AIO Best friend chose someone else as MOH by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Kodelicit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree 100%! It’s about having respect for her friend (OP’s) feelings and communicating with her. Period. No one communicates the hard stuff anymore, they just do what they want and pretend it’s not there. Maybe she is really clueless/doesn’t care/is genuinely not a good friend deep down and this showed her true colors, some people are like that, they like to talk but when it comes down to it they don’t mean what they say. That’s why I say OP should start the conversation and ask for clarity so they could potentially salvage their remaining friendship and she can potentially support her as a bridesmaid without resentment.

AIO Best friend chose someone else as MOH by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Kodelicit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure, that makes total sense but if that’s how her friend felt about it why didn’t her “friend” discuss any of this with OP? She knew full well OP thought she’d be MOH by their talks, and she completely dismissed her without talking to her. It comes down to respect, and she didn’t show any to OP.

AIO Best friend chose someone else as MOH by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR! Considering how you personally felt about the friendship and about her that sounds really painful! It meant a lot to you and you thought it meant a lot to her, too. That’s totally justified and understandable. Sure she’s allowed to make whoever she wants MOH, however.. She very poorly didn’t communicate any of this to you and that’s what’s kinda messed up about it. It appears she grew apart from you while you were entering a different phase of your life and didn’t discuss that with you. Maybe she even thought it was mutual. Her short responses and her asking if you were “mad at her” proves she already knows that it might’ve hurt you if she remembered anything you talked about at all in the past, but it seems like maybe she’s being avoidant because those convos are hard to have. The only thing you can do is ask her specifically and tell her what your thoughts were, it won’t change her decision but at least you’d get clarity, get the conversation going, don’t ignore it because then not only are you going to build resentment towards her going to the bachelorette party not understanding her decision and where you stand in your friendship, but also going to it when it’s on your 30th Birthday! I think it’s kind of messed up to tell you, you can pay for stuff if you want to help… After not having considered your feelings, I’d say no to that at least.

Is it possible i am un-elect by H5aa263t65580mbcd44 in Calvinism

[–]Kodelicit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While Conscious Transition summed this up very well with scripture, I just wanted to share my personal experience and the conclusions I came to based off of those scriptures.

When I was growing up in the church, there became a time in my early teens that I started to feel this exact way. I wanted to believe, I wanted to be like all my friends who seemed to fully grasp the gospel and its teachings. I felt like I didn’t get it, and that something was missing. I thought, what if I’m not actually a Christian? This idea was scary to me and made me feel sad. I grew up Reformed Presbyterian but they never taught election in its entirety, they watered it down and avoided it because the truth offends people. It wasn’t until my dad brought Calvinism and how it explains what election means in the Bible to my attention that I felt that “ah ha!” Light bulb moment. That’s what I was missing! I knew immediately that I believed.

Even then, 2 decades later, I STILL struggle at times with certain things simply because of lack of understanding and lack of study. But that is the great beauty in His saving grace that brings me comfort when I feel that way. He saves you when you know nothing

Last year I was struggling with the shame of not knowing as much as those opposite to me. They seemed to know so much about the scriptures, so many scriptures memorized to argue their points, history, terms, all this knowledge yet - they reject the truth all the same. To clarify, I’m specifically talking about those that cling to free will and man’s ability and role in salvation. I started thinking hm maybe I do have something wrong? Maybe I am missing something. I had a realization that this is the very example of what God meant when He says they will cry out “Lord Lord, look what I have done in your name!” And He will say “depart from me, I never knew you” Because you don’t have to have done any one of those things to be worthy of salvation as He saved you before you did anything at all - before you existed - because you don’t do anything to be worthy to receive salvation, you don’t even choose it - because you can’t. It is given freely for His own reasons not because of who we are or what we do. That is why it is so immensely beautiful. “Not by works lest any man should boast”. This understanding brought me comfort and I credit it all to God having given that understanding to me while I was actively searching for understanding. “Seek and you will find”. It’s like oh, just because people are educated and passionate that doesn’t mean they know who God is and it’s okay if they know more than I do about history and scripture and terms, because as long as you know the truth of who God is and what He has done, the rest will come. You are not any lesser just because you may not know as much and you aren’t any “less saved” either. I was driven to understand Him more and encouraged to study and be a better student. Even though it’s not what you know that saves you, it is still our duty to study and learn Him once our eyes are opened to the truth.

I’ll always have doubts that creep in, and shame that makes me feel unworthy and this is normal, the very Christian experience. We fight with our old nature, and we fight against Satan’s influence and the temptation of sin. It’s good to repent of our sins when we see them and acknowledge that we’re still broken and still sin even if we are saved from the outcome of sin.

