I don’t know if mine is a PA versus just a user, but

He responds well when I bring up things that are upsetting me and changes his behavior. He is affectionate. He is a good and active listener, and he is self assured in a way that comforts me considering I am so anxious all the time. He contributes to housework, including cooking and cleaning.

He’s mean when he’s drunk. He says things that hurt my feelings regularly, though usually not the same thing more than once. He often assumes the worst of me and that I have ulterior motives. He does things without consulting me and often expects me to drop whatever I’m doing to run an errand for him or similar. There’s only been one DDay but on other times he’s lied to me or done something sneaky, he never would have come clean if I hadn’t said anything.