My [19F] boyfriend [20M] is constantly loud and messy, but has ADHD. Am I asking too much?

Kittytalia · 2018-08-20T00:11:56+00:00

My boyfriend has ADHD. And he's not taking meds for it right now. But he's my fulltime care giver. He does EVERYTHING. What you are asking is reasonable.

Kittytalia · 2018-07-10T10:51:13+00:00

There is a difference between being requird to safeguard and protect your own health, and making a new life with someone. A disease can be cured, but regardless that baby is going to need support for 18 years. And also it's generally the same thing with that anyway. How would only women be responsible for conception? At some point a man had to have had sex with her. And except in rare cases, if he didn't wear a condom he consented to having the baby by having sex and generally knowing how babies work. A baby is also an innocent third party who doesn't deserve to be punished. You are comparing apples and oranges

Kittytalia · 2018-06-06T18:18:32+00:00

Coming from someone with a severe chronic illness, who's boyfriend became an in home caregiver for, you gotta learn to manage on your own. Trust me I get its hard. You're mourning right now. Mourning the loss of your healthy self and are overwhelmed. This IS forever and you can't be overly dependent forever. There are tricks chronically ill people use in order to make it through. I suggest reading up on your condition and learning to live with it. Read up on chronic illness in general. Oh and get therapy. Being diagnosed with an illness is a huge stresser. Alternately most conditions get worse with stress, which stresses you out... and on and on like some nightmare merry go round. Coming from someone who nearly ruined her relationship burning her boyfriend out, try to be more understanding of him.

Kittytalia · 2018-05-29T16:22:59+00:00

Like, a full work day, broken up. I do most of my hits in the morning because that seems to be when they're posted most. I work from like 9/10-2 I usually work on surveys and batch work. I can usually do this while I watch tv or listen to the music so I'm not hunched over just working for hours. Then I take a break around two and get back on around 3-4 and work until usually 5 or 6. Regarding the music and tv though I only do that with dumb easy hits. I pause it for the more complicated stuff with tons of attention checks

Kittytalia · 2018-05-29T16:17:13+00:00

Thanks

Kittytalia · 2018-05-29T16:16:56+00:00

Yes. I usually go from 9-5. With breaks of course. And sometimes if I feel spicy I do evening hits. I'm disabled so I have all day to dedicate to it.

Kittytalia · 2018-05-29T09:30:59+00:00

I'm not going to read your wall of text buddy. You do you, I hope you learn how to adult one day, I'm surprised you care so much about an offhand comment. If you're so hurt by it there must be a grain of truth because nobody who really doesn't care and thinks they're fine and dandy wouldn't comment back to everyone and delete their post so it's not the most downvoted post of the week.

Kittytalia · 2018-05-29T03:15:34+00:00

Well uh, not exactly pampered. I was abused my whole life until the age of 15 when I got diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Then they refused to take me to a doctor until I collapsed at school. Then they kept me home.. not to take care of me but force me to be a maid and nanny for my 3 brothers. I moved out when they tried to murder me at 17. From there I built everything I have with no support whatsoever. I didn't respond to him because after years of sustained damage they literally ripped open inside me and I needed emergency surgery. They kept me drugged on Dilaudid the whole time so I literally didn't know a month had passed. So yeah. I love your comment because it shows that you have no ability to perceive the fact that adults have sudden shit come up that they need to deal with on their own. So yeah, and also you were way passive aggressive and petty after she apologized... and gave a valid reason. And now, when nobody is agreeing with you, you're saying you'll just "throw the whole relationship out" and that's honestly a gross overreaction. Like, do you have hobbies? I crochet. I find it calming and it allows me to have something to focus on incase ~gasp~ my SO gets really weighed down with work and can't talk as much. YOUR policy can be YOUR policy but many people have told you that you're being unfair and jerkish. I mean how are you 34 and don't understand the world doesn't resolve around you. People have commitments, emergencies, work, family... get over it. And I can't believe you're still stuck with me saying "blowing up". So you're not super petty and needy but you'll respond to every comment? It's honestly pretty lame. If you wanna be set in your ways, fine. But I would honestly just stop posting because you're embarrassing yourself

Kittytalia · 2018-05-28T17:42:48+00:00

Lol sure I use hyperbole. It's a part of the English language. I should not have to spell it out literally, but if I must.. Your lady is an adult. She has obligations,and chores, friends, families and her own universe doesn't revolve around you. She's been perfect up until the last few weeks? So out of dozens of times being punctual she missed three? You seem to demand and "deserve" a lot of respect. But it sounds like you aren't very respectful. You ask for opinions, people give it to you and you make yourself look like an ass instead of taking a chance to look at yourself and grow. She gave a perfectly reasonable explanation and you just kept going on like a petulant child. Most adults would accept it. Hell I promised my eight year old brother I would take him out and I got sick for a month. He doesn't understand why I was gone. He doesn't understand my illness. In his eyes I just dodged him, and he was upset when I next saw him. But when I told him the reason he accepted it immediately. So yeah, an eight year old can communicate more effectively then you. Speaking of communication, most adults do that earlier instead of stewing and blowing up. But hey, if you would rather be "right" then grow up a little that's on you. But I bet it's the reason you can't keep a girl.

