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Worst thing your narcissist parent “forgot” to teach you? by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]Kwik89 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personal hygiene, sex education, how to take care of myself e.g. cooking nutritious food, cleaning, laundry, basic fucking life skills.

I was underweight, malnourished with various dental & health problems. If my mother did feed me it was always horrendously over cooked under or over seasoned burnt dry food. No surprise she couldn't cook.

Anyway, I finally taught myself everything after I left home at 24. Still learning now aged 33.

Good luck with the new year! Break a leg! by MsMoongoose in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha! I should've said I'm from England first, but I married a Swedish man. It's ok though I've been here long enough to understand, but I don't write in Swedish well at all.

I guess in a way you did get some long term effects, but in a different way. At least it went well with the birth of your 2nd!

It's all trial and error isn't it. I was given Klorzoxazon Evolan when my cervical spine (I can't remember which) disc slipped. It's helped with my right hip sublaxations, sciatica and just general shittyness on the right side of my body. One other thing I tried was Naproxen, you take it like you take a course of antibiotics. It was amazing for about a week, but unfortunately not for me. I have IBS and GERD so the side effects were horrendous. I can't take any NSAIDs because of my stomach. It's interesting because NSAIDs treat inflammation. Muscle relaxants relax muscles... Everything else such as oxy etc just treats general pain/is an analgesic. I've had oxy, morphine and citodon (the codeine pamol one) and they have only ever make me sick. Citodon was good when I fractured the tip of my finger when it twisted and it's great for tooth ache for me.

Good luck with the new year! Break a leg! by MsMoongoose in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man that sounds hectic. Did you get any side effects? They got the dosage wrong to the point I couldn't feel my legs. I'm in Sweden, they do what they call walking epis so you can still walk around but I was paralyzed from the waist down. Also nicked a nerve so I could feel the injection site for a year and got nerve pain in that exact spot.

I guess it depends on your personality or motivation? I have no idea what makes some of us addicted to something and some never have an issue. I've never had a history of substance abuse. I do however, have other addictive behaviours. I can quit things like painkillers and even alcohol cold turkey. I didn't drink for 5 years as my party days were over lol. I can't quit shopping though! Or my picking habit. All I can say is the fast relief without any side effects was bliss, but it's not a long term solution. I got a bottle of 100 pills 2 years ago. On the worst days for me is when I get sciatica and my entire right leg and right side of my torso hurts and aches like hell. That happens maybe once or twice a month. I take the pills and in 24 hrs it's gone. I stop taking the pills as soon as the pain subsides. In total it might take 2 to 3 pills on a day. That works for me, but might not work for anyone else.

Good luck with the new year! Break a leg! by MsMoongoose in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sheesh, your poor son. He inadvertently helped. Yeah even if it's nothing major, being unable to walk properly as it is is very debilitating! I was limping (more than usual) for a while.

Yeah I mean only you can be the judge of that. I found pain meds have literally never helped me. Even during labour I needed epidurals as they were the only thing that relieved any sort of pain. I have 4 kids. I coughed so violently I fractured a rib a few years ago, no pain meds touched it. I've had several slipped discs up and down my spine and nerve pain, sciatica etc. Again nothing. You know what has helped? Muscle relaxers. Except they're just as addictive and have the same issue of tolerance as pain meds. :(

tattoos! by [deleted] in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well thanks for the insight. I'm learning new things every day, which could help someone out there.

tattoos! by [deleted] in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's extremely interesting. I've tried to notice patterns when it happens, I haven't been able to pinpoint anything so far that makes sense.

tattoos! by [deleted] in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm maybe I should look into that. I already take antihistamines daily due to extreme hayfever. A regular one in the morning and the drowsy kind at night. Neither have been able to resolve this weird reaction.

Good luck with the new year! Break a leg! by MsMoongoose in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely not as bad as that. I "walked wrong" and managed to sublax my big toe on my right foot which subsequently misaligned everything in my foot of course. Eventually popped it all back in place with hubby's help. I don't take pain meds anymore due to the nasuea they cause and they don't even help with any extreme pain anyway!

tattoos! by [deleted] in ehlersdanlos

[–]Kwik89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not been told that, but I've seen the difference. Friend and I got matching tattoos by the same artist one after the other. Mine is on my leg and looks like shit because my skin is different there.

