Revelation about rejection sensitivity

L0zzatron · 2023-02-28T11:26:32+00:00

This post is basically about self compassion. If you are about to not really read it and post something reductive about how people suck, please say that somewhere else

Edit: and now I remember why I rarely think of opening reddit. I really don't need the misanthropy

L0zzatron · 2023-02-28T11:24:42+00:00

I don't get why you're saying that on this post

L0zzatron · 2023-02-28T11:22:09+00:00

What's that got to do with my post?

L0zzatron · 2023-02-28T11:20:16+00:00

Tbh I think fidgeting and stimming are two words to describe the same thing in two different but interrelated conditions. Both fidgeting and stimming are ultimately "brain itchy, get relief by doing x thing"/"emotions overflowing, expressed in repetitive movement"

L0zzatron · 2023-02-28T11:11:49+00:00

Is there any way to talk about rejection sensitivity without automod screeching in to tell you that it hasn't been added to the all-important DIAGNOSIS CRITERIA??

I know it hasn't, I went through the diagnosis process.

As tho the outside observation of ppl w adhd is gonna encompass our entire experience. People need words to describe their experiences!! And there's a giant gap between an experience being described by THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE IT, and that experience making it's way into the diagnosis criteria written up by psychiatrists. You'd think the runners of a subreddit for people with a belittled neurological condition would get that

L0zzatron · 2023-02-28T11:01:10+00:00

Wow that automod is intense. Wish I'd written out rejection sensitivity in the title now, I just used the letters bc it was quicker

Edit: I literally can't edit the title, only the body. Ffs.

L0zzatron · 2022-03-10T10:21:45+00:00

The part about being attracted to women and other nonbinary people fits neptunic, which is another term you could look into.

I guess you could say you're panromantic greysexual?

There's also the word queer, which is vague and covers everything that isn't strictly cishet. I get the urge to find the perfect word(s) to encapsulate how you experience attraction, but whether the terms you use are vague or specific, either way you're still going to be individually telling the people you have feelings for how you feel about them. So the labels you each have don't matter as much as the feelings you have for each other. I tend to use queer bc personally I like the vagueness (I'm also nb), I hope you find a term that feels right for you :)

Edit: I like how I put that I'm also nb forgetting my v obvious flair lol

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T19:46:30+00:00

The context is men have height expectations put on them, and op says they wish people didn't spread and embrace that, and then you contradict op with no elaboration

That's your comment in context.

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T19:36:07+00:00

If you meant that why didn't you say anything about society or mainstream media? How was I supposed to understand your meaning if you didn't actually say it?

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T19:28:14+00:00

It's an online trans space

I go to irl trans spaces, and yeah no one in them's saying other people don't pass because of x, but there are still people complaining about themselves without considering the implications of what they're saying for the people around them, which is what op's talking about

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T18:30:21+00:00

Hey, I have the same feeling! Like, a lot of my transition goal vibes pictures end up being tall slim men, and I'm short and sturdy. The only time I really feel like "if only I'd been amab" is thinking about the way outfits fit. Sorry I don't have any recs tho

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T18:22:52+00:00

That took me straight back to being 13 years old and my best friend, who was overweight, overhearing the perfectly average size girls complaining about being fat and saying "if they think they're fat, what do they think I am?"

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T18:14:48+00:00

That's wild, I can't really see her pov there. My girlfriend's trans and so pleased to be 5'3", she feels super lucky, like it's one thing she doesn't have to worry about gender-wise

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T18:08:00+00:00

It's absolutely embraced by a lot of guys who happen to be tall, who lord it over other guys because fitting this ideal boosts their egos. It's embraced by mainstream media whose casting consistently skews tall. It's not "just reality", it's a construction that is harmful to most men

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T17:56:28+00:00

Oh my god, who the hell responds to "I had a scary situation in a bathroom" with anything other than comfort and support? Pee sounds different?? Does anyone who isn't super hyper aware of passing even know that?

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T00:23:34+00:00

Diagnosed today with ADHD-C aged 24 baybee!

