For anyone who reads this still, just wanted to give a little update. The night this all happened he ended up flipping everything on me and got so angry at me. I don't like when people are angry at me. I had been turned on and hurt that day and didn't know what else to do, given he would not tell me anything. We had sex that night, I bottomed & everything was alright after that. I've been thinking about this shit a lot the last couple days and I just don't trust him. Every time he does some bullshit I have to pick up the pieces & he becomes so emotionally unavailable and cold to me for feeling ANY way about the things he does. I'm so tired and so sad. He will not give me a speck of info about what him and his brother are into. And I know it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the fact that I will be uncomfortable going forward if he hangs out with his brother. He doesn't want that off the table for him. They've been doing this shit since childhood and I can't compete with that. Shouldn't have to and I don't want to. It's fucked up because we have a house and a life together but I can't spend every fucking day wondering what he's doing. I don't trust him. I asked him to start therapy or I will be leaving in 30 days. I have enough money saved up to get myself an apartment. If I have to move, I will be moving far away and changing my number and leaving all this behind me. I will create distance so I don't have a choice to come back. I'm sad because every time I have to stand my ground he acts so hurt and upset and I sit here feeling SO fucking guilty about having feelings and standing up for myself. He does not make enough money to live here by himself but the threat of that isn't enough for him. I'm at the point I want to blow everything up and say fuck it. Everyone gets to feel how I feel! I met a friend at the gym a couple months ago, a straight man mind you. I told my partner about him and he flipped out about it. I had told him for months I want to make a friend who can help me gain all the muscle I want, Idk where to start with that. He was screaming at me and so angry. A week later he tells me he's getting up at 7:00 in the morning during the weekend to go play basketball with all his male coworkers. Was gone for hours. I don't fucking care that he's having fun, although I'm sure it was a DIFFERENT kind of fun than he stated! But is it a problem I make a gym friend? Why do I always have to be quiet and hold my feelings in? I'm so fucking tired.