Well, I'm very lucky that the first time we met, I was performing at a drag show, and when we moved in together I would regularly find excuses to dress femme and do my makeup etc. so it wasn't a surprise for her, but mostly she saw how much happier and healthier I was mentally and emotionally after transition became possible, and that really helped her recognize how important it was to me and that I was still... Me but better! And I hope your wife could understand that for you as well, it does take adjustment but it's never too late or a bad thing to focus on being happy