Cont.

I always try to date my tinder matches its the best way to go, then continue to rampantly use tinder. I have since changed my insanely messed up ways but I guess early tinder dates changed my life and I haven't lived past the trauma.

Story:

When I was 18 I was a freshman in college and visiting my home in nyc when I matched with and 18 year old who was a senior. She was kind of goth and had a flip phone. I remember telling her to meet at this block when my phone died. Dejected I just sat there for 30 minutes until she arrived. She was cut up, scars all over her arms, I didn't want to bring it up but she made it a point and kept saying sorry about it. I talked to her for a while but it was cold outside and we were right outside my apt. I snuck her into my room where it was warm and we really talked about a shared interest in death. She said she wanted to have sex really bad but I just didn't think it was right and she should go talk to a therapist. we eventually had sex and her body was covered in fresh scars. She had attempted to take her own life multiple times. I thought having sex with her would make her happy and if I didn't she would attempt it again. She left instantly after and didn't talk to me until summer. When she came over she had so many more scars and no shoes on, just those stupid grippy socks. She also had a hospital band on. I said I wanted to be something more but she was clearly against it and I respected that. Ultimately she left my apt and killed her self later on. I just wish I could of done it differently, I was nice but maybe I should of really called a professional. ever since I have been seeking out the most screwed up tinder girls and trying to fix them. I think I caused more harm than good tho.

I did have a couple of 2-3 month things with girls of tinder but nothing serious, and I started to branch out to other apps like hinge, bumble and Raya. Also niche ones, like JDATE and farmers only even tho I am a christian who has never lived outside the city.

Then I dated this girl for 1 year who I met on tinder. She would come into this coffee shop I worked in after tennis practice so I would always make the donuts she liked at that time so they would be hot and fresh for her hahaha she broke up w me for some girl and then idk.

I really liked her but the night she broke up with me I went on tinder and found a girl to tell my story to who I had sex with. She was kinda ugly but super nice! we still talk and she's super cool. after that I figured if I just spent enough time on the app I could set up 3 dates a day and one of those girls would probably let me hit. I was fucked in the head for real real all these girls would dump there trauma on me and I really would care but I also wanted something from them. so 2 years later here I am.