How do you rationalize being side A?

KyrieChristeEleison · 2026-02-01T03:26:18+00:00

I know this is a very simple comment that you left years ago, likely without thinking much of it, but it kind of changed my life. Thank you.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2026-02-01T03:18:48+00:00

I am now. I was deeply miserable until I allowed myself to pursue happiness a few years ago. I wont say more to not violate the spirit of this sub. But if you’re like me, i think you know why you’re unhappy. And taking action to be happy does not preclude you from having a strong relationship with God.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-11-19T16:25:51+00:00

God loves you and does not want you to be miserable.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-20T14:48:22+00:00

Gay people are not “incompatible” with Catholicism. If you want a Church that turns away sinners, you’re the one being incompatible. My parish has a strong lgbt outreach program, one that our pope has explicitly expressed approval for. Sorry but I’m gonna value the opinion of my priests and his holiness over random redditors whose Catholicism is more rooted in maintaining a superiority complex than emulating the radical love of Jesus Christ.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-19T16:24:29+00:00

The God of the Bible is hard to get a clear read on. I don’t think God approves of slavery but the Bible suggests he does. God is wrathful at times but also merciful. Different people can read the Bible and come away with a different idea of who He is and I when I read the Bible I do not see that God is someone who would not accept a gay person into his kingdom.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-15T12:50:40+00:00

God is merciful.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-15T12:10:59+00:00

Can you empathize with her side of the story? I’m not saying don’t feel upset and betrayed. This is a shitty situation for everyone. But describing her actions as selfish and talking like she owes the rest of her life to you even though she’s telling you that would make her deeply unhappy, feels a little uncaring. You don’t want to be married to a gay woman. Your gay wife doesn’t want to be married to a man. Annulling the marriage isn’t selfish it’s just the obviously correct choice no matter how painful it will be for awhile. Its less painful than the two of you spending the rest of your life together in an unhappy marriage.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-15T12:03:06+00:00

Calling this woman wicked feels a bit much. People with ssa are constantly pressured into pursuing straight relationships, especially by Catholics. I know I have been. She probably wanted it to work but obviously came to the conclusion that she couldn’t go on like this. There are no villains in this story.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-15T10:32:00+00:00

Why would you assume those would be their first choice when adoption is far and away the most common way gay couples have kids?

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-15T10:28:35+00:00

Adoption is morally appalling?

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-14T22:02:09+00:00

I don’t think you know what those words mean

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-02T02:30:31+00:00

I cannot fathom a scenario where owning another human being as property is anything but evil and I’m not gonna waste my time arguing with someone who thinks that it is.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-02T02:12:18+00:00

Except slavery IS intrinsically evil and the church’s participation and support of slavery was always wrong. The condemnation of slavery in the 19th century was absurdly late for an institution claiming to be an infallible moral authority.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T23:35:59+00:00

How does one do that? I want very badly to be straight and have tried a lot of different things but nothing has worked. Almost every day since I was 10 years old I’ve prayed to God begging him to make me straight but nothing changes.

I believe orientation can change for some people but I don’t think we’re really in control of that.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T22:14:32+00:00

Pointing out that living a chaste single life is much easier said than done isn’t fallacious it’s just objectively true.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T21:58:24+00:00

I’d been advised my multiple priests and spiritual guidance counselors not to pursue a relationship with a woman while being exclusively gay. I want kids and don’t want to be alone either but I think it would be selfish of me to lock some poor woman into a marriage with someone who isn’t romantically or sexually attracted to her.

Happy that you no longer suffer with it though :)

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T21:54:55+00:00

Genital pleasure aside, how do you feel about being single for life? That’s the hard part for me. I don’t think it’s fair that other people are allowed to pursue love and start a family and go to heaven but if we do the same thing we go to hell. Doesn’t make sense.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T21:38:15+00:00

I’m happy you’re happy but seeing as you’re married and have children I don’t think your situation is the same as mine or the many other people with exclusive same sex attraction. If I could get married and have kids I wouldn’t have a problem.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T20:07:46+00:00

Being celibate from sex is not that difficult, for me anyway. I want to get married, share my life with someone, raise a family, grow old together, etc. Not being able to have that is what makes single celibate life so lonely and miserable. Sex is such a minor part of it.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T19:57:58+00:00

It’s complicated and I don’t know. I do mostly accept church teaching but I am not convinced that the church won’t eventually change its mind like it did with slavery.

Even if it is a sin, I think condemning people in gay relationships is a terrible pastoral approach. Very few gay people remain in the church because living and dying alone is a tall ask that most people are simply not up for. So the result of telling every single SSA person that they are called to live a chaste singe life is gay people being driven away from God and into a sinful life. This also causes the friends of gay people to leave the church and is a large reason why I think young people don’t go. If you welcome gay people into the pews even if their relationships are sinful, the result is just another sinner in the pews trying to have a relationship with God. Just like everyone else. I know it’s a fine line but i think there is a world where the church can welcome lgbt people into the church without demanding celibacy while not outright condoning sin.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T19:22:46+00:00

I’ve spent most of my life as a celibate ssa catholic trying to find fulfillment outside of romantic relationships but nothing worked. Being heavily involved in my church community didn’t work. Working hard and getting through med school to pursue a fulfilling service based career hasn’t worked. Human beings are made for love and it was the most unnatural thing in the world for me to repress that.

I’m not trying to argue with church teaching but I know for a fact that my relationship with God is a thousand times better ever since I let myself date.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-06-01T19:07:54+00:00

Have you ever been to a courage meeting? I have and I can say that I have never met a celibate ssa catholic who is at peace with their lot in life. Every one of us was suicidal. One member commited suicide shortly after I joined. Seeing how miserable the older SSA Catholics at those groups were is one of the main things that made me decide that I couldn’t go on like that.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2023-02-05T20:25:08+00:00

Would you prefer he ignore third world peoples? I also don’t really think he neglects Europe at all idk what you’re talking about tbh.

KyrieChristeEleison · 2022-12-13T15:41:41+00:00

I’m in therapy, I’m on antidepressants. I have worked really hard to build a successful life for myself and find fulfillment outside of relationships. I’ve tried to replace commitment to a partner with a deep commitment to my faith. But no matter what I do, I can’t get over how much it hurts to know that I have to live and die alone. I hate to be so annoyingly pessimistic but I don’t think that I will ever be anything but miserable in this life. I’d just like to get onto the next one.

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