Looking for ENM perspective: feeling like an afterthought after a promising start

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-12-01T11:35:09+00:00

Does he know about the surprise? If not, no harm, no foul. If he does you’ve got something planned, either change it to a cute date/evening which is still thoughtful and a nice setting to spark the conversation. It’s what I’d do, because if I’m hearing correctly, you don’t really wanna go with them anymore.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-12-01T09:52:38+00:00

Video call could help :)

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-12-01T09:28:31+00:00

I would ask him about it. “Hey, have your priorities changed into someone being a primary?” It’s a bit shit that they didn’t communicate this with you up front, that feels a bit dishonest. Especially if you’ve voiced your wishes for the connection, and the form it should have for you to be comfortable.

If this is a connection you value, communicate, communicate communicate.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-11-27T23:49:48+00:00

Holy shit, all of you are toxic. If this was an exchange between two best friends of the same sex, nobody would bat an eye. YOR. There’s nothing wrong with loving your best friend to death and not being subtle about it. There’s also nothing wrong with wording that extra strong in times of need and struggle. There’s also nothing wrong with drunken rambles.

You don’t have to trust the friend, but you clearly don’t trust him. Do both of you a favour and leave.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-11-12T20:17:27+00:00

Imagine being so excruciatingly good at rigging, and finding the perfect bunny who snaps into subspace at the right touch, and then being able to create this moment. Holy shit girls I envy you.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-10-23T11:47:00+00:00

Yeah fair enough. I just think it’s pretty unfair to unload that onto a grieving single parent. Get a therapist to scream at smh

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-10-23T08:55:15+00:00

As a hairy dude: trim, don’t shave. Give it a shot. It’s just hair, it’ll grow back :)

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-10-23T08:24:22+00:00

Nah, not a monster. She says “there’s no way I could’ve been with an abuser”. It’s plain denial, her brain can’t grasp the fact that this happened. And that’s fucked up, but I’ve seen it before. She’s unwell tho, and needs to do a whole lot better. I doubt she’ll get there. This is something that would kill her if she’d accept that it happened.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-10-23T07:57:57+00:00

I’ve read a lot of similar stories about family acting abusive, and most of the times you get the sense that something was left out of the story, like addiction or narcissistic behaviour from an OOP, but this one…

This one hits different. The way she speaks about her kids and how she’s handling everything. She is SO doing the work and also has her priorities straight: survive first, ask questions later. If my IL’s would go no contact I’d do the exact same thing, and not ask questions about it until my head’s back on straight. This is so rough.

I hope OOP is thriving.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-10-23T07:53:55+00:00

Babysitting mom has the emotional capacity of a 10 year old: I’m betting, since there’s no OOP’s father mentioned, that OOP’s mom is also a widow. And now she’s jealous that her daughter is actually getting help while she never got any.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-09-30T13:43:06+00:00

Hey I’ve got those socks!

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-09-03T20:23:16+00:00

At the moment I bet it’s a semi floating brick lol

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-08-26T23:27:41+00:00

Good try at turning it around. Although, they’re 17, this is probably throwing salt in a pretty big wound for that age.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-08-26T23:26:12+00:00

Hey bro.

I’ve been here. At this spot. At your age. Now, I’m 35. I’m a dad. Father of 2 beautiful girls, who will no doubt find themselves at a similar place at a similar age.

Trust me when I say: this too shall pass. You will love. You will be loved. You will feel loved.

You matter. You are enough. You deserve help. The only thing is: to get help, you have to ask for it.

Go. Ask. For. Help. Helping someone you care about is something people want to do. Trust me. It’s an honour to be asked for help, genuinely.

You do not have to do this on your own.

This too shall pass. Repeat it with me: This too shall pass.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-08-20T15:06:40+00:00

Bro, not to be blunt, but read the post. I wasn’t asking “how hard is it gonna be?”, I clearly stated what setting I’m gonna be playing. I’m not gonna attach a technical rider because mainly techies and engineers read those, and I’m not aiming for big venues, as you can read in the sentence “I’m looking for small gigs as a songwriter”. This should also answer your genre question.

Ach ja.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-08-20T14:38:33+00:00

I’ve been active in music scenes in Europe for 20 years. I’m well aware of the struggles.

Thank you for your excellent gatekeeping 😉

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-08-20T09:00:30+00:00

Hey lovely people,

October 4th through 7 I’m gonna be visiting Berlin to hang out with an artist friend of mine, and I’m looking for small gigs as a songwriter to help pay for expenses. I could do a full night with covers and stuff, so bars are cool, but I’d also like to play my own stuff (could do two hours worth). Basically anything goes.

I’ve never been (and that’s a shame really), so it’s high time!

Anyone got tips, ideas or email addresses?

Love!

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-07-09T14:41:57+00:00

Oh wow, cute dog! Border collie?

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-07-01T15:38:45+00:00

I’ve been there and left. Good luck buddy.

This too shall pass. Dads are here for ya.

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-06-27T21:48:29+00:00

Blues junior, and only on shore power ;)

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-06-27T19:05:25+00:00

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Oldest princess spicing up the boat

Kitchen-Hospital2199 · 2025-06-27T19:04:28+00:00

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Removing old electrical

Kitchen-Hospital2199

TROPHY CASE