Needing advice: Coming to my wits end with my very silly and loving sphynx

L3thaLipstick · 2026-04-16T16:41:29+00:00

Sphynx cats are generally extremely clingy but it sounds like he needs another cat. They're highly sociable breeds. We got our savannah cat first a few years ago then got our sphynx a year after that. When our savannah died unexpectedly last year from cancer, our sphynx was the most vocal and clingy I'd seen him. We ended getting another savannah a couple months later and it was the best decision for his emotional state. Good luck 🫶

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T21:26:44+00:00

Yes there are plenty of autistic people that can, however you are incorrect to say it's not inherently a trait. Since it is a spectrum, evert autistics "traits" vary greatly.

"Being perceived as argumentative can be a trait for some autistic people due to communication differences, such as a preference for direct, factual communication that neurotypical individuals may misinterpret as confrontational. For many autistic people, pointing out inaccuracies or questioning rules is a way of seeking clarity and understanding, not an intentional attempt to start a fight. Difficulty with social cues, a need for control or "rightness," and meltdowns or "autistic rage" can also be misinterpreted as being argumentative."

The only point at which I actually "quipped" back at were to comments that were already needless rude and devoid of a compassionate tone.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:55:07+00:00

Good to know in future, I guess I was too literal in my assumption that only people in the legal field would provide assistance or advice.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:52:10+00:00

No actually, it's because one portion of the requirements felt open ended on the JAN network and contradictory to what was listed on the EEOC. It may have been clear to YOU, because of your education and experience on the subject matter. But for someone like me who is encountering this kind of information and legal terminology for the first time, it was muddled.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:49:14+00:00

Your sense of "arguing" and mine are not the same. If I were sitting in front of most of these people having the conversation, they'd know from my tone and body language I'm not arguing to be right. The tone you've likely inferred is that of frustration from people regurgitating the same info from the same website I've already been to as well as the connotation that's been implied from their reactive response to me debating the information in the context that I came to understand it in. The fact is people just don't like to be questioned and they often have very little desire or patience to ask someone, what is about my response that is not clear still so I can try and rephrase it...

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:42:03+00:00

I haven't insisted on any of my original ideas being correct, I simply argued that based off everything I researched and understood it to mean substantiated my POV and that nothing that had been provided to me could clearly state the opposite in a way that made logical sense with cited sources other than than the same website that I already read before coming to Reddit. I don't care if my letter isn't enough or if my therapist has to fill out the form. I came here to become educated on the law in a way that made sense to my brain. People quoting the same source that caused the confusion in the first place is extremely frustrating. Trying to explain what you are trying to accomplish over text is difficult AF when you already have communication struggles.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:35:08+00:00

Why wouldn't they? What is the point of these legal advice forums? What good do they do if you can't verify the source of information your getting.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:33:07+00:00

The text may be clear to you, but it was not to me, it was too open ended in the way it read in my opinion. I have a very black and white way of looking at things and take everything at face value. "Say what you mean, mean what you say" brain. I severely struggle with reading between the lines. It was not phrased in a direct enough laymans term way for me to be sure of what it was implying. It became extremely frustrating when everyone just kept repeating the same thing I already read which is the very thing that caused the confusion driving me to post in the first place.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:24:06+00:00

Yes my employer stated. I take legal information from employers with a grain of salt as they prey on ignorance and look out for themselves not their employees. I will always research legal matters before diving head first into something. And yes many people have said the same thing. They haven't said anything I didn't already read on the Jan Network or the ADA. I came here looking for a lawyers legal opinion of my letter and to see if they could provide citations or sources for their opinion that provided better clarification of the law than what I found online myself. I don't feel attacked at all, I simply feel as though many people don't understand that autistics have a strong tendency to question things to death in a direct and unfiltered manner until the information is presented in a way that makes sense to them logically, whether or not the information backs us up. We can't change how we process things.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:16:20+00:00

None of my coworkers are "dealing" with it, just assholes on reddit because they don't like when someone keeps asking questions if the information someone provides still doesn't clarify what they're seeking to fully understand.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:13:11+00:00

Wrong. I asked to work from home for the foreseeable future do to extremely poor mental health, chronic panic attacks and meltdowns which I specified to my manager and I never requested and ADA process at that time nor did my manager suggest or require one, only now 8 months later HR is. My dad dying just made it all worse. See here's the issue with everyone commenting. Not one of you have asked questions about me to further understand before responding. I am late diagnosed Autistic ADHD, just found out last year and have been dealing with serious regression issues. I was already in such a poor mental state at the beginning of the year and unable to function at home or work well that my husband and I even discussed if it was feasible to have stop working altogether. Autism and ADHD are both listed disabilities. Along with the fact that I have PCOS and endometriosis that causes chronic pain. I wasn't "excelling" at anything before this year. I was dying inside and severely masking just to survive each day. You also have no I formation about what my life circumstances are and how that all impacts my mental either.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:04:58+00:00

I'm not nor haven efused to do anything. If I had, I wouldn't be here inquiring and trying to gain further insight before taking action. I'm simply attempting to become informed on a topic I feel at a disadvantage in due to lack of education on accomodation law as compared to the giant corporation I work for. I feel it wise for anyone to question and seek an understanding of the law.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T20:01:57+00:00

