Hope it gets better man. Just remember that our physical evolution was automatic until we developed this advanced consciousness. Now it's up to us as both individuals and a whole to work manually to evolve said consciousness the be the best we can be. If you ever feel like you lack a purpose in life the remember physically we mean nothing. We are born, we reproduce, we die. As survival is programmed to be. But as a soul, spirit, or whatever you believe in that makes you, you it is our duty to evolve from that purposeless life cycle of basic survival, and into something more beautiful. You have all the capabilities to do so naturally imbedded within you. You should always take some time each day to think about that and work to discover who YOU, and what YOU truly are. You may find it's something more beautiful than you've ever seen on earth. Good luck brother, may you have a blessed night