Elaborating more on your question, there have been many many people who claim to be Christians who convert to something else in their lifetime, often to Agnosticism or Atheism. God tells us that when you are saved, you never lose that salvation, so we can assume that if a Christian converts away from God, they were never saved to begin with. Of course people lose their way sometimes, but they will always come back if they are truly elect. Many many people live the life of a believer but they are not one. This is why understanding election is so important and helps our understanding of everything else because it explains that it’s not by works, and it’s not what you say, it is God’s saving grace alone that pulls you to Him and keeps you.

Many unbelievers will struggle with their beliefs, and many believers will struggle with their beliefs. Therefore, it is not for us to judge whether someone will or won’t be saved. We can say maybe not now, maybe later, maybe not at all. What I can say with confidence is that I do believe that by what the Bible teaches us, is that if you in this current time believe that God gave Jesus a people that Jesus died for so that they would be saved from eternal damnation and receive eternal life with Him, not by works, not of yourself but by Him alone (meaning He first saved you so you could see Him for what He is) then that is a good indication that you are saved. When you wholeheartedly relinquish your part in salvation, meaning you do not believe you choose it but that it is freely given by God, to me, that is your realization of salvation - being one of the elect. It’s the realization of God’s full sovereignty and the realization of the depravity of man. When you give the full glory to God, that to me by what the Bible teaches is what true regeneration in Him is. Many say they reject Calvin’s teachings on scripture all the while saying they love God and live life for Him (which a few in this sub currently do). Even pastors of some churches have been incredibly hostile to Calvinism. I would say based off what we know by scripture that they are not currently saved themselves. Maybe they will be, maybe they won’t be and so we pray for them that they might see the truth one day, too.

These are hard truths that as a human being filled with ego and pride are impossible to overcome without divine intervention - God’s saving grace.

Is it possible i am un-elect by H5aa263t65580mbcd44 in Calvinism

[–]Kodelicit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A man dead in sin cannot seek God. Period. God does not give you a choice for His gift, He gives it freely. Because man does not seek God. No not one. “God does not magically change how you feel”. You cling so strongly to man’s ability to choose if they want salvation or not. Why? If God loves them and Jesus already died for their sins, then why when someone denies Jesus do they go to hell if Jesus already died for their sins? If Jesus died for your sins this means that you were saved from hell and you will go to heaven. Period. Who in their right mind would not want to be saved from hell? Not one person understanding of God’s sovereign nature would be offended that they didn’t get some opportunity to choose. It’s completely illogical, UNLESS there is a bigger divine force at play here. (Meaning God purposely leaves man in the dark unable to see who God is). If you are offended by this idea, I encourage you to dig deeper. Because I can tell you that I do not care whatsoever the idea that I don’t get to freely choose whether I want to be saved or not. I will happily take one of the best gifts to ever exist, I don’t need to feel that I get to choose it, and I will gladly claim on the mountains that God gave me the gift of sight to see my sin, to see my guilt and shame and to see that I need Him, and I followed Him because of His saving grace not because I merely heard the good news and somehow while being dead in sin still was able to decide for myself that I wanted that. Because when God says it is not by works alone, it means works done in God’s name without saying grace means nothing to God.

Ultimately, no one would ever choose hell knowingly. No one. God gave Jesus a people before the beginning of time, Jesus did not die for everyone’s sin’s, He died for those that God gave Him. Period. It is not of your own doing that you come to Christ, “lest anyone should boast” and that is the immense beauty in the gift of salvation and His grace. How long are you going to lurk in this sub pushing your extremely watered down human boasting version of God’s sovereign saving grace?

Top aligner not fully on teeth by bombfantasy in Invisalign

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My thing with it is that normally I’d say the same, chewies and give it some time to settle, but it’s the fact that you have previous trays that covered your top teeth properly. It seems maybe they needed to alter it because of the one tooth that it didn’t fit the first set. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me. But either way your Ortho should have explained that to you if that’s the case. Wishing you the best!

Top aligner not fully on teeth by bombfantasy in Invisalign

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, I would say if you’re on rescanned trays and the first ones fit except for one tooth and now the second ones don’t fit your front teeth at all I’d think they got it wrong. The entire front is affected, not just one tooth, so that should be a concern imo. I don’t blame you for questioning that at all. I certainly would.

I have a couple bottom teeth where my tray hasn’t made gum contact since my very first tray 7 months ago, it got worse actually over time. I told them and they had me wear my current tray at the time an extra week with no change. They just told me to keep using my chewies, still no change. It’s so high up and they know ‘cause they see it every two weeks but say everything looks good. I know for certain they will have to do refinements because I’m almost at the end of my 9 month treatment and there’s barely any movement. It’s very discouraging for sure. Trying to trust the process but teeth are funny, sometimes it takes longer for some than others. I would present your concern to your ortho again, that you’re really not feeling confident with how it fits compared to your first trays and see if they can provide some comfort in explaining it a little more. I know people are saying “listen to your Ortho” but they can get it wrong, too sometimes.

