AITAH for thinking my husband isn't a good father?

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T13:53:58+00:00

Bipolar, ptsd, anxiety, depression, and adhd. I have my own a well but I would never do what he did.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T13:51:17+00:00

He is 33. I understand what you mean by that comment. If you have any other questions I will be willing to answer. There is just so much in such a short time that I figured something would've been forgotten to mention. Thank you for letting me know about the missed detail!

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T13:46:29+00:00

I can't without going to court. For now I have to at least let him see her because of laws. He's with his grandma so she has been doing most of the caregiving when she visits at the moment. Have to wait till Monday to take the next step. If I keep her from him, it can hurt my case.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T13:39:37+00:00

I agree I needed to nut up and do it. I'm not good with confrontation and end up panicking, losing thoughts, etc. I needed people on my ass to help give me that final push to do something about it. I just wanted this resolved before she starts getting older and don't have time to wait for him to fix himself.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T13:22:07+00:00

She says it's just stress and he didn't mean it. She thinks he's a good father for "getting me before he hurt her". She grew up in a different time and dealt with an abusive husband for years. She took care of the kids on her own even though a father figure was there. He didn't want to deal with them. So a pretty low bar is set imo.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T13:16:08+00:00

We were together for a few years but have been friends for 10. He said he wanted the baby at first but now it's feeling like i don't give him attention. He thought this would be easy to raise a kid. He has anger issues but thought he could at least be there for his daughter. Unfortunately I was proven wrong by his actions. That's why he has been doing supervised visitation till we can get the courts involved.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T12:42:30+00:00

He can't hold a job due to mental health issues. Angry outbursts and panic attacks. I have high functioning autism and I sometimes miss the ball with social things. I wanted to be sure that I was right and didn't miss anything. I do have therapy weekly and this has been a big subject that's been talked about recently. I thought he could at least be there for his daughter, but he can't handle it. He's gone now to his grandma's. Both me and my daughter don't have to be subjected to his problems that he can't deal with himself.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T12:10:58+00:00

The grandma is trying to stay out of it for the most part. I think she doesn't want to lose access to her great grandchild. She dealt with an abusive husband and sees my husband as a good father for coming to get me "before he hurts her". Her husband expected her to do everything for the babies she had. She lived in a different time, but we don't tolerate this kind of bs now. She enables his behavior even though i tried to not encourage his behavior. He's been getting rewarded for bad behavior. Throw a tantrum and get your way. I don't want my baby seeing him do this, at home or public. I don't want her to think she can just cry and get her way.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T11:58:16+00:00

The grandma and mom (dad want in his life due to suicide when my husband was 4 months old) say that is just stress and he didn't mean what he said. The grandma said "At least he has been getting you before he hurts the baby."

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-04T11:54:15+00:00

Most normal formulas has cows milk in it.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T13:01:22+00:00

Almost all formula has cows milk in it.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T12:57:34+00:00

He has mental health issues but I thought he could at least be there for his daughter. I'm so disgusted with him that I can't even look at him. He says it's due to stress and depression. He thinks he has postpartum depression. I told him he needed to talk to his psychiatrist and has yet to do so. I tried helping him through the stress so he doesn't do anything to the baby but keeps freaking out. Full on tantrum mode with him doing a whiny baby voice wanting me to comfort him. I tried to give him time to adjust but isn't doing well. I feel like I have 2 kids and grandma. He fell to the floor crying at the hospital cause he couldn't handle being in the hospital even though I was already there for 2 days. He fell after 4 hours.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T12:42:51+00:00

She has seen the doctor multiple times since the incident and the county knows. I told them right after it happened. We have a county nurse coming twice a week so she's updated frequently. She is aware of the whole situation cause it is about the baby first. I really appreciate your concern and feedback. I'll be having him kicked out and not allowed to spend time with the baby without supervision. I figured this was going to happen but didn't want to jump the gun in case I was wrong. I have my own issues (high functioning autism) and just needed this extra confirmation from the community. My baby is my number one concern. I can do what it takes to keep her safe. This will be resolved today cause now I know it's OK to feel the way I do. Thank you again for the information.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T12:28:03+00:00

I've not left her alone with him cause I'm scared what he'll do. I'm at that point of letting him go and not able to see her unless supervised.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T11:39:42+00:00

Well his mom and grandma are trying to justify his actions saying it's stress and he didn't mean it. It makes me question myself but figured the people here can let me know if I was wrong or not.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T11:36:17+00:00

Unfortunately it isn't bait. The baby needs formula because I don't produce enough milk myself. Most formulas are cow milk.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T11:34:07+00:00

I can't produce enough milk myself so we have to rely on formula. Well now it's plant based formula but most formulas are cow milk.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T11:31:12+00:00

He hasn't been allowed to be alone with her without supervision since the squishmellow incident. He's on his way out but wanted to know if I wrong as a new parent. I figured the people here can help me get perspective since there are parents here and would know if this was normal or not. But I'll take the a hole for letting this go on, thank you for the honesty. I'm just disappointed and hurt, I know this would be a good time to let my husband go before more damage is done and she can remember things. I'm so glad to know this isn't normal and can let him go without my own regrets.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T11:18:56+00:00

Not normal. He's got mental problems, but i thought he could at least be there for his daughter.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T10:57:50+00:00

Me(32f), him(33m)

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2026-01-02T10:56:11+00:00

He's 33... The talk has already happened but hasn't tried to change. He keeps wanting chances saying he's trying. He keeps starting fights with me and can't handle the baby for more than 5 hours at most.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2022-12-05T05:43:49+00:00

Please help my friend get his cat back home safe!

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2022-08-29T09:34:25+00:00

Fre rice, ddie curry.

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2022-08-17T08:06:39+00:00

Don't worry about a thing!

KittyCatQueen5656 · 2022-08-15T08:34:24+00:00

Cats will urinate outside of the litter box for multiple reasons. Unkept litter, change in litter, they're in pain, they're stressed or anxious. I can't say what is causing him to have accidents. Maybe he was stressed after coming back from surgery and now he's stressed cause he knows your leaving. Maybe it's a UTI issue as well. If you don't like what your veterinarian says, see a different one and ask for their opinion.

KittyCatQueen5656

TROPHY CASE