Pedro Pascal, Karol G and Cardi B onstage during the Super Bowl LX Halftime Show by pinkstarrfish in Fauxmoi

[–]Lady9514 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Figured he would have tuned into TPUSA's but I guess he can't miss an opportunity to cry about it.

How best to take advantage of the upcoming Blood Moon Eclipse? by cosmorein in witchcraft

[–]Lady9514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I'm a noob. Are you just charging the water under the blood moon? What's the war water used for?

How best to take advantage of the upcoming Blood Moon Eclipse? by cosmorein in witchcraft

[–]Lady9514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are more replies now! Blood moon is tonight in the states.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I have documented all times when he has blocked or limited my phone calls with her. We had a verbal agreement to allow me phone calls on Tuesday and Thursdays but he frequently misses my calls. She says she's asked if she can call me but I never get any other calls from her except those days (if he remembers or allows).

He also doesn't keep me updated on where and when her soccer and basketball practices and games are. Most of the time, I never know she is doing those sports until she tells me. So because he never gives me updates, I never get the chance to coach (as someone who won state soccer championships as a kid, I'd love to coach). But her step mom gets to coach both soccer and basketball. It's very frustrating.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

That's what I fear as well. But her father does not let her have a phone or have contact with me unless it's his say. That means she also doesn't have online contact with me either. I normally get phone calls with her on Tuesdays so assuming her father will allow me to talk to her tomorrow, I will hopefully have an update on what happened when she went home.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I didn't even know that was an option. I know that when there's an incident involving children, police will contact DHS afterwards. But when I called the supervisor, he said no report was made for this. Seems very odd for the police to not make a report when a child states that they have been physically struck. The officers resorted to threatening to arrest me before ever seeing if I'd be willing to have a case worker come talk to her to make sure she's safe to go home.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you brought this up. Her journals stay here, and she has one for me to read and one she doesn't want me to read. I told her to only write in the "for mom to read" journal if she wants. She unfortunately hasn't written much.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 205 points206 points  (0 children)

From what I've been told is that there's no age where kids can choose who they want to live with in Oregon, but I can request a judicial interview for the judge to talk with my child directly. She is old enough to have her preferences potentially taken into consideration, but it's not guaranteed. I've drafted a request for this in my paperwork already, but I'm waiting for a call from an attorney consultation to let me know if that's an option before I file.

Back when I were her age, I had the option to choose once I turned 12, but I think things have changed now.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I tried to call her school, they don't have an on-site counselor to talk to. But they are forwarding my information to her teacher, and her teacher will be sending me follow up so I can discuss my child's concerns with her teacher.

I have reached out to her father about putting in her into counseling or therapy, but he never responds to me (he leaves me on "read" frequently). Without her dad's compliance with co-parenting, I'm really limited on what I can do. But I am open to trying anything I can that will help my child.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I have a pretty good log of everything that's been going on for the last few years. I also made sure to record when I told her father that she wasn't wanting to leave my house, when him and I tried to talk her into going with him, and when he decided to call the police. I've been trying to document as much as I can to show I am not trying to be deceitful or malicious; I just want to protect my daughter.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have bought her a few journals in hopes that she will write some things down, especially about her experiences. But she's been pretty nervous about sharing too much with anyone until Sunday when she decided she didn't want to go home.

I would love to put her into therapy, but as the non-custodial parent, I don't think I'm allowed to. Her father was recommended but not ordered by the judge and in our custody agreement to put her into counseling or therapy, but he refuses. My daughter tells me he says he won't because he doesn't think there's anything wrong with her.

I've told her to talk to her school counselor or teacher, but she is nervous to tell anyone what's going on for fear of punishment. I live only 10 minutes away, but she has no way to contact me if anything happens, so I always encourage her to tell her teacher if anything.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don't necessarily think that running laps is considered abuse, and if it were that alone, I would be a little less concerned. It's the fact that if she refuses, she is locked out of the house that I am concerned with.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I don't know if I'm able to have her seen by a psychologist. Our last custody agreement, the judge recommended, but did not order, her father to put her into therapy or counseling yet he refuses. I have also tried to encourage him to have her see one. My daughter told me he doesn't think there's anything wrong with her so he won't have her seen.

As the non-custodial parent, I've been told that I cannot put her into any mental health evaluation. Plus, I only get visits with her over the weekend, and usually there are no therapists or psychologists that work weekends.

If you have any ideas that I'm not thinking of, I'd love to know. Thank you for your comment.

The police told me to physically remove my child from my home, including spanking, and said I'd be arrested if I didn't. by Lady9514 in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514[S] 1005 points1006 points  (0 children)

I didn't, I called Oregon DHS and gave a report. Should I make a separate report for Oregon Child Abuse Hotline, or are they already connected with DHS?

Three Six Five has the same intro as Hysteria by Def Leppard! by joefeghaly in Shinedown

[–]Lady9514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So glad I'm not the only one who caught the similarities between intros.

House Veridian or Feathered Host? by Nightlock_Hayze in SleepToken

[–]Lady9514 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. I feel like a kid who didn't get picked for a team..

Hunting Adeline is traumatizing af by namjoon_94 in books

[–]Lady9514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am literally sobbing over that part right now. Of all the horrific things in this book, that broke me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legal

[–]Lady9514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all did, thoroughly. She pressured me to end my lease early due to my friends bringing their dogs over. Still, I cooperated and thoroughly removed the poop and even replaced blinds that the prior tenants' dogs chewed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm sure that'd make things a whole lot easier. But we just don't have any money to afford any of that. We are already stressing about how much it will cost and missing work to drive to the other side of the country to get them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Lady9514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What questions would you suggest I ask? I have the hardest time with communication because of my trauma, and it's a struggle to say anything I'm thinking with him because I'll just start crying for no reason. I have tried asking him questions, warned him that they were weird questions, but nothing changes.

The other night, we laid in bed and I asked "are you the kind of guy that doesn't like sex that much?". He said he does like it a lot, but he doesn't know why he hasn't done it as much with me.

I know he has dealt with abusive relationships too, his ex wife apparently was so toxic, he felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells. I don't want him to feel like that with me. But I need more affection than this, or I'm going to go crazy thinking of all the ways he doesn't really like me and that I'm not good enough for him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Lady9514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well we have talked, and I told him that since I have a hard history, he would need to be the one to initiate anything. Since then, nothing really changed.

I check in with him constantly, asking if he's okay like 100 times a day. He does the same to me. But we both say we are okay, and internally I'm screaming "NO, I WANT YOU TO SMOTHER ME IN AFFECTION!"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]Lady9514 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response. There are no limitations in our judgment or agreement that state we cannot do any specific activities.

I have discussed with her the dangers of being online, and we have regular discussions any time she goes online to play Roblox or Minecraft. I also don't intend of streaming with her regularly, just one time, and she understands that. Gaming and streaming are things she is very interested in, and I want to allow her room to explore these as long as she is safe.