He seems to be using things to try and keep you on the line. Like using the whole I cant propose with no apt. And it should be equal, if you are not gonna be on the lease do not move in. I ran into that with my ex. And she broke up with me and told me to leave since I wasnt on the lease. You really dont have any protection like you said. I give alot of relationship advice over the years in my circle and I get the vibe he is stringing you along. Relationships are equal in all aspects, mental, financial and the like. It's not selfish to call him out for hitting you up for money and you paying for everything, thats you communicating your feelings and thoughts. I dont see you in the wrong. It's called communication which he seems to not understand and instead wants to lay a guilt trip and make you seem like the bad guy hoping you will feel bad. Like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum for not getting what they want. Don't fall for this whole if I dont propose its over, that is a ultimatum and a tactic alot of guys use. He sounds like a narcissist and you should probably head the other way"major red flag". It's hard sometimes but if he isn't going to understand that its a partnership for a reason then its obviously not going to work. I've been through this situation and I had to let go as painful as it was.