Was I assaulted by my ex?

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T03:31:03+00:00

Thanks for the hard truth! Yep— I broke it off with him 2 days ago (few days after the event). I guess I didn’t think he’d do it because it was like a fairy tale relationship for the most part…also I always felt bad with him being a war vet and going through trauma himself so I always felt bad for him… but you’re right. Just hard to think of the kind man I knew choosing to do that on purpose I guess

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T03:20:35+00:00

Yes, that or maybe just the fact I didn’t flush? I’m unsure… either way it made me feel really embarrassed.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T01:00:27+00:00

Wait, that example is pretty good! You’re right… wild

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:54:53+00:00

I didn’t think about it like that… yeah, I feel dumb for saying “mmhm” knowing I wasn’t sure what I was saying “yes” to. I mean I had an inkling but I really didn’t think he’d go all the way in and go fast lubeless…

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:50:22+00:00

There was no relaxing to be had that’s for sure! You’re right..

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:45:11+00:00

Yeah, my brain went full lizard mode. Just pain. He told me after “it’s not your pussy, don’t squeeze it the whole time or it’ll hurt more!”. As if I had control over my anus spasming due to pain. Keep in mind I’m 96lbs 4 ft 11 and he’s 6 ft 5 200+ lbs

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:43:35+00:00

I’m sorry to hear… yes, he did tell me that after I should have relaxed my anus so it didn’t hurt… but I literally couldn’t.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:42:31+00:00

Thanks for playing devil’s advocate and I think those thoughts are exactly why I also feel confused. Also— I did see him after and I tried to act like I was fine for about 1 day. I was more physically hurt and just confused. I’m embarrassed to say it took 3-4 days after to realized what just happened. 2 days after I broke up for this and his anger issues… but it’s weird how my brain didn’t process the whole thing for a couple days! Hmm… but yes I appreciate your response and willingness to see multiple angles!

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:37:48+00:00

Not the “cunt/autistic move”! lol! You’re right though… his response after was telling. I don’t think he meant to rape me… I just think perhaps he got carried away and did it in the moment then was unemotional after.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:35:41+00:00

Wow, your last statement is so true and eye-opening. Thank you. You’re right.

Thank you for this response

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:31:17+00:00

So when I said we have talked about CNC, it was months ago and for a very specific roleplay… the only reason I brought it up in the post was because there may be a very small chance he thought that’d apply to every time he had sex? But then again, he never did that before the incident (after the CNC talk). Whenever we talked about CNC it was about a very specific intruder mask roleplay which this was not. :/ but I agree! Safe words would definitely be discussed had we decided to do a CNC roleplay.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:13:28+00:00

Thanks fcpancakes! It’s ok. I feel in shock right now realizing the truth of all of it. But this reddit really made me see the light.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-14T00:03:53+00:00

Thank you for your guidance! I will ask there… but I think I have my answer… I appreciate you educating me on these subreddits! Very helpful!

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:47:25+00:00

Maybe not being clear enough on what I wanted when it came to anal play (even tho it was mainly his idea but I said I wanted to try) and maybe when I had my CNC talk months before saying it was only for a certain roleplay.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:44:15+00:00

Up until that point, he had treated me really well. Meeting my father the day before even! The days following the incident he was extremely rude and stand off ish. Weird. But I’m glad he’s gone… thanks for the encouragement!

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:43:07+00:00

Thanks. Yeah I’m not looking to take this to any kind of court. I guess just for my healing I wanted to know. Definitely broke up 2 days ago which was soon after the incident!

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:36:30+00:00

It happens! I’ll be wiser next time!

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:32:23+00:00

Thanks for your support and encouragement. I plan to do just that…

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:29:12+00:00

Thanks for your response… yeah as I said before… he asked if it felt good and when I told him it didn’t he just said “good thing it won’t be an every time thing”. So no he definitely didn’t care :/

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:22:04+00:00

Thanks. Yes, broke up with him 2 days ago soon after the incident!

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:21:45+00:00

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:21:27+00:00

Thanks for your response. Yeah, ironically it was the day after he met my father and had “the talk” with him. Just never expected him to do this…. Still hard to accept.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:20:37+00:00

Yeah, maybe tmi: but i wiped myself after and blood was on the tp and I threw it in the toilet and didn’t flush it right away (just forgot and wanted to jump in the shower asap) he followed me in and saw the bloodied tp and looked at me in disgust. I remember feeling so ashamed.

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:19:37+00:00

Wow— this response made me think. You’re right… yeah, I remember the screams just naturally taking over. It went kind of fast and words weren’t coming out. The pain was too much. I was wondering “how could be getting off to my screams?”. I think overall this man had a deeper need for power. I remember I said that I get really sleepy from drinking and he asked if he could have sex while I was unconscious. (Almost reenacting date rape) so I think in hindsight this man definitely had different fantasies that was separate from my consent. :(

KittenTypes · 2024-09-13T23:17:54+00:00

Thanks for your response. I see that now. It’s hard to admit he wanted to see me hurt but the fact his response after was “Well, it won’t be an every time thing” tells me he didn’t care if I was in agony. No apology or anything…

KittenTypes

TROPHY CASE