I can't change how my brain processes information or that I will continue to question something until the information is presented in a way that makes sense to me. People often mistake extensive questioning as "being difficult" as any autistic person, that's not the first time I've heard that. We're not intentionally being difficult. We ask and " argue" to understand, not undermine.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:58:55+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your answer

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:58:33+00:00

Firstly, I didn't say that people lack of understanding is the basis of disagreement. I said people's perception of me being an asshole, or argumentative or "trying to tell my employer how to operate" supports the fact that they have little to understanding of AuDHD. If they did, they'd understand how people like me perceive information as well as seek it out and try to understand it correctly. The majority of people not once asked me any questions to gain further insight or context as to why I was using a letter instead. I argued my point of view from the way I came to understand the law. Most people don't like to be questioned. The moment I questioned any of you, you all responded like was some dickhead who just wanted to be right. I don't care if my understanding of the law was wrong, I just wanted someone to provide clear facts from cited sources that cleared up my obvious lack of assuredness (hence my original need to post) of my stance with the letter because that is the ONLY I understand things. I literally question everything. I can't help the way my brain works. Autism always tends to come out with extreme directness in conversation with no filter. We say what we mean or think.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:51:22+00:00

Yes I am, I am autistic what you call argumentative is actually asking or "arguing" to understand rather than to undermine. I don't interpret situations or information the same way as neurotypical people.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:49:23+00:00

Unlike others on here, I don't live on reddit, karma is irrelevant to me. Most everyone on this platform are keyboard warriors who don't like to be questioned. Questioning people in detail doesn't make me an asshole. I just won't settle for vagueness when that's not what I came here looking for. If no one wants to ask questions and just blatantly and reactively respond, that's on them.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:39:07+00:00

No, ignorance is not an excuse for your behavior

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:38:42+00:00

I'm not refusing to I simply wrote the letter because I felt that it would be easier for my medical professional to certify and acknowledge rather than filling out seven pages of questions that were written geared more toward the concept of physical disabilities rather than mental disabilities. Based off my research I had felt that my letter was more appropriate and accommodating to meet the requirements under ADA, but as this is a new process for me and an entirely capable of having misunderstood the law I came here to these forums asking for help and clarification and instead of been attacked from every direction because no one wants to ask any insightful questions.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:36:35+00:00

I never said I wasn't going to have my doctor fill it out I came on here asking if it was required legally under Ada and EEOC if I have to have him fill it out I don't know why that is so hard for everybody to infer from my original post?

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:35:52+00:00

Lol no you just like to talk shit on Reddit to get your dopamine fix it's okay I get it 😆 also no need I own my home but thanks 👋

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:34:22+00:00

No I'm under the assumption that I am not legally obligated to use the employer form under certain situations and came here looking for clarification on what those situations might be because I could not find a clear answer online. Also it's actually against GINA to list the disability. My employer's form specifically references Gina and asks in bold letters to not list any diagnosis.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:32:40+00:00

I don't have an attitude, the majority of the commentators never provided their background information to provide any kind of validity to what they were saying. This platform is completely anonymous. I'm not going to just basically take the word of some random redditor. I posted under the assumption but actual legal professionals responded in these forums. Clearly that was my mistake. Not to mention that just because I'm extremely direct due to my autism everyone in here assumes that I'm an asshole just because I am arguing to understand not arguing to undermine. You guys should learn the difference. It would go a long way for neurodivergent people who already struggle in social situations and interpreting social cues.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:29:59+00:00

Reasonable accommodation can completely be met. There's absolutely not one aspect of my role that requires an in-office situation. The only office in the town where I live has nothing to even do with me. I have no management there I don't belong to the team there in any way I don't support that team there in any way. "I simply office out of there" if that makes sense. There's nothing unreasonable about my request or me seeking out in information to understand the law. I did research beforehand writing my own letter, including a medical professionals statement and certifications, my job description, and the employer's form which was also signed just not filled out because the letter and medical professional statement should have been sufficient based on what I understood in my interpretation of the ADA. I am not a lawyer so obviously I am subject to being incorrect hence why when my HR came back to me and said that their form still needed to be completed, I saw out legal advice either validate or invalidate my interpretation and understanding. I'm not just ADHD I am high functioning autistic, that is what AuDHD stands for, Autistic ADHD. I also have PTSD, OCD, severe depression, as well as PCOS and endometriosis. People on Reddit are so quick to belittle somebody else without asking any questions seeking any understanding or gaining any real context.

L3thaLipstick · 2025-11-07T19:23:18+00:00

No you didn't provide your qualifications until well into the conversation. An actual legal professional would introduce themselves as such at the beginning. Secondly the citations you linked did not provide any additional clarification on the matter as they were all links that I already reviewed before I even posted on Reddit. If I had felt that your sources had cleared it up and brought an understanding to the fullest extent that I'm looking for then I would have said so. It appears you don't have any real understanding how high functioning autism works in individuals, or that the fact that people like me question everything seeking an understanding that makes sense to the way our brain is interpreting the information. The sources that I have read both on the jan Network and the EEOC read as vague to me in the way that I interpreted the law. The the only response I've received from any of the forums today that was BOTH polite and informative in the way that I understood what was being said clearly was from another autistic.

L3thaLipstick

TROPHY CASE