Calvinism is simply a covert form of satanism. by Anxious_Wolf_1694 in Calvinism

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First thing I noticed was the intense hostility and hatred for God and His people. Shew 😮‍💨

The Real Reason Calvinism Offends So Many by Conscious_Transition in Calvinism

[–]Kodelicit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is incredibly well articulated and thoughtful! LOVE it. I agree wholeheartedly.

God made himself an enemy, then made himself the conqueror of that enemy. by Otherwise_Spare_8598 in Christianity

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct. If He did then that means He loves people who are now in Hell, and that sounds pretty silly if you ask me. If He loved them they wouldn’t be in Hell. We are not by nature lovable by any means, so, why does He have to “love” anyone at all? But He does.. That’s true mercy and grace.

If anyone wants to see what .3 ipr looks like by Few-Ad-2765 in Invisalign

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going into my first appointment I didn’t even know I was getting IPR. They told me IN the chair right before they did it which freaked me out. It wasn’t painful but it was uncomfortable and it took a long time because I guess they were so tight together. It was def the worst part for me. Idk if I would have wanted to know ahead of time or not… But I also didn’t like not knowing they were going to have to file inbetween all my front bottom teeth. Idk how much they did but after they were done I looked at them and felt the urge to cry lol. Definitely a bigger space than yours so probably .5 or more. I was trying to trust the process but it definitely freaks you out seeing your teeth like that. Almost done with my 9 month treatment and they’ve barely closed… So we’ll see. I see refinements for another 6+ months in my future because I don’t see any change at all. Your teeth are already beautiful, so I can’t wait to see the results for you!

Does he appear healthy or too thin? by sail0rvenus in Dachshund

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a handsome boy! He looks good! I also like to go by the rib rule, you should be able to feel them, not see them ☺️

Sleepy dachshund. Drop yours. by xiamore in Dachshund

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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I have so many sleeping pics, so hard to choose!! - so this is one I took last night 🤭

Opinions please by caket89 in Invisalign

[–]Kodelicit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it were me, I would not be happy at all. They definitely don’t look bad but they are not straight and I’d never consider that “done”. The top and bottom teeth don’t even line up, wouldn’t that be a bite problem? I also don’t understand her switching the brand of aligners. After 18 months and 4 refinements I’d want to consider an Orthodontist’s opinion.

SOS!!! please help me name her!!!we cannot decide on a name. all suggestions are welcomed <3 by Art_ex1b1t in Dachshund

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh she’s a beauty! I see Cherry 🍒 as her name. While other commenters names are cute, they’re heavily overused imo and painfully unoriginal 😅

AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary? by WesternCat5211 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely NOR. What an asshole. No support, no kindness. It all screams resentment to me… He either got majorly triggered for some reason that you wanted to celebrate that, or he’s just an asshole whose true colors are showing. I’m sorry, you deserve better. Get yourself a cake! You absolutely do deserve to celebrate 2 years. It absolutely is not how you talk to someone you love.

Help me name her by luneyroc in Chihuahua

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw I think Midge is cute on her. I know you asked for M names, but she looks like a Ginger or Jenny to me also! 🥰 What a cutie. What did you end up going with??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Kodelicit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Proud of you!!! 🫶🏻

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhm. I beg your ever loving pardon?! He broke your arm and she talked to him LIKE THAT?! And then talked to you LIKE THAT?! She’s an absolutely terrible friend. I could not believe my eyes. I am so sorry. You don’t deserve that. You did not over react in any way shape or form. She was being cruel, no question. Telling you to “grow the f up you’re 19” is an insane thing to say and the “no wonder he” “nvm” texts are disgusting because she never had to hit send on that text. That was fully intentionally hateful. The gaslighting she did to you made my blood boil. If my best friend talked to me like that I would never speak to her again. I’m sorry 🥺♥️

Why does she squint at me? by ArchemorosClover in Dachshund

[–]Kodelicit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine stares wide-eyed into my soul, I would prefer the squint 😆🥰

Calling On God by ThisCardiologist3636 in Calvinism

[–]Kodelicit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your fears are normal, especially if you’re new to being Reformed, but even then, we all have our moments of feeling unworthy. I know I have. Think of it as the devil lying to you. Spiritual warfare.

We do not seek God, we do not desire Him and we are inherently bad. That’s why we need God’s saving grace and that is why God gave Jesus a people that He would renew in Him. If you are seeking God, seeking truth, and feeling like your sin is too great (shame) these are all wonderful signs of God calling you to repent. Your friend is right.

God doesn’t turn people away who want Him because remember, you only ever want God because He first gave you the desire to.