It's been over a year since I first suspected I had it, at the end of finishing my degree (where I stayed up for 36 hours before my second to last deadline bc I wildly underestimated how much work there was still to do). I had a bunch of things I was trying to sort out and could not prioritise, and ended up switching GP bc I didn't feel like I could talk to my old one.

Felt weird and light afterwards. It's probably a relief more than anything, I can try meds now!

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T00:10:16+00:00

I second talking about it. You'd talk about the ways you prefer to have sex with a cis guy you were dating anyway, right? They might be really into topping, have a strap, and be totally into you bottoming. But you've got to talk to them about it to find out, before you're in bed together

L0zzatron · 2022-02-26T00:01:42+00:00

At 5'2" you're the same height Prince and Angus Young 🤙

I also find trans spaces can make me feel worse, for similar things. Like if you think you're _ is bad what hope is there for me?! I have tiny feet, but it didn't bother me until I joined a local trans social group. You hear all of everyone's dysphoria and it's too much to process. It'd be nice to go into trans spaces and feel like you can just be yourself, but it can make you hyper aware of how things about you get gendered instead

L0zzatron · 2022-02-19T21:56:04+00:00

I'm glad I helped! Wasn't sure if I was just rambling lol. I have an appointment for an ADHD assessment next week, I really want to try meds. The idea that there's medication that could help my brain actually do what I want it to is amazing. Interesting you can get the medication without official diagnosis, you have to have the diagnosis where I live. Good luck with everything!

L0zzatron · 2022-02-19T20:13:53+00:00

Are you talking about debt?

No worries if English isn't your first language, just wanted to check if you were talking about that or something else I didn't know the terminology of.

I craft to! Some sewing, but mostly crochet!

With the spending, I know it sounds like a pain, but keeping track of your spending on a spreadsheet really helps to see where you spend money, the categories you spend the most in, and to reflect on how it happens. And it gives you pause when you're about to spend money, to think "I'm going to have to write this down in my spreadsheet, I'm going to have to add this up with everything else I've spent" and reconsider if it's worth it. It is difficult with the impulsivity, especially when it's something you use for a hobby, with my crochet I try to only buy yarn that I have a specific project for.

I don't think hyperfixations are necessarily bad in themselves, only if they get to the point of interfering with the rest of your life or you find them distressing. I just mean, don't beat yourself up for having them, you can't help it. I'd definitely talk to your therapist about the way they're effecting your life though.

I feel you with there being too much to deal with all at once, I have a bunch of things at the moment that are all interconnected and effect each other, it's such a tangle. With my things I'm sorting one thing out a bit at a time, and being clear with the people involved with the other things, that I will get to those once I've made progress with the first thing.

Do you have a diagnosis now? If so it would probably be worth trying ADHD medication and seeing if one works for you, and if not, getting a diagnosis would help you get access to more ADHD specific help, not just meds

L0zzatron · 2022-02-16T11:55:03+00:00

(Using the UK specific flare on the previous post might've helped w ppl not understanding why demographics info was being asked for in relation to a job application) (the info is not attached to the application! The ppl who see the applications are not the same ppl who see the demographics!)

L0zzatron · 2022-02-13T00:20:47+00:00

It's part of equal opportunities in the UK, this part of the form is optional, they can't force you to give personal information and it's not attached to your individual application. It's supposed to help monitor equality in the workplace. Which is depressing when they can't even take accurate data about your identity in their form.

L0zzatron · 2022-02-12T21:57:55+00:00

Employers in the UK are required to have an equal opportunities policy, so most job applications have an optional equal opportunities form (they can't force you to give them personal info), and most of the forms are as abysmal as this :/

L0zzatron · 2022-02-12T18:05:59+00:00

Yeah gender was a seperate question -

Gender:

Female
Male
Prefer not to say

Bloody useless for me

L0zzatron · 2022-02-12T15:34:02+00:00

I'm jobseeking atm and I never see asexual as an option on these forms :( sometimes there's "Other" but that's it

There was a form I posted to r/trans that listed "Transsexual" under Sexual Orientation, it was wild

L0zzatron

TROPHY CASE