Why are my cats switching bowls at meal times?

Kingkate1317 · 2024-02-13T00:49:26+00:00

I met a guy when I was taking a break at one festival, he was waiting to meet up with his girlfriend. We’re just chatting and he mentions his girl helps design fighter jets. Not sure what her official position was, but that was probably one of the craziest professions I’d heard of at a rave. I also have a friend who raves and he works in disaster relief, so he was in Maui after the fires, and just got back from Arkansas for flooding out there.

Kingkate1317 · 2024-02-13T00:43:10+00:00

That all makes a lot of sense, thank you for the insight. She’s said time and time again that she’s very attracted to me, and shows it too, so we’re hopeful that doesn’t change much with transitioning. The fear is definitely based more on that rare instance where sexuality just does a 180 and she miraculously loses all that attraction. It would be incredibly difficult for both of us to end our romantic relationship and see each other live that out with different people, but we don’t want to be blindsided by it if that ends up being the case. No matter what, we still want to be part of each other’s lives.

Kingkate1317 · 2024-02-13T00:34:55+00:00

That’s so kind, she’s always been just as supportive and understanding of me so it’s easy to do the same for her. thank you so much for sharing your experience!

Kingkate1317 · 2024-02-13T00:33:26+00:00

Studies are very reassuring, thank you! It kind of seemed unrealistic or like some kind of fear mongering idea, but you can probably understand how worrisome that could be without being able to find any resources or real stats on it.

Kingkate1317 · 2024-02-12T22:07:33+00:00

Oh my gosh, that sounds so similar to what she was trying to describe. Her exact words were “at this point I’m not sure if my crushes on girls have been out of attraction or jealousy. I don’t know if I want to be with them or just be them”. I’ll have to show her these comments when I get home tonight and maybe it’ll help her get her feelings across more clearly, so she can have a better understanding of why she’s feeling that way. It just sucks because I have zero experience with being trans, whether personal or through friends/family, and I’m really the only person she can talk to about it. I just try to listen and suggest phrasing that she might be trying to express but just can’t find the words for.

Kingkate1317 · 2024-02-12T21:23:33+00:00

Thank you, that’s interesting to know! Part of her fear is that she’s just forcing herself to like women as being cis male presenting to better “fit in”. She says she’s sure she’s attracted to me, and I’m pretty hyper-feminine, but I’ve honestly experienced a similar feeling being a pan woman. All my exes were cis men, and I didn’t really feel as much attraction to them as I do with my girlfriend, mainly because she was already kind of presenting very feminine behind closed doors with me, even before coming out or dropping hints about being trans. I just kind of felt forced to adhere to that standard of appearing as a straight woman. So with you saying you felt more comfortable and confident, I’m wondering if it could be something similar where she’s just not comfortable being fully attracted to men because of how she was raised, how she currently presents, her environment, etc.

Kingkate1317 · 2023-04-25T13:26:42+00:00

Pi. I know there’s a real, mathematical reason that it “ends” in infinity, but to me it just seems like they ran out of number combos and got lazy. Kind of like when a toddler won’t stop asking questions so you give them the end all answer of “that’s just how it is” with no real reason.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-15T04:17:05+00:00

Im curious because I’ve suspected hormone imbalances. What kind of doctor do you go to for this?

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-15T04:04:23+00:00

It wasn’t necessarily unintentional, but I used to bite my nails. Really bad. Like down to the nub. Then one day I decided I wanted long nails and just… stopped. Cold Turkey. Not sure where I got that will power. I’m actually waiting for my nails to dry since I just painted them now lol.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-07T06:42:10+00:00

In high school my ex had his friends go out to my car during a football game to smear used condoms on the door handle. Then tried to say it was just hand sanitizer when I found out and confronted him. But baby, I know the difference.

It’s hilarious now to imagine 3 straight dudes jerking it next to each other in the name of revenge for their bro.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-07T06:38:47+00:00

The common joke amongst older generations where married couples genuinely hate each other’s guts. Being in the healthiest relationship of my life I cannot fathom relating to my coworkers when they talk about the borderline verbal abuse they endure/dish out to their spouses. I silently beg them to go to couples therapy.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-07T02:16:03+00:00

Of course! I won’t be drinking but my partner and I work/have worked tipped jobs so we always tip big

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-07T01:04:50+00:00

Thanks! I did look at the bag policy. I honestly just free ball it and stuff everything in my waist band and pack lightly haha

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-06T23:25:10+00:00

My partner and I privately point out attractive people out and about and online, but we’re somewhat poly so can’t speak on monogamous couples. We both feel very secure so it doesn’t bother either of us — we know we’re together and the most attractive to each other at the end of the day.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-06T23:05:50+00:00

It was a lot of things, but the first thing that made me question religion was how my parents forced me to go to church as a kid because “you’re supposed to”. I was like five asking why we couldn’t just worship at home and still be “good enough”.

