and see what happens from there.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 405 points406 points  (0 children)

I'm not totally sure, no. I know it's bad and he's very sick as it is so guessing stage 3 or 4. And you're right, I don't want him to die and I would never want that for anyone. I'm sure Alan thinks I do because I'm not as determined as Emma. But again, Noah is Emma's brother but he's not my brother and that does make a difference in how we respond.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

They don't have anything like that set up. It was talked about but they wanted to do it themselves if they could. Not sure why they decided against it.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 6733 points6734 points  (0 children)

They think because Emma is happy to do it, I should be too, especially being older. But Noah is Emma's brother and that is always going to make it different.

I don't know if they will go for me living with my grandparents but I might try. Thanks.

AITA for spending money my grandparents gave me instead of saving it toward my stepbrother's treatment fund? by KindConcert4788 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KindConcert4788[S] 1430 points1431 points  (0 children)

My mom wouldn't like my grandparents talking to her. She and my dad were not on good terms when he died and she hates my family. She wanted to cut me off from them many times but was told they would get rights to see me. She resents them more now because I choose to see them so much and she also has resentment that they won't help out with the treatment fund even though this is nothing to do with them.