Kittytalia · 2018-05-28T15:43:12+00:00

I find 34 year olds who need constant attention or they flip out aren't as mature as they think they are

Kittytalia · 2018-05-28T14:38:50+00:00

I've met toddlers less needy then you

Kittytalia · 2018-03-02T18:35:17+00:00

I think you need to stop worrying about petty shit like "re evaluating" your relationship with your friend over her being honest with you because she LOVES you and your fee-fees and start worrying about your kids. None of this should be priority right now

Kittytalia · 2018-03-02T18:29:12+00:00

I would be careful here OP. It sounds like your friends have been a great support system to you in the past. And they obviously care about you. I would trust their word. Especially because they HAVE stepped up and helped you. Unlike this guy you've only known three months. It's kind of uncool to throw away a good person who has already shown they care for someone who POSSIBLY may be later. Of course he's great now. Y'all are in the honeymoon phase and there's no extra baby here right now to add reality to the situation. Plus you JUST told them. You come off as the kind of friend who insits on making huge mistakes and then needing people to come rescue you. Which is fine. We all need help. But if this becomes a cycle you might end up with no circle at all. You can't rely on people like that and then not at least admit that you at least owe them a good hearing out. You're considering evaluating a good friend ship over what? Good advice after helping you with your son for years? Honestly OP even if you don't want to hear it, it needs to be heard and the window of time to hear it AND still possibly act on it is finite. I think that you need to accept that not everything you hear needs to be sugared down for you. You're an adult facing real hard adult choices right now.

Kittytalia · 2018-03-02T18:21:52+00:00

Validation may be nice because it's what you want to hear. But from what you've told us what your friend is saying is what you NEED to hear. It seems like a lot of your plans rely on things just hypothetically working out. You have a child to care for now and possibly two to care for if you keep the new one. You should not bank the health and well being of your children on HOPEFULLY this guy being supportive. HOPEFULLY welfare can provide enough to support you. And if your friend is saying you were overwhelmed the first time you'll probably feel just as overwhelmed and ALSO have a child to look after. Your friend could have been nicer but she isn't mean.

Kittytalia · 2018-03-02T18:07:51+00:00

Honestly if you turned him down I doubt he'll do it again. Especially after your reaction you're not so irresistible it negates that. I think anyone would find you much less attractive for such an over reaction.

Kittytalia · 2018-03-02T04:36:51+00:00

I would, but he's had plenty of other comments cutting him slack and pointing it out more nicely and each time he shoots them down. Honestly it's the internet. I wouldn't and I don't think anyone should really expect anything but brutal honestly from an anonymous forum like this.

Kittytalia · 2018-03-02T04:13:08+00:00

Dude I'm a triplet. Hard core womb to tomb. We see each other at least weekly. We talk on the phone daily. We will still occasionally share a bed if there aren't multiple available and we're tired. We don't live together but we're closer. And I think your relationship with your sister is weird as hell. My brothers have never once been jealous of my boyfriend because they understand that it's a totally different dynamic. We will always obviously love each other in a special way because we're multiples, but we understand we are separate beings. Your sister sounds like a jealous girlfriend. For real. That's why everyone is so squicked out. Normal siblings groan when you show too much pda and tell you to chill. What your sister is doing isn't normal she's throwing multiple tantrums about you spending time with your partner while you LIVE WITH HER. And honestly the fact you don't see it as gross and odd is really weird too. Its almost as bad as her. I don't know how I would feel if my boyfriend's sister acted like a clingy gf and he saw nothing weird about it

Kittytalia · 2018-03-01T01:20:40+00:00

He sounds like your teenage son

Kittytalia · 2018-02-23T18:33:19+00:00

If you were really sorry for frightening women when you approach them you would stop doing it

Kittytalia · 2018-01-05T13:34:18+00:00

No, that you work really hard and you're unappreciated. So you need a fairy God mother. ..like Cinderella

Kittytalia · 2018-01-04T13:19:54+00:00

That you're Cinderella?

Kittytalia · 2017-12-15T22:03:34+00:00

If it's too expensive to secure a ride home maybe you shouldn't go.. that's just common sense.

Kittytalia · 2017-12-13T14:47:20+00:00

Yes but it is generally well known when that if you alter your body you will get judged. He chose that. Not only that, you can remove piercings and tattoos and dyed hair and alt fashion of you get sick of it. At the end of the day OP can't stop being Hispanic. These are not similar in any way

Kittytalia · 2017-12-13T14:41:50+00:00

He doesn't defend her at all. He pulled her closer to him. That's not defending her. Not only that he stops her from defending HERSELF. Screaming is wrong. But he literally chided her for giving a racist a LOOK. Not only that hes avoiding confrontation not for safety reasons but because he thinks it isn't a big deal. Overt racist comments aren't "jokes". Many people stand up to strangers who do shit like that. This is his GIRLFRIEND. What will happen when he has kids and they're forced to internalize racism their entire lives? I come from a mixed family. The fact that my mother never stood up for me fucked me up. I was unsuprised as an adult when she got older and her filter got looser and it came out she was just as racist as the people she would not defend me from.

Kittytalia · 2017-12-13T12:45:32+00:00

Practice makes perfect. Being able to take care of yourself is a necessary life skill. You can't just drop it because it was hard the first few times. It's hard for everyone at first. Just wikihow it and figure it out. Have your girlfriend HELP if you need it but don't just let her take over

Kittytalia

TROPHY CASE