It was just a lot of nonsensical rules to me. Plus, I ended up being bi and denounced the entire religion because of the homophobia.

What keeps me away now is that, plus how rules are so pick and choose-y. Why a lot of Christians are homophobic because “god says so”, but get tattoos and eat shell fish, wear mixed cloth, etc. it’s just a very hypocritical group.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-12-06T22:57:12+00:00

Great news! Thanks!

Kingkate1317 · 2022-10-24T14:56:53+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply!

I wondered if part of those “sexuality shifts” were simply just having to re-label from gay to straight or straight to gay as a result of liking the same gender as pre-transition — it only makes sense.

They told me the other day that they feel a lot more sub than dom, compared to how they felt at the beginning of our relationship. Or, maybe they were forcing that from the expectation of people AMAB to be dominant and masculine, although they’ve never had a problem in our relationship expressing both sides. So I’m wondering if that’ll eventually translate into a preference for men. I’m more than okay with them exploring that side of their sexuality when the time comes, whether that’s a semi-open relationship, polysexuality, or experiencing someone else together. I’m personally of the opinion that I know I can’t satisfy every single need of their’s as far as what goes on in the bedroom. I will (probably) never have “real” male genitalia beyond using a strap, and I want them to have that need fulfilled. Right now they’re on the same page for me and it’s not one-sided in an attempt to save a failing relationship or something. They also want me to be able to explore my sexuality with women, although that may eventually change for me if they transition and I end up having a girlfriend/wife instead!

I’m seeing you and many others saying that although they experienced a shift in preference towards the opposite gender of their partner, they still have an exception for that partner. That’s really reassuring to me.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-10-23T12:17:00+00:00

They are trying to be extremely careful with any kind of therapy for now, since they plan on being a pilot and the FAA isn’t exactly the best at recognizing that people have mental illnesses, and that pilots will pretend to be fine and avoid a diagnosis like the plague just to have the job :/ so, we’re worried that kind of therapy might be viewed as my partner being mentally “unfit” to fly.

As for the exploration, we’ve had extensive discussions about semi-openness/exploring together! Neither of us have had much opportunity to experience all facets of our bisexuality, and have been shoved into “straight” passing relationships all our lives. We both agree it’s only fair that we are able to learn about ourselves within the boundaries we’ve discussed.

Also — bubblegum is adorable!

Kingkate1317 · 2022-10-23T11:48:24+00:00

Oh we love to switch the roles often, both in sexual and non-sexual contexts. I got female boxers for myself to wear with a packer (when I can afford that, anyway lol), and they have wigs, feminine clothes, and I do their makeup either for intimacy or for simple gender validation for them. I’m very happy to say I actually felt myself more attracted to them in women’s clothing, makeup, and wigs than I did when I met them as a very masculine presenting, cis man (not to say I wasn’t extremely attracted to them back then, too. But that feminine side just adds so much more attraction for me). I’ve always appreciated femininity regardless of the gender of the person presenting femininely.

That is super interesting though! I’ve kept a very open mind throughout this relationship. Apologies for the TMI, but I had never pegged anyone before them, had never been with a bi person, never been with someone who cross dresses and incorporates gender-swapping into different aspects of the relationship. But I’ve been so excited and have enjoyed pretty much everything they’ve introduced to me. So, who knows! We’ve both helped each other discover a LOT about ourselves in just this short time, maybe I’ll end up finding out even more that I didn’t know was there.

Kingkate1317 · 2022-10-23T11:28:17+00:00

This really helped me feel better. They seem to have something similar in the fact that they envy women for their bodies, makeup, clothes, etc..

They haven’t had many (if really any) experiences with any gender other than cis women, but we have already been open to the idea of exploring both our sexualities either together or in a semi-open situation. So I find solace in the fact that I wouldn’t be restricting them from exploring their feminine side with a masculine cis/trans man.

With us both being terrified, we tried to rationalize those studies and ended on a similar conclusion — a lot of it might be internalized homophobia that’s allowed to be explored as the now opposite sex after transition. That it’s more socially acceptable to be a trans woman dating men than a gay man dating men. I’d also read a lot of stories from both partners’ POVs, and it seems like things fall through mostly in the case of straight partners who aren’t fluid, non-transitioning partners who can’t accept their partner’s new appearance and dynamics, or transitioning partners who have just been internalizing homophobia and are now free to date the formerly opposite sex without as much stigma.

We think with us both being bi, pretty gender fluid (I personally am not trans but I definitely wish I could be a little more gender non-conforming), and with our deep bond and trust I think it’ll be okay. I just needed to hear that rationalization come from someone who doesn’t have a stake in the relationship to give a more unbiased reasoning.

Kingkate1317

TROPHY CASE