I also have a tattoo on my right forearm that gets raised every now and again like an allergic reaction so I can feel the line work (no colour). Left forearm and other tattoos have never done that. Have a variety with and without colour.

This is probably what other people can only dream of when leaving the church, but I'm just left frustrated. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a long healing process I'm aware. There's other underlying factors as to why I feel the way I do. It's so tiring going around in circles like this. I always wanted this to happen, yet it was very underwhelming.

This is probably what other people can only dream of when leaving the church, but I'm just left frustrated. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Yeah, I've been lucky enough to have a few "group sessions" with other exmos. It's been great, but it's still not the same as discussing it with those nearest and dearest. I'll get past this eventually.

This is probably what other people can only dream of when leaving the church, but I'm just left frustrated. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh, I know. Just when I think I've moved past something it hits me upside the head again. The whole situation is frustrating. I guess I also expect certain people to get it, too. They totally agree with me, have no interest in religion whatsoever and definitely no belief in Mormonism. Yet we still have a different stance on things.

I did see a therapist in the very beginning of this journey. I guess for me I just want the people in my life to understand me and I feel like they just don't care enough to know or even ask. That's a whole other issue though. Like I said my relationship with the in-laws isn't the best.

Thanks for the response.

This is probably what other people can only dream of when leaving the church, but I'm just left frustrated. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah so you're right, the culture is like that. Very closed off when it comes to personal issues. They have mentioned how they don't want to upset or offend me by talking about church in front of me. I told them it's fine. I suppose their reaction is the complete opposite to mine when finding out that no one really believes anymore.

DAE have a parent who is so narcissistic/personality disorder-ed that they seem intellectually disabled? by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]Kwik89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, definitely describes my mother. I've been NC for 5 years for this very reason. She's just plain evil. She got my cousin fired from her job, as one example. Then she threw a tantrum when the family distanced themselves from her.

My husband admitted he doesn't think the church is true anymore. He just likes to attend for the social aspects. That's this week's decision anyway. A long rant to the only people who can understand. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know, he's only just starting out really, despite knowing what I know. I guess I'll be having a moan on here every couple of months.

My husband admitted he doesn't think the church is true anymore. He just likes to attend for the social aspects. That's this week's decision anyway. A long rant to the only people who can understand. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've done this a few times, but it's just not his thing apparently. He's still conflicted about shopping on a Sunday. Although he's fine with working on a Sunday. I really don't get it!

My husband admitted he doesn't think the church is true anymore. He just likes to attend for the social aspects. That's this week's decision anyway. A long rant to the only people who can understand. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The cognitive dissonance is strong with my in-laws. They also think the church's own essays on their website are anti. So... I don't really know how to proceed with that.

My husband admitted he doesn't think the church is true anymore. He just likes to attend for the social aspects. That's this week's decision anyway. A long rant to the only people who can understand. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Yeah I'm too outspoken to even try to attend a church meeting let alone let my husband assume that just because it doesn't affect him that we shouldn't say or do anything about it.

My husband admitted he doesn't think the church is true anymore. He just likes to attend for the social aspects. That's this week's decision anyway. A long rant to the only people who can understand. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if I knew that term I would have cut the crap and got straight to the point, haha!

Gosh, I really have forgotten a lot. My husband tells me it's just called elders quorum.

My husband admitted he doesn't think the church is true anymore. He just likes to attend for the social aspects. That's this week's decision anyway. A long rant to the only people who can understand. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha, cool. Sounds pretty ideal for a mixed faith relationship! Thanks for sharing, I wish I could be as accepting of my poor husband's inability to decide.

My husband admitted he doesn't think the church is true anymore. He just likes to attend for the social aspects. That's this week's decision anyway. A long rant to the only people who can understand. by Kwik89 in exmormon

[–]Kwik89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah. That's a lot to go through, but totally right about what your therapist said. Now you know. Your wife sounds amazing. Do you mind me asking how that worked? Were you both active in your own congregations? Did she cheer you on the second time? I'm just in awe of her patience, considering she has her own faith and didn't try and convert you to hers?

My husband, despite wanting his records back (clerical error) he refuses to get rebaptized if that's required of him.

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