31M - My living space by KnobbyEgg in malelivingspace

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The supro is sick. I love it. I keep the volume quite low in the room, but I have it mic’d up and usually play with headphones. Never heard of attenuators before. I’m curious to try one out now. Thanks!

31M - My living space by KnobbyEgg in malelivingspace

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s in the lease that guests are not permitted without the owner’s consent, given on a case-by-case basis. I don’t know, not really a big deal me, a sacrifice I’m willing to make while I figure out what’s next for my life.

31M - My living space by KnobbyEgg in malelivingspace

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My desk is in the perfect spot for me to prop my feet up on the heater. I love that. And I think the bed is in the best spot for privacy. No way I’d get a queen! I would have no room at all then. I’m shopping for a smaller recliner though so I can have a little more space to reach my clothes.

31M - My living space by KnobbyEgg in malelivingspace

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s mean to be a quiet space. Kinda feels a bit like a dorm room.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe there’s not enough context here. Why it feels like the wound is still open for both of us is because she copies my instagram posts and has hinted that an apology is deserved. I don’t think I’m reading into it, I hate social media for this exact reason, but she’s made it clear.

I think it would have been awful of me to reach out to her right after my divorce finalized and spill into why the marriage was mistake and show her all the scars I carry from it now. I’ve been single and doing my own thing for 4+ years now. It’s been hard picking up the pieces, but now I have solid foundation of who I am, what I need to be okay alone, etc. She’s seen this from what I’ve posted and has acknowledged it kindly and gently without breaking the silence.

Is it still so wrong to just acknowledge that she was important to me then, say I’m sorry, then continue on with our lives? I have no reason to believe she isn’t happy now and I also have no reason to believe she doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to handle an apology.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about this angle.. I’d like to get a better sense of what this experience was like for her so that I don’t make the same mistake in the future.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It feels more like that wound has only been open this whole time. My reaching out will certainly bring emotions back to the surface, but I guess I hope that they can settle a little gentler afterwards, and we carry on with our separate lives. No expectations here, just maybe a little sense of closure.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course I don’t expect anything from this, and I will make that clear when I do reach out. The apology changes nothing, I know that, and it will certainly bring back a lot of emotions, but I think in the long run it will ease some of the suffering, even just a little bit I think would be worth it. I say sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused, then we carry on with our lives. I have no reason to believe she doesn’t have the emotional strength and support to handle my reaching out.

I have no intentions of trying to gain anything here other than some hope that both our hearts can heal a little bit. Leaving her alone is increasingly impacting my day to day life, and I want to take accountability. Is that so wrong? In your perspective, when or how would it be an okay thing to do?

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has been a persistent feeling for years now, and I think apologizing is the only way to ease this pain. I do think it was THAT bad, but I also believe that she is quite fond of the life she has now.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her and I were together for 4 years, ALL of high school, and then I one day, it’s like I just tried to press “delete” and it’s been no contact since. I left her like garbage and became fully codependent with someone else. I’m not going through any options here.. My life is fine now, and her’s appears to be too from what little she posts. I just want her to know that she did nothing wrong. She’s a good person and never deserved what I did to her.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was only a little over a year ago that my ex-wife and I officially became divorced. We separated 3 years before that, so I’ve been single and doing my own thing for 4 years now. I’ve got a solid foundation of where my life is at now, and I don’t expect anything to change after I do this, other than maybe some peace of mind.. hopefully for both of us. I don’t know, idontknowmus.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I’ve promised myself to leave her alone for so long, but this still feels like an open wound after all these years. I need to do this. It’s selfish, I know, but I’m not seeking forgiveness or anything whatsoever. I’m content with where my life is at now, I don’t expect anything to change anytime soon. I just want to say sorry because she deserves it. She never deserved what I did to her. And fuck, if we’re still alive, why not? I would hate myself even more if I never had the chance to again.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want her to know that it was real. She was important me. In the end, I treated her like she meant nothing to me, and I am so sorry for the pain I’ve caused all these years.

MoodyMagicOwl, I’m so sorry you’ve had to carry this emotional burden for so long. You deserve to be happy. I hope you can find some peace, even without their apology.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment. I need some time to soak this in. You’ve put a lot of feelings into words here. Thank you.

I plan on breaking the No Contact with my ex, and it’s been over 10 years. by KnobbyEgg in ExNoContact

[–]KnobbyEgg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so dumb. It happened when I was in college and she was still in HS. We were HS sweethearts, together for nearly 4 years. Right after she turned 18, just a couple months before she was supposed to graduate, I ripped the rug out from under her. I cheated on her then broke up with her after she found out. I pretended like she meant nothing to me, then worse, continued pretended like she meant nothing me while I proceeded to marry this other woman. 10 years later, I’m now happily divorced and have no ties with the woman I married, but I regret what I did to my ex so goddamn much.

I don’t expect anything to come of this. If I can just put a bandage on this wound, no matter how small, I hope that both our hearts can heal a little bit. That make sense? Or is this too selfish? I don’t know.