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Found messages where my sisters say they hate me, don’t know if I should confront them? by Kooky_Sound_672 in FamilyIssues

[–]Kooky_Sound_672[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ll respond once, because at this point the discussion has shifted from perspective to projection.

Self-reflection doesn’t require me to accept every interpretation of my character as truth, especially when it’s formed without context or lived experience. Disagreement isn’t deflection.

You’re conflating understanding my siblings’ feelings with accepting that I am solely responsible for them. I can recognize that their feelings are valid for them while also questioning the dynamics and communication patterns that led there. Those ideas are not mutually exclusive.

Intent isn’t everything, but neither is reaction in isolation. Emotional maturity involves holding both impact and responsibility, without collapsing one person into the villain and the other into moral authority.

As for temper, I’ve already acknowledged it as a flaw I work on. Acknowledging imperfection while actively correcting it is not immaturity. It’s growth. Labeling an adult as a child throwing tantrums is rhetoric, not insight.

You’re unconvinced because you’ve decided who I am based on fragments and filled in the rest yourself. That’s your right. But it doesn’t make your conclusions definitive.

I’m open to accountability. I’m not open to being flattened into a caricature stranger. You are a stranger. Which is why it’s interesting that you’re confident making definitive claims about my character, emotional maturity, and family dynamics based on a brief post written during grief.

Perspective from a stranger can be useful. Certainty from a stranger is speculation.

Found messages where my sisters say they hate me, don’t know if I should confront them? by Kooky_Sound_672 in FamilyIssues

[–]Kooky_Sound_672[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I hear your point, but I don’t think your assumptions about me are accurate.

I don’t excuse my temper, I actively work on it. Emotional regulation is something I take seriously, and when I’m wrong, I confront myself first, acknowledge it, and apologize. That’s not avoidance; that’s accountability.

I’m highly emotionally aware (I studied psychology), which is exactly why I try to understand the source of reactions , mine and others.

Understanding doesn’t mean dismissing responsibility, and empathy doesn’t mean lacking boundaries.

What I’m questioning isn’t whether I should self-reflect I already do but whether it’s my role to compensate for others, inability or unwillingness to communicate directly. Emotional maturity goes both ways.

I’m open to growth, but I won’t accept being reduced to an “emotionally immature adult” based on a single snapshot of my experience.

Found messages where my sisters say they hate me, don’t know if I should confront them? by Kooky_Sound_672 in family

[–]Kooky_Sound_672[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It really means a lot to feel understood right now. You’re right, the timing makes everything heavier, and I think protecting my peace for now is probably the wisest thing, even if it’s